Feedback Please

First of all stop putting yourself down. You called yourself a horrible person and a scumbag. Would you ever walk up to a complete stranger and say those things. I seriously doubt it, so why do it to yourself? We have to live with ourselves 24/7 and while we can't control what others say or do to us. We have complete control on how we treat ourselves. You need to respect yourself, be kind to yourself and most of all be a friend yourself.
And as for as feeling guilty for not answering your door to your rude neighbor, so what. You can't change it now its in the past. Im sure if he needed help he found assistance elsewhere. You said he ignored you when you tried to be friendly. So excessively ringing your doorbell could be an indicator that he wanted to complain about something.
I suggest you set one goal for yourself today. So crawl out of bed and force yourself to get a quick shower. I guarantee it will help you feel better. Then everyday write one thing your grateful for. I know you think your so depressed you cant think of one thing. But you can, I know you must be grateful for psychcentral.
One more thing are you on medication to balance your moods?
Best wishes

There is always 911 and everybody knows the elderly couple on the corner is always home.

Calling 911 is more than a lot of people would do!

Pipes, I'm on tons of meds. Thanks for the feedback. Yes, PC is my sanctuary. I'm grateful for everyone here.

Do you have a bike?

So, maybe you're more useful to society than you think.

I used to be very useful. Then I broke.

That's OK Permanent Pajamas. You're not a tool, you're a person. You don't have to be useful all the time. Perhaps it is time for someone to help you, instead, and return the favour.

I must be the BIGGEST tool ever...I do not like it at all when people pop by unannounced. It bothers me. Especially if I am feeling nervous or anxious.

- I disconnected the doorbell. I cannot stand the sound of it. It's very jarring.

- I also have a very specific ring on my phones, and I turn my phone ringer off as soon as I leave the office. I can see the blinking light so if someone calls, I am aware. If I am asleep, the phone ringer is definitely OFF.

- I do not answer the door if I am not expecting the person.

In my previous situations, I lived in very quiet, residential neighborhoods. Unfamiliar cars could be spotted a mile away. In fact, street parking was quite unusual. And there was no reason anyone would come by unannounced (simply based on manners alone).

I currently live in a beach city crammed with apartments and single family dwellings. I learned through experience that if I leave my door open, for some reason, people seem to take it to mean that they are invited to pop by whenever, for whatever reason Also, I ended up becoming the neighborhood pet sitter, so I put the brakes on that, as well.

Mostly, I don't answer because I don't want to be bothered. Unless someone is screaming or calling for help. Then, of course, I will make myself available either in person or by calling 911.

I don't answer the door if I am home alone. I have a phone, if someone wants to talk to me they can call me on the phone. If your neighbor needed something, why could he not call you? And if you didn't answer, he could have left a note, even in your mail box if it was important.

You don't need to ever feel guilty if you don't answer your door, even if it is a neighbor. That is your domaine, you have the right to make it as safe as "you" need it to be, with no guilt.

I have also learned to disconnect the doorbell! The only day of the year that had been connected was Halloween. Even though I knew it was coming, it still irritated me. My thoughtful husband either sits outside giving candy out or the front door is left open.

I do not like Halloween. Even when my kids were small, I did not go to random stranger's houses. Keep in mind this is a very small rural town, there is no danger of razor blades or poison. I just have never liked going to someone else's house. Ever now that I think about it (except very close family and friends). I took my kids to immediate family members only. OK, so in my hometown that was everyone. I really like it that our villiage has a strict trick or treat time. We within a block of the elementary school so we're hit pretty hard. But at 6:00 the lights go out.

I know what you're saying about leaving your door open. Just because I want to let some air into my house doesn't mean I want you in it! Perhaps that is why I am so fond of my dogs. I would never keep a dog that would hurt anyone, but her presence is enough of a deterrent. Strangers are afraid of her.

i'd be torn between what to do,

on 1 hand i'd probably go to the door and ask what they wanted, because i like to try and be helpful when i can- but on the other.. this person ignores you, never waves to you, speaks to you, why should you help them?