[OliversTwisted94]

So, recently I have been under a LOT of stress. About a month ago, my brother-in-law suddenly passed away. Since then, my sister has been living with us. For those of you who haven't read my posts about my sister, I'll sum it up nice and simple for you: MY. SISTER. IS. EVIL.
No joke; she really is crafty, manipulative and very mean. She makes a sport out of making people feel as miserable as she is. I mean, we all are dealing with a huge loss too; her husband was more of a sibling to me than she ever was. They had a 2-year-old son together, and we are also living with that chaos :P (But, even if he's in his terrible 2's, he is really a sweet kid). She has Bipolar, bulimia, and probably some other issues besides that (but we don't know, because she has ALWAYS refused therapy). On top of that, because of how poorly she took care of her body when she was growing up (drugs, drinking, bulimia, etc), she is in constant poor health. But now, she's 2 months pregnant (She got pregnant literally RIGHT before her husband fell ill), so she has all of these horrible raging hormones ON TOP of the Bipolar, and she also can't take her medication. Her pregnancy is VERY VERY VERY high risk; she isn't supposed to do any lifting, and she is technically supposed to be on bed rest. Needless to say (no matter how hard we try to be gentle, understanding, and let things go), it has been hell living with her.

On top of that, I am in a day treatment program right now; however, next week is my last. The insurance doesn't want to continue to pay for me to be in the program, simply because I'm not doing the same "acting out" behaviors as the other kids (i.e.- I don't throw chairs or cuss people out; I internalize everything and end up becoming more and more self-destructive).

So anyway, right now I am tremendously stressed out; I have been to the point where I have felt suicidal, as well as self-harming every single day again. The thing that is worrisome to me is my physical health. I haven't been eating really well. I maybe eat one meal a day, if I can force it down. Otherwise, I literally have no appetite. I am by NO means thin; I'm actually rather obese. However, with eating so little the past couple of days, I am beginning to feel a physical toll. I am fatigued, faint/dizzy/lightheaded, really groggy/confused, and my emotions are even stronger than ever.

I just don't know what to do; I doubt that I will starve to death in the near future, but I still worry because I have a myriad of other physical health issues, including an autoimmune disorder. I worry about my physical health getting worse.... but I STILL can't bring myself to eat anything. I literally FEEL hungry, but then, when I try to eat (or even look at) food, I just feel like I'm gonna blow chunks everywhere. It's horrible!!!

SOOOOOOOOO............. anyone got any advice on how to get my appetite back, at least to a point where I'm eating the bare minimum to meet my nutritional needs?

[lizardlady]

Wiltedrose, I can relate to not being able to eat when under stress. The same happens to me. The sight of food makes me ill and I can't force food down for fear it will come back up. Is there anything you can manage to eat? At one point when I was not able to eat the only thing I could get down was corn chips and salsa (go figure!). It also helps me to know the not being a ble to eat will pass. I give myself permission not to eat. That helps relieve some of the stress. I found that fussing at myself about not eating just makes the situation worse. The fussing adds to my stress which makes me want to eat even less, so I'd fuss more and around the circle I'd go.

So, is there anything you can get down? If so, go with that for the time being. At the same time can you give yourself permission to not eat?

I don't mean to be inconsideraste, but if your sister is such a terror to live with why are you allowing her to live in your home? I understand wanting to be supportive since her husband died, but you have the right to take care of yourself too.

[Hellion]

I have PTSD so I am typically in a state of constant stress, sometimes its worse than at other times. But yeah a lot of times I can't eat because of it, I will make the effort but sometimes just the thought makes me nauseous.......like I am subconsciously thinking 'and how the hell are you going to digest that with all your energy going to anxiety and watching your back.'

So yeah too much stress can certainly interfere with that, as from my understanding it causes less energy to go to things like digestion because the energy is going to trying to cope with the stress mentally. Only think I know that helps is to reduce the stress but that is much easier said than done.

[OliversTwisted94]

Well, I'm actually not the one allowing her to live her; I still live with my mother and her boyfriend. Like I said, my sister has a lot of mental health issues as well. We, as a family, are really concerned for the unborn child; I mean, she is two and a half months pregnant, but she only weighs 110 pounds (and she is about 5 ft., 8 in.). We want to make sure she can keep herself healthy(ish) and at least feeling a little more secure. She was with her husband from the time they were juniors in high school; and hell, it's even more devastating because he was one of the few people who was laid back enough to deal with all of her issues without going a little insane himself. I know that, with the pain I have felt since he died...... well, I would imagine that it would be, like, a million times worse for her since they were married. My mom is trying to put up with the stress the best she can, too; it's just that, because I am over 4 years younger than her (and the fact that I don't "fight back" or get as outwardly aggressive), I am an easy target. My mom is hardly home because she is working two jobs, so she doesn't witness it as much... but from what she does see, even she is shocked at the ferocity of it (I have been putting up with being the target of my sister's shenanigans for the past 8 years, since she was a teen. I never felt that my mom understood exactly WHAT it was I was up against. Therefore, when my sister flew off the handle at me- AGAIN- the other day, for mistakenly using her body wash, I was happy when my mother FINALLY acknowledged it. It may sound kinda strange that I was a little happy at hearing "Geez.... if this is what you were putting up with for so long, it's no wonder that you want a little crazy". It was a joke, but it was somehow still comforting.)
Anyways, back on topic. As to what I can keep down, it really doesn't seem like much of anything. Maybe something dry, like tortilla chips or baked chips; and it seems as though the only meat I can eat is chicken. I know that Subway and baked chips isn't much of a healthy diet lol. Well, at least today at lunchtime at the treatment center, I managed to eat a slice of pizza before I felt like I was gonna be sick (YAY!!! ). Supper tonight for me was Subway... but now I feel like I'm gonna be sick again (even though I ate that close to five hours ago already ). I just wish I could go without eating; however, I'm a Type 2 diabetic and am not on medication, and I have been told (repeatedly) that I should be eating regularly in order to control my A1C levels (I have had a problem with eating in public for a few years now, so I just tend to avoid eating in any place where there are people other than family members around. I even avoid eating at family functions too, sometimes- depending on how many people are there and how well I know them. I actually was diagnosed with an EDNOS because of that fact.... as well as a few other factors). I also have hypothyroidism, which my doctor told me it was even more important to eat a well-balanced diet, because my body has such a hard time processing food and nutrients.
Anyway, I have an appointment scheduled to get blood-work done this coming Wednesday; and then an appointment for an actual physical on Monday the 7th. I will be sure to ask my GP if there is anything she can give me for nausea, or anything medication-wise that could be causing the problem. I hope that we can figure SOMETHING out, before I start experiencing REALLY serious complications.

[CastlesInTheAir]

Have you tried running for 10 minutes or some kind of excercise? Try eating very small snackish meals, start with crackers or carrots, maybe some fruit, drink a milk shake, etc.

When I first got hit with extreme anxiety and panic attacks I literally ate nothing for a month. I drank A LOT of ensure so try doing that as well to get your nutrients in until you get your full appetite back and lots of water as well......when I finally felt like I could eat and my medication finally kicked in I wanted to eat the entire frig!

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Wiltedrose, I can relate to not being able to eat when under stress. The same happens to me. The sight of food makes me ill and I can't force food down for fear it will come back up. Is there anything you can manage to eat? At one point when I was not able to eat the only thing I could get down was corn chips and salsa (go figure!). It also helps me to know the not being a ble to eat will pass. I give myself permission not to eat. That helps relieve some of the stress. I found that fussing at myself about not eating just makes the situation worse. The fussing adds to my stress which makes me want to eat even less, so I'd fuss more and around the circle I'd go.

So, is there anything you can get down? If so, go with that for the time being. At the same time can you give yourself permission to not eat?

I don't mean to be inconsideraste, but if your sister is such a terror to live with why are you allowing her to live in your home? I understand wanting to be supportive since her husband died, but you have the right to take care of yourself too.

i remember one time the only thing i could eat was chicken soup- for the same reasons... stress, and for the fear that if i ate something else, it would come rushing to the surface again.

i've also had times where i've been so stressed.. i've litirally thrown up at the smell of food (even if it's something i enjoy eating usually)

for now though i'm eating which is good

[lizardlady]

Wiltedrose, I didn't realize you and your sister are living at your mother's house. I thought she was living at your house.

It sounds like you have a lot of health concerns that are impacted by not eating. In additition to talking to your doctor, do you have a T? They might be able to teach you some stress management skills.

[eskielover]

Yes, I have gone through the same stress issues of not eating as you are experiencing. I had been anorexic back in 1995.....after years of that, I ended up gaining quite a bit when I couldn't get outside & do anything with the horrible migraines I ended up having.

Got the migraines under control in 2003 & started being able to ride my horse again & be active & the weight started coming off slowly.....then wham.....stress hit, my mother's cancer & the abuse & trauma with the home care person.....I lost all the weight I had gained & back down to the anorexic level in less than 4 months.....I couldn't eat because I felt sick every time I saw food & even drinking felt horrible. I actually landed in the medical hospital on IV nutrition because of that....just at the time my mother died.

My GP actually had me on the medication they give to cancer patients when they get sick from chemo. It didn't help much. The only food I seemed to be able to handle during that time was about 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich......& a few oatmeal cookies. They were mild enough & pretty plain so my stomach didn't reject them as it seemed to the rest of the food. Being in the hospital on & off for several months, they were always trying to find food that I would eat & not having to fix it myself really didn't help.....I just couldn't eat because of the stress & the trauma.

It doesn't take long for the weight to drop off to a dangerous place even when you are overweight....only thing than was that it left me with more wrinkles than my 90+ year old grandmother had. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I almost screamed.....but then by that time, I was 51 years old.

When I first started loosing the weight, I was seeing my GP because of an asthma attack I had & bronchitis from forest fire smoke that hit where I was living......so his comment when my weight loss started was to make sure I was taking vitamines...he said that will help even with the weight loss. He tried to encourage me to drink those drinks like sustical or the such but because of the horrible experience I had with them in the ED disorders treatment center I had been in the last time I had the anorexia issues....there was no way I could get them down.....but since you haven't had that negative experience, maybe between those & vitamines, your blood work will be able to stay healthy inspite of not being able to eat well.

My pdoc tried to prescribe meds that would help me gain weight....but I wasn't into taking meds like that....& my GP didn't think it was a good idea either....the anti-nausea meds are ok...just don't take compozine because it can cause parkinson's like side effects.....other kinds are much better that they use for cancer patients.

Hope you can get through this.....I know the difficult situation you are in......it definitely brings back some memories for me.....but wish you the best with this