Scare

I have manic depression. I'm tired of living. I just want to go home.
I haven't had a mammogram in 10 years, per the insistence, several calls to me, I finally had one! Lucky me got a call to come back for a second mammogram of my right breast and a possible ultrasound. Yay! I got to have an ultrasound because they found a mass in my breast. Just met with a surgeon and found out that between 1-5, I have a 4 chance of it being cancer. I get a biopsy in 3 weeks. Could explain my weight loss, changes in appetite, and taste. I can't stand coffee any more after drinking it for 38 year, I can't drink sodas any more, taste is off, and most foods have lost their taste. It old be the Nutrasystem I started on, or is it something else? I guess I'll find out in 3 weeks. The *** is deep inside my breast, it couldn't be felt during my monthly checks. I have lumpy breasts so the doctor said even if it was lose to the surface I might have missed it! Just call me Lumpy!! Haha!! I'm keeping a sense of humor, and trying to stay positive. But just in case, I'm checking out wigs and head scarves, and turbans. A different look for every day!! Cool!! My p-doc is worried about me - he is stressing I stay positive and not fall into depression. I'm to call him when ever I need him. He's pretty awesome!! I love the guy!! He's honest and pulls no punches! But I'm going through my stuff - cleaning house Justin case! It's just stuff!! Right?

Aren't they nice, making you wait three weeks for the biopsy? Then who know how long for the results. Grrreat!!!
Life can sure turn extra-lousy ... I'd be optimistic about it because I just always expect things to turn out well (& am amazed if they don't).
I'd be detoxing my body, juicing, reading up on nutrition, taking up yoga if you don't do it already, finding a good massage therapist--generally getting my body in great shape.
The stuff in the house can wait. Take best care of wonderful you, right now, BashfullOne.
roadie