hurting badly

i am hurting so much right now

Hey don't worry your not alone in the hurt right now I feel as if my whole world is coming crashing around me but thats depression for you it always get you when you least expect it, so go ahead and tell us whats making you hurt so much? Maybe we can help.

(((((((((((((((((((des)))))))))))))))))))))))

You're my little spring flower and I feel brighter every time I think of you. My workday can be hectic or upsetting and I remember you, up there, pluggin away and trucking through the muck you're experiencing.....cranking some angry or sad tunes.......my kin, my sister.............how I could "feel" for someone I've not even spoken to.........but how real it is, the yearning for your happiness and the void in my soul when you're not ok.

I wished I could make it better, if anyone deserves that, it's you. But, even in your darkness, even in the most angry and confusing times when you cannot see the next hour in front of you........you are lifting my heart and brightening my day and making me feel very warm inside to know you.

Hello Desperado.
I am very sorry that you are hurtine at this time. Please feel free to PM. Please call your therapist or Dr if you feel that you need more professional help. Take care I hope you feel better soon Desperado. Soidhonia

my hurt is the result of my thoughts & what i perceive to be reality.

i try to be a nice, sympathetic person, i really, really do. but when i feel as if my gestures are slammed and/or invalidated by someone 9espec when i go out of my way to try to help --- totally getting stabbed in the back -- all the past horrible experiences, name-calling, degradation, abuse, etc. re-enter my mind. i cannot shut this off, no matter how hard i try, using different techniques. i feel like the worst person on the planet.....so hated, so alone, so rejected, so useless, so insignificant.

i realize not everyone will like me of course, but it brings this overwhelming pain to me.

that's why i'm hurting.

makes me want to off myself.

thx for listening, psyclox.

and love you, Tal.

((((Soid))))) no i cannot see my pdoc till april 16 unfort.

(((((((((((((((desperado))))))))))))))))

"my hurt is the result of my thoughts & what i perceive to be reality"

...........and with this my incredible friend, you will move forward, for this realization is huge, even if you don't know what to do about it.

................."using different techniques. i feel like the worst person on the planet.....so hated, so alone, so rejected, so useless, so insignificant."

Repeat that first line you said up above about what YOU perceive as reality, over and over until you remember that your perception is not the best judge right now, so these thoughts cannot be true....................they are not true...............and if you can't understand it, I will be the first to love and hug you and argue with those nasty little thoughts you're whipping up..........I'm in there beating those thoughts away from you...

Im Very sorry you are hurting so badly I wish I could make you feel better! Hang in there! ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
<3,
Mamazangel

i am so sorry that you're hurting this badly. i hope that you're feeling a bit better and things are looking up for you. PM me if you need to talk. xoxoxo pat

thinking of you and wishing I could help. (((hugs)))

I'm sorry you're in such pain. I get help from talking to a friend or professional when I'm feeling that way. Maybe by talking it out you can see if your deep feelings of rejection are based in reality or was it an over-reaction in fear of rejection? Sometimes the truth can be in the middle. Remember that putting your well being in the hands of others is a no win situation for you. In the fellowship of AA we have a saying that if we place our emotional, spiritual and physical dependence on God, we will always be taken care of. I hope this helps a little.
Watch a funny show so you laugh out loud. Seriously, it's great for your health....not to mention you need to keep those smile muscles in shape!
Hugs and happy thoughts coming your way.
Anniego

Thank you, Katheryn. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

(((des)))) Sorry you had to leave chat when I entered... but here are some words of encouragement... depression tells us lies and all that you are feeling isn't as bad as it feels right now. Things will feel better... try to distract yourself from these thoughts and events... and wait for the light to shine again.

Oh, Tal........you are incredible.........thank you very much for your wonderful insight and caring.

Part of my brain can decifer some of the irrational thoughts; however, the other "stronger", "evil" part undermines the former.

I will think of you & try my very best to thought-stop & repeat the first line, my dear friend.

Lots of love & hugs.

Be well, Tal & happy Friday.

Desy xo

Mamazangel, you did make me feel better, thank you. I feel less rejected, less insignificant (is that grammatically correct? Oh who cares).

(((((((((((Mamaz))))))))))))

Take care.

Pat, your post uplifted me....thanks so much. I may just take you up on your PM offer....ty.

I hope you are feeling better, too.

Des

You just did, ECHOES.

((((((((hugs, to you, too))))))))

Thank you.

Des

Hi Anniego

I don't think I have "met" you -- thank you for reaching out.

My feelings of rejection are deep-seeded. I am also extremely sensitive, but I do need a T to help sort things out. I logically understand that it is self-sabotage to give others the power of my own well-being, feelings & use others' reaction to me as a yardstick for my self-esteem, but I just somehow really, really struggle w/ putting that idea into practice.

You did help -- and so did some friends tonight. Thanks again.

Des

Sky, those are beautiful words.

It reminded me of a good friend who recently told me that, "the mind has a thousand eyes, while the heart only has one". I personally think my mind has about a million, but I will try to do the work to mend my heart & trust that.

I will try to get out more tomorrow.......will try.......to distract myself.

Thank you.

Des

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DESSY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

hey i love you so much. hate to see you hurting des, im sending you such a big big warm feeling hug. please hang in there, you know i am here if you need me. i will listen, you can cry on my shoulder.

love kerry xoxoxoxox

Thanks, Jin........just knowing you care makes me feel a whole lot better.

(((((((((((((((((((((Jin))))))))))))))))))))))

You can cry on my shoulder, too.......we can share a box of kleenex.

Love you too, my dear friend.

Desy xo

((((((((dessy))))))))))

You are such a special individual....I have loved and enjoyed every opportunity we've had to chat. My goes out to you and hopes to warm your heart at least a little bit to push away the pain.

Be as good to yourself as you are to others....

Hugssssss
J

((((((((((((((( desperado )))))))))))))))