~~~~ Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?~~~~~

- Mary Manin Morrissey

abject fear. insecurities. loss. pure unadulterated anxiety and panic. $6.95 in bank. need cat food and litter, if i get to go to Oklahoma today or tomorrow. colleen mistakenly thought that my SS had arrived and it was something else. my hopes are dashed. crying seems the only way out and i'm too tired to cry. all of this i would let go, if i could.

help, please. pat

[bebop]

((((((((((pat)))))))))))))))) hon I am sorry you are going thru such a rough time!! I wish there was more I could do but I can only lend and ear and hugs...praying for you and Bill today.

Hi there. Sorry you are having such a hard time. Please let me know if there is anything I can do? Hope life smiles at you/Bill soon... Don't give up!

[January]

((((((((( Pat ))))))))))

I'm so very sorry. I wish I could do more, but I'm praying for you.

Hugs,

Jan

[SeptemberMorn]

Pat, that "motivator" speaks of OLD pain. You're working with NOW pain. You need the brakes right about now, Hon.

Wish I could upload you some liter and cat food. Just got large bags the other day. If I had it, I'd give you some money...

Hang in there. You're a member of the Tough Old Broad's Club. I'm making it through and so can you!

Can Bill write you out a check or lend you his credit/atm card??

Bill is lower than a snake's belly and isn't getting out of the house now. a lot of pain. otherwise, i'd ask. plus he is soooooooo worried about his future and the job thing.

i know i'm tough. it's just hard to draw upon it at times. and i hardly ever whine......the animals are trying to draw me out today. and that is helpful. they always sense pain in their loved ones.

and i'm reading another mystery. i'm trying, Tomi.

[Sabrina]

I am sorry ... wish I could help you. I am really sorry.

sabrina, you always help me by being here. i'll survive this. i know alot of it is being in an unfamiliar place and not having a feeling of security. thank you, dear woman. xoxoxo pat

I'm sorry, dear you!

[radio_flyer]

If I had the money, I'd send it to you in a heartbeat.. I don't have a dime to my name....I lost everything I had... Anyway, maybe the fund here at PC can reach in and help out.. Am not sure how one goes about it tho.....

folks, the $ isn't as important as knowing you're with me. i'll make it. the daughter in Austin may be able to help me today.

the support is the best thing right now. don't worry about the $. it's the holding me up that counts.

[SeptemberMorn]

I'm sorry! I didn't know he was out of the hospital!! That's a good thing!!! YAY!! GAWD, I hope that wasn't a typo on your part! Dare I hope??

You know... there have been a couple of times that I haven't been too proud to put regular dirt in the litter box. And recently, instead of buying canned dog food to mix with Amber's dry food, I've been making gravy with beef and chicken broth to help flavor her food. She's not as keen on it as she is the canned food, but oh well... she's not going hungry unless SHE wants to.

If being aware that I know what you're going through helps, then by all means know that I know! It's the getting from here to there that's the challenge. But we always manage to get "there"! And it feels SO GOOD to know that we're almost there!! That's where I am right now.

[radio_flyer]

I can sooooooo relate to what your going through...(((((((((fayerody)))))))))))... I am here for you because i care............ Sending songs of love and joy and peace...some jazzy sax and jazzy bass... and a few

[mrb020377]

(((((((((((((((((((pat)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

honey I feel for you!!! I am soo sorry that you are having such a rough time. moving and getting settled is hard enough with out the extra strain... if i knew where you lvied i would drive down and give you a hug!!!

pat......you are in my thoughts and prayers

pat we are like two peas in a pod. Really. I mean that. I know the running out of money thing all too well.

Thinking of you from canada!

thanks, thanks, thanks.....bill is at home. it's the waiting.

the gas stove hasn't been hooked up yet and i can't cook the rice and stuff for the animals.

AND like the ditz that i am, i didn't bring my hotplate. i assumed that the gas was turned on. i can't get it turned on without the lease and the landlord has been too busy to bring it to me....

BUT i have hot water and i had a shower. it shoots out in a very hard stream and i fancy that it is like those spa things where they do the hydrotherapy...though i didn't enjoy the intensity of it. a breaker had been thrown and i got it on and lo and behold, hot water. murphy's law.

i know that i'll get through this. i've gotten through worse.

and i may have to resort to dirt. the cats wouldn't mind it. they prefer going outside but am keeping them in, in case i get to leave for Oklahoma...........they're pissed, as only cats can be. the slitty eyes and the occasional yowl.

does anyone know how to access social security online? i got really weird sites when i googled it. i am probably doing it wrong.

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/

And this is for you and Bill...

Bright Side Of The Road by Van Morrison

From the dark end of street
To the bright side of the road

We'll be lovers once again
On the bright side of the road.

Little darlin' come with me
Won't you help me share my load

From the dark end of the street
To the bright side of the road.

Into this life we're born
Baby sometimes we don't know why

And time seems to go by so fast
In the twinkling of any eye.

Let's enjoy it while we can
Won't you help me sing my song

From the dark end of the street
To the bright side of the road.

We'll be lovers once again
On the bright side of the road.

i went to a site called "social securities online" and then to the place where you can find answers to questions...there is one about."what if i don't get my check....."

[jennie]

can you manage on a credit card for now? what about selling or pawning stuff?

(((((huggs))))))

Pet........tears.....that is one of my most favourite songs ever. thank you ever so much...............

julia, thanks........i'll go there............xoxox pat

jennie, i actually have thought of that. i have some antiques that i don't want. i noticed that this town has several antique stores. i'm going to scout them out and see which one seems most "with it".....thanks for jogging my memory. i also have a 14k necklace(and i don't want it) that i think i'll take into Austin.....thank you, jennie.

wooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo. my birthday is on the tenth of the month. my check will be paid on the second wednesday of the month. which is tomorrow....................sigh.......sigh.........sigh.............

thank you so much, julia. i just could not get the right site. xoxoxo

How I wish I could help you more then write these words.

I love you ((((((((Pat)))))))))