[INeedSleep]

Its not that im suicidal, i dont want to die right now but honestly i cant see myself having a future. Lately when i get stressed/mad/sad i calm myself down by thinking about commiting suicide I even know how i would do it. At first this never seemed weird to me but one night i got so mad that i almost tried to. The only reason i didnt try was because i didnt have the specific tool to kill myself with. After that night i knew this is a growing problem because now all i ever do is think about suicide but i have no reason to im not depressed or anything but i want to die... Does anyone know whats wrong?

I don't, but the first time I tried to kill myself...I realized right then, that my life was more important...Even tho it didn't feel that way, I knew that someday I would thank myself for not going thru with it. Today is that day I realized, there is hope for you. I know it. <3

Originally Posted by INeedSleep

Its not that im suicidal, i dont want to die right now but honestly i cant see myself having a future. Lately when i get stressed/mad/sad i calm myself down by thinking about commiting suicide I even know how i would do it. At first this never seemed weird to me but one night i got so mad that i almost tried to. The only reason i didnt try was because i didnt have the specific tool to kill myself with. After that night i knew this is a growing problem because now all i ever do is think about suicide but i have no reason to im not depressed or anything but i want to die... Does anyone know whats wrong?

have you spoken to anyone about these feelings?

if not- would you feel you could?

[violinm9]

I think about death a lot too. Sometimes it seems like an easy escape. But I never have a definite plan. It sure looks attractvive though. Any thoughts? Am I depressed?

[squeeze321]

I have always been fascinated with death for some reason.

I had faced death once as a child and once as a teen when I was aged both 9 and 16 and both of these near death experiences were positive (I felt love, joy and happiness for the first time) and I almost passed away due to the actions/neglect of others, and not due to my own actions.

But during an extreme low point in my life a few years ago, I started to think about suicide for the first time and I was begining to think up a plan.....which is very very serious. I found myself on You Tube and I watched some videos on suicide (I did not save the links) but after watching a few of the videos, I realised how lucky I was to be alive.

I do not want to describe the videos in detail because I don't want to freak anyone out, but it was gross, really urghhhhh but I needed to see it and it helped me at the time.

I am also familliar with what happens to a person's spirit after they commit suicide and I am being extremly honest, I will never, ever consider it again for as long as I live. I will always remember those images and stay alive. I hope if anyone out there is feeling desperate that they get inspiration from my post and choose to live.

[possum220]

Hiya INeedSleep,

Thinking about the subject for some is a means of escaping the current painful issues in your life. Some people have suicidal ideation and do nothing about it. Maybe you could have a chat with a professional eg, Doctor or therapist and check out what the real issues are.

Take Care