i hate my mother for all the things that she used to do to me as a child. i hate my father for the same reasons. i hate my dad because he does not respect my mother or me and i have come to not respect my mother. i hate my mom for hitting me with a flyswatter when i was a kid, for making a fool out of me in school, for making me scream and letting the entire neighborhood hear me. i was often bullied simply because of all the hate. i still have the tendency to seek revenge on some of my old enemies who are far away from me now and if i ever get into college i wouldn't want them to be around me. i have no respect for those who disrespect me. if they can't be nice to me, don't expect me to be nice in return.
for some reason everybody thinks i'm better than those guys. they think that i should not stoop to their level. well when people are testing your patience level and you feel as though they are pushing you over the edge and you don't know what to do next, you start panicking and sometimes you just want to go uggh i can't take this anymore.
all i can say in response is i am capable of being like those guys when they humiliate me. im no different from any other human being and should not be regarded as someone different.

[Travelinglady]

Do you perceive that people think you are different? How so? That you don't get mad or want to fight back?

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

i hate my mother for all the things that she used to do to me as a child. i hate my father for the same reasons. i hate my dad because he does not respect my mother or me and i have come to not respect my mother. i hate my mom for hitting me with a flyswatter when i was a kid, for making a fool out of me in school, for making me scream and letting the entire neighborhood hear me. i was often bullied simply because of all the hate. i still have the tendency to seek revenge on some of my old enemies who are far away from me now and if i ever get into college i wouldn't want them to be around me. i have no respect for those who disrespect me. if they can't be nice to me, don't expect me to be nice in return.
for some reason everybody thinks i'm better than those guys. they think that i should not stoop to their level. well when people are testing your patience level and you feel as though they are pushing you over the edge and you don't know what to do next, you start panicking and sometimes you just want to go uggh i can't take this anymore.
all i can say in response is i am capable of being like those guys when they humiliate me. im no different from any other human being and should not be regarded as someone different.

Hey heyitsme7! Sorry I did not reply earlier. Hope you n feel a bit better, I finally wrote something back to. You.

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Do you perceive that people think you are different? How so? That you don't get mad or want to fight back?

they think that i am much better than those guys when it comes to behaving that when i fight back they'll object. when others do it, they don't care. so it's almost as if i'm so much better than them in a way, but really i am no saint, so don't expect me to be perfect or close to perfect. i am prone to errors just like everybody else.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, I know you are human, so like everybody, you are prone to errors. Of course, I am, too.

[Leed]

I'm sorry you had such a terrible childhood. It sounds miserable. And I think I know what you mean. They THINK that you're better than them because you didn't want to fight back when they teased or bullied you. They thought that YOU thought that you were too good to fight them.

But you don't feel like that. We're all human. You probably thought at the time that you had no chance with at least 2 or 3 guys trying to fight you. No one would try that! LOL You had a good head on your shoulders.

Try not to worry about that anymore. We're all human. We all make mistakes, just as those guys do too. Let it go, and move on. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

to clear up some misconceptions, i actually did retaliate, but when i did, people just couldn't believe that i did and they advised me not to and all that stuff, but when those guys did it, it was acceptable no matter what. so i thought, why not? i'm not less of a human, so yeah.

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm sorry you had such a terrible childhood. It sounds miserable. And I think I know what you mean. They THINK that you're better than them because you didn't want to fight back when they teased or bullied you. They thought that YOU thought that you were too good to fight them.

But you don't feel like that. We're all human. You probably thought at the time that you had no chance with at least 2 or 3 guys trying to fight you. No one would try that! LOL You had a good head on your shoulders.

Try not to worry about that anymore. We're all human. We all make mistakes, just as those guys do too. Let it go, and move on. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

there's one thing i don't like and that's when people pray for me. things seem to get worse after that. i don't think i can be helped.