[whiteroses40]

Dear Friends,

I'm panicked and confused. I can't seem to get past this feeling. I work at a location where the company plans on closing its doors for good. I'm one of their top talent and was offered a job out of state at another location. My husband thought that it would be a great opportunity since I liked working for the company so much. Hesitant I accepted the offer. Sounds great so far. Here is the clincher, I have three kids ages 21, 20 and 19. Neither of them want to move with me and want to stay in the state in which they were raised. This is were panic struck me. I feel that they are not ready to be on their own and yet I've accepted this job out of state. My fear is that my husband and I won't be near them when they need us the most. I'm scared that they will go hungry, may be homeless, may have an accident, need emotional support, etc. Yet my husband doesn't seem that concerned. I'm so scared for them that my brain has short circuited and I'm left utterly stuck and in a state of panic. I love my job and we could use the money and my husband wants a change all great things but I worry about my kids. I need some solid wisdom that will help me put into perspective my life as I'm utterly stuck in my own head. I've had several meltdowns and haven't been able to sleep through out the night for three weeks now. This is unbearable.

[Travelinglady]

Dear one, we need to let go of our kids at some point. Yes, to us they will always be babies, but each one of your children is now a legal adult. They could all very well be away from home, going to college or whatever. My two guys are 21 and 20 and are both doing well away from home. I haven't seen one of them since August. They do check in every so often, though, and I am pleased with their maturity.

My advice: Follow your husband's lead, move, enjoy your new job and location, and trust that they will be okay.

[optimize990h]

What do your kids think about this situation? Are they encouraging to you with this opportunity? Can they manage by themselves? Your husband is going with you?, if you decide that this is the right decision.

It sounds like you assumed your kids would move with you. Right now, you may be undergoing a potential loss situation. Grieving over the loss of your role as a parents perhaps. I am just suggesting this ideas to help you process the scenario and clarify any other facts that relates to the issue.

It is time..

[whiteroses40]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Dear one, we need to let go of our kids at some point. Yes, to us they will always be babies, but each one of your children is now a legal adult. They could all very well be away from home, going to college or whatever. My two guys are 21 and 20 and are both doing well away from home. I haven't seen one of them since August. They do check in every so often, though, and I am pleased with their maturity.

My advice: Follow your husband's lead, move, enjoy your new job and location, and trust that they will be okay.

Its so hard. I love them so much i feel like im abandoning them. What kind of mother am i for doing this ? Logically i know that they will move away and leave me behind someday but this is breaking my heart

[whiteroses40]

Originally Posted by optimize990h

What do your kids think about this situation? Are they encouraging to you with this opportunity? Can they manage by themselves? Your husband is going with you?, if you decide that this is the right decision.

It sounds like you assumed your kids would move with you. Right now, you may be undergoing a potential loss situation. Grieving over the loss of your role as a parents perhaps. I am just suggesting this ideas to help you process the scenario and clarify any other facts that relates to the issue.

All of you are such great folks any time i have a melt down i get the best insight from this group.

[~Christina]

The funny things about children is .. they indeed grown up and they will move away or you will move away. You will be a phone call away if they need you. My Daughter, almost 22 years old moved 3 states away almost 2 years ago. I thought I was going to wither up and blow away.. I am still here , I miss her daily ..but this was her decision as an adult. Her love for me hasn't changed it has evolved, shes doesn't need me to tie her shoes anymore... she needs me just as much, but in different ways.

Enjoy this new chapter of life .

[whiteroses40]

Thank you Christina.