[Pandoren]

I've had depression for 13 years now (I'm 24). I'm in a place now where I'm so utterly lost I have no idea what to do or how to do it. When I was younger and people asked me questions like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I'd respond with something just to give them an answer, because the truth of it was that I didn't expect myself to live to reach adulthood. And then I did.

I don't have any clue what I want to be... and whatever that is, I'm not good enough to achieve it. No one would hire me. I'm depressed, I have social issues, never had a job and I can't remember most of what I learned at school or college. I want a job where I have to interact with people the least amount of time possible. I did think about running an internet business, but that isn't happening for various reasons.

You can't get anywhere in life without money. To get money you need a job. I'm running out of time and I don't know what to do.

(After years of visiting counsellors and therapists) I went to a psychologist and, like the others, she couldn't help me. She referred me to a Community Mental Health Team and they can't help me either. The psychologist there, who I didn't like, I saw for one session and he already indicated that I was in danger of being kicked out of the service if I didn't make up my mind what I wanted help with (it wasn't my idea to see him anyway, I told the care coordinator it would be a waste of my time). If I knew the answers to my own questions I wouldn't be there. So I guess I'm preparing for the mighty boot. And then... I don't know.

[onionknight]

You sound a lot like me. I've been depressed most of myself life as well, and honestly, I never imagined myself having a future either. I didn't think I'd live beyond my teenage years so it didn't matter that I never saw myself as able to participate in the real world.

It has come back to haunt me. I graduated college and fell into a horrible depression because I thought my life was over, and I would never feel as good as I did in school. I am working at an unpaid internship now, feeling guilty about not earning money but lost about which directions I should turn to start carving my own life.

There's a niche out there for you. Sould searching can be painful, but it is something that has to be done. Avoidance is a big symptom of depression for me, so when I need to focus the most, I drift away.

[gimmeice]

There is something out there for you, it may take some time to find it but it will be worth it in the end. I am still on my search at the age of 33 for what will make me happy in life but I have come a long way in the process. Remember if you get a job it doesn't mean that you are stuck doing that for all eternity but a job, even one you dislike may help you figure out what steps need to be taken to find something you will like. There are jobs with limited interaction required such as a dishwasher or stock person for a store.

[depressednikki]

Hello, I am new to this whole forum, but I was reading some threads and felt this one is what I am exactly feeling. I have been dealing with depression since high school. I have my good years and bad years, but this has been the worst period of depression for me. I have no one to talk too. My friends dont understand and my family does not understand. I need to talk to people that understand how I feel. Is there really hope for the future?