i decided that all of this needs to be out in the open and perhaps it will help more understand the danger of implants......

a person would only have to see my chest one time, to feel the anger, sadness, pain and fear of rejection because of the mutilation of my body.

and this happens every day. somewhere, more than one woman will be sitting in a doctor's office tomorrow, with a misshaped breast, in horrid pain, and he's at his wit's end at how he is going to help her. i went to different doctor's for help...ones that didn't do the the surgery that was f----- up. one doctor actually cried when he saw my chest. he even called the doctor that had done the last surgery. this man is a world reknowned plastic surgeon who operates on celebrities every day. he's seen almost every thing that you could see when it comes to botched plastic surgery.

my advice is that if you're ever offered reconstruction or if you just want bigger breasts.......do your research and do it well. and above all, talk to every woman that you can find that has had implants inserted into her body.

and YES, i know that some people have implants and have never had trouble. this is about what happens when something does go awry.

there is a photograph of me, with only one breast,(i went without an implant for five years and developed horrid arthritis in my neck because i compensated for the "off balance of weight" on my chest..) standing by my big camera that is on a tripod, in a famous book about women from all over the world. it was in an exhibition in Montreal and people stood, looking at it and openly wept.

if one woman who reads my ranting poem, hesitates and rethinks her feelings about her body.......that is enough for me. love, pat

p.s. due to all of this, i'm in a fight for my life right now. my immune system is being attacked by the silicone from implant rupture.
going public seems the thing do do now.

[SeptemberMorn]

You're a very courageous woman, Pat! I wish you all the very best in this latest struggle in your life.

thank you, tomi. i ain't giving up............not at all. i do get down and sometimes the headaches make me think i'm dying...but something pulls me through........probably because i'm a tough ole broad.

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL Yep! We're a couple of "tough old broads"!! I've got faith in you, Pat! I'm here if you need me.

[CedarS]

((((((((Pat)))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

Hi Pat,
I'm sorry you're going through such pain.
((((((Pat)))))

[Lexicon78]

I'm so glad that I don't believe in plastic surgery or anything that will reconstruct your body just so it looks better.

(((((Pat)))))

[darkeyes]

OMG!! Pat, I didn't know all this was all going on, I am sorry to hear this. I am sending you many,positive,good wishes for love,luck and good healing.

Love,
Roe

(((((((((((( Fayerody )))))))))

[(JD)]

((((((((((((((((((((((((pat)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[katheryn]

(((((((((((((pat))))))))))))))

[tracylee]

My sister went thru this exact problem, she had the soy bean implant which the medical people found out was VERY dangerous and had a 'product recall' and anyone who was thinking of having a baby should not do so until they have had the soy bean implant out for at least a year (this was in a letter)but Karen was already pregnant!!! Months and months of worry and when the baby was born by c section, she had the implants replaced within days of the baby being born. So far, everything with her and the baby is ok (he is 5 now).

But imagine getting a letter like that in the post whilst you are pregnant.................

[wisewoman]

Pat, Please know I am not intentionally stupid. It is just me. I knew a woman who had breast cancer and three months after her mastectomy had her second breast removed as a precaution. I have breast cancer in my family and have always thought that I would ask the surgeon to lop them both off. I hope this doesn't sound horrid to you, I am trying to understand. Thanks for the silicone reminder and I hope you feel better with this flare up soon.

I also wanted to say that I for one am lousy at ever doing self breast exam. I even had a doc teach me once. Is there a resource that you are aware of that speaks more to this and can help lazy people like me who are at risk remember to do this at least monthly? Thanks for your concern.

for lexie, fyi, at 31 when i had breast cancer i was told that the implants were safe. that was in 1974. i didn't have "reconstruction" to make myself look better, i had reconstruction because i had had both breasts removed to save my life. i had breast cancer. a lot of women,of my age, made the decision about reconstruction years ago and now regret it. we didn't have the information back then that is available now. i am speaking about this to inform my sisters what the risks can be. individual decisions are just that, individual.......

i went back to you, lexie, because reconstruction, after cancer, is a decision that is usually not made just to "look better" or to have bigger breasts. it has an awfully lot to do with a person's feeling about their feminity. i know that is why i had reconstruction. at that age, i couldn't imagine going without my breasts for the rest of my life. now, i can imagine it and will probably be that way in no time at all.

your doctor should be able to give you a very "doable" diagram of a self-examination. i also bet you can find one at the American Cancer Society website. i'm so hyper sensitive about it that i know it backwards and forwards. i'm sure that you can find out how to do it. and i want you to do it. it might save your life. it did mine.

[wisewoman]

Oh Pat, I didn't know you had had both breasts removed. You know I would do it in a heart beat if it meant saving my life. My hubby's grandmother had it done in the fifties and she lived with little strength in arms and lymphodema for the noext 45 years. I will learn to do S.B.E., even if she has to teach hubby to do it for me. Thanks for the reminders.

thank you for your courage in posting on this...I am praying(if ok) that your immune system will be restored..so very grateful for your truth here...you have opened my eyes(personally) and heart...take gentle care..

of course it is good to have prayers......thank you so much. i will beat this.........i'm going to the reservation in about 10 days for a healing ceremony. xoxox pat

[eskielover]

Pat, I didn't realize that you had breast cancer....I know that operations that long ago were just at the beginning of better knowledge of how to perform the surgery let alone the methods of reconstruction afterwards. Techniques have progressed so much along with knowledge of what the implants can do in the long run. It is sad to realize that you went through it before good knowledge was available....I am sure you thought what you were doing was safe & would cause no problems in the long run & let you look like nothing had been done.

I guess being as small as I am (32 AA), there isn't much there & any lumps are obvious immediately. Years ago, when I was on a skiing vacation, I noticed a lump while showering. I immediately decided that having a mammogram was necessary. My mother had always told me that when you find any lump that is should be checked out. Having a mammogram when you are as small as I am is difficult also......I never got a call back on the outcome, so I called up my Dr. He reviewed the results & told me that "I was just lumpy". What a relief...but it always gets a laugh when it comes out that I am lumpy. That was quite a relief however.

The sad part of this is that it was my Mother who told me to always have any lump checked & she was the one that totally ignored the lump on her vulva. She told me that it was the size of a small marble & she thought it was only a cyst. She didn't want to take care of it until after she got her drivers license renewed because if it required surgery, it would be hard for her to drive. Come to find out it was cancer & by the time she did anything about it, the tumor was the size of my fist & it was stage IV cancer....1 year of chemo & radiation, the surgery & 6 months later the cancer had spread to her lungs & brain & she died never believing that she was dying of cancer because her surgeon kept telling her "that he got it all in the surgery". Cancer is a rough & it needs to be caught in the beginning. I lost a good friend from college to non-hodgkins lymphoma just 2 months before my Mothers surgery...another case of knowing that something was wrong but not wanting to go to a doctor & ignoring the symptoms. He wasn't even Dx'ed with cancer until a couple of days before his first chemo treatment when he died.

Cancer of all kinds are serious & all lumps need to be checked immediately. It is great that you have posted your experience.....we need to learn from others experiences & I appreciate you posting your experience. Procedures improve over the years as Dr's learn from their past problems of their patients....as long as we the patients don't insist on procedures that aren't safe for ourselves.

Thank you for sharing your experience.....I pray that your immune system will improve with time, & I am sure that the healing ceremony will be a valuable step towards your recovery.

Prayers, hugz, & love,
Debbie