I'm not saying I'm suicidal. I just simply have no zest for life.

any reason behind that ?

I just don't feel like getting up in the morning and I don't have the mental energy required to maintain a lifestyle.

is that feeling a new thing or has it been there for some time now?

I've felt like this on and off for a few months.

[lizardlady]

IT, have you talked to your pdoc or T about this?

Not yet.

i see , i think it's a normal symptome of depression nothing critical as long as you don't feel suicidal but did it's better if you tried talking to someone about it like your T for exemple , did you try that?

......sorry didn't read your post before replaying -_-' i think it's better to talk to you T about it since it seems to be bothering you for some time now

i would've mentioned it except it wasn't happening on the day of the appointments but I guess I will mention it next time regardless.

i understand , hope you get better

[Dreamy01]

That sounds like lethargy that is usually associated with depression. It's hard having no energy or enthuasism. From your last post do you mean it doesn't happen everyday, just sometimes? Maybe therapy is a source of enthasism (I can understand that one!)? I think it would be good to talk to t about these feelings if you can. S/he might help you explore what is causing them.

My parents want me to do stuff. Get a job, move out, etc. I just give them this blank look because I don't really have any motivation to do any of that.

Part of it is just this lifelong tendency to feel tired and overwhelmed by life.

Haha even my uncle had a talk with me telling me how I'm attractive and intelligent and I should be living my life to the fullest etc. he is so ****ing naive.

And my employment agency is useless. I can't wait to quit that agency, I will do it the first thing tomorrow. i was supposed to do it today, but whatever.

[Open Eyes]

You know Illegal, it isn't that you have not made efforts. You have to give yourself some credit for doing that. The problem is that the job situation everywhere is bad for everyone, even the best of the best are struggling. You are just being hard on yourself and forget to take that into consideration. So many people right now are depressed so it isn't just you.

Your parents are out of touch with the reality of the job market right now. And it sounds like they are out of touch to begin with by the way they have given negetive nurturing to you growing up. It is not intentional on their part, it is because they are ignorant and didn't know how to raise a child right. Sigh...that happens way too much.

You have to get back on your feet and take some baby steps again. Learn to ignore their negetive input and continue taking steps towards helping yourself inspite of their negetive programing.

You are just in a place right now where you don't see a forward motion, believe me, you are definitely not alone in that. So be patient with yourself.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[whatbeanbelieved]

(((((Illegal Toilet))))))

[chelcw06]

I seem to have that problem too... I'm having a good day when I see my psychiatrist or therapist.

I'm sorry for my outbursts.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

You know Illegal, it isn't that you have not made efforts. You have to give yourself some credit for doing that. The problem is that the job situation everywhere is bad for everyone, even the best of the best are struggling. You are just being hard on yourself and forget to take that into consideration. So many people right now are depressed so it isn't just you.

Your parents are out of touch with the reality of the job market right now. And it sounds like they are out of touch to begin with by the way they have given negetive nurturing to you growing up. It is not intentional on their part, it is because they are ignorant and didn't know how to raise a child right. Sigh...that happens way too much.

The job market is pretty good over here in Australia, but I have always struggled to get a job. Mostly because I'm not motivated, and also because I don't interview well. I have never gotten a job by applying for it, it's always been a relative or a neighbour who has gotten me a job. That fact alone has to be affecting my motivation. And then there's the fact that I am generally unmotivated anyway.

[IowaFarmGal]

I do that too. The world could be falling apart but everythings fine that day in therapy. I think she knows better though since I've done a little head banging in front of her and she keeps suggesting groups. I can't help it, she anchors my world. Maybe take notes on how you're feeling daily and hand it to her at your sessions. I still have stuff I should bring up but never think of that day. Did you mention punching yourself by the way? Don't mean to be an annoying pain in the ***, maybe I am though.

[InTheShadows]

Hi IT,

I think you should go to a doctor and get help. My cycle starts with a passive suicidality (the wish to not live life anymore, no energy, etc). It then progresses to a more active suicidality. I just want you to be careful so you don't find yourself in a dangerous situation mentally.

Shady

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I'm not saying I'm suicidal. I just simply have no zest for life.

"I don't want to die, I just don't want to be me."

Originally Posted by InTheShadows

Hi IT,

I think you should go to a doctor and get help. My cycle starts with a passive suicidality (the wish to not live life anymore, no energy, etc). It then progresses to a more active suicidality. I just want you to be careful so you don't find yourself in a dangerous situation mentally.

Shady

Yeah I have been thinking about that, and I think it will eventually become suicidal in nature, in a few years. I am always in contact with my psychiatrist or doctor if I need to be.

[Skoobusnla]

I am just now at the end of that cycle, seems to get worse everytime, I miss alot of work because of being Bipolar, its hard for me mostly because I dont do anything to cause it, it just comes on out of nowhere it really sucks to put it nicely, hang in there I always think that this time is the time that im not going to make it through and some how I do, sometimes just barely though.