[emilycokey]

Ok so I'm 16, almost 17, year old girl. For the past 3 months I have been having unwanted thoughts about girls. I have found myself more exposed to all of this gay/lesbian material lately through media (tv, music, books) and its practically all I see now and it bothers me so much. I'm in nursing program and ever since I took a girl's apical pulse (on chest), I have been having weird feelings (like as soon as i took it I went into an immediate panic attack and had to leave school because it was that bad). It's now really awkward when I see her, and we were friends. Since then I have been afraid to leave my house, go out with my friends, or watch movies with pretty actresses in them. I have always been attracted to guys but I have been single most of my life (never had first kiss yet), but now that feeling is weakening and Im freaking out over it! I'm terrified of becoming homosexual and I really dont want to live like that. I have always pictured myself with a husband in the future but I really dont see anyone anymore. I am also terrified to even go into a relationship! I am pretty sure I have social anxiety but ever since the class I have been thinking these thoughts over and over again and they just won't leave! I have asked questions like this on Yahoo Answers saying that I am straight and not to worry but when my feelings come back I am not too sure. I am really scared to tell my parents about going to a psychiatrist because they will probably say its just a phase and such. I really want this to stop... Can someone help me please?

[Maven]

Well, first of all, you shouldn't define your worth by being in a relationship with anyone, male or female. You should know you can be a completely worthy and happy person without depending on someone else to make you that way.

I really think you need to talk to a wide array of people, gay and straight, because your attitude and fears about being gay are overkill. What if you're gay or bisexual? So what? You can have a loving relationship and have children. Lots of people have plans for their lives when they're young, but life often doesn't turn out the way we planned.

Being "exposed to all of this gay/lesbian material lately through media" will not make you gay. If you're having feelings that you are gay or bisexual, then you need to examine yourself and what you believe. A psychiatrist can't make you not gay. Being gay isn't a mental illness. It's also not a choice. That doesn't mean a psychiatrist can't help you through your anxieties.

I hope others reply, because there are others here who have had experiences like yours who can relate to you.

[LovelaceF]

Having a feeling doesn't define who you are. You can feel angry without being an angry person. You can feel dumb, without being a dumb person. Your feelings are not something that you should be afraid of, it's your actions that matter. Please be kind to yourself. There is plenty of time for you to figure out who you are and these feelings don't mean that you're never going to have a husband and kids.

[thickntired]

I had a long history of relations with women and men. I never felt comfortable coming out against society, so I felt it was unfair to women I loved. I was ashamed or head over heels which led to a nervous breakdown. Being with the same sex is in my opinion emotionally exhausting. Today I'm married to a great man although I cheated on him once with a girl. I still struggle with my sexual identity, but I would never leave my husband. He is my rock.

TnT

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by emilycokey

Ok so I'm 16, almost 17, year old girl. For the past 3 months I have been having unwanted thoughts about girls.

Are the rest of your thoughts wanted?

Originally Posted by emilycokey

I'm in nursing program and ever since I took a girl's apical pulse (on chest), I have been having weird feelings (like as soon as i took it I went into an immediate panic attack and had to leave school because it was that bad).

if you get anxious so easily, then the career of nursing might not be right for you.

I do not see any issues with sexuality, and orientation is not even defined for everybody at your young age, but I do see an issue with the choice of occupation. I am not in the medical profession, but my understanding has always been that being in the medical profession requires presence of mind, high speed of reaction, and many other qualities incompatible with anxiety. Maybe you should seek advice from older people who are in the medical field to verify that you are on the right track.

Originally Posted by emilycokey

I have been single most of my life

Most people your age have been single for most of their lives. Nothing unusual about you, personally.

Originally Posted by emilycokey

I have always pictured myself with a husband in the future

When I was three, I wanted to be a taxi driver, but when I grew up, I changed my mind and my direction following skills are quite mediocre. Not everything that you picture when you are young would come true. It does not mean that you are a lesbian, it just means that you should re-assess your expectations periodically as you go through your life.

Originally Posted by emilycokey

I am pretty sure I have social anxiety

it does seem likely and, again, this would be incompatible with being a professional nurse

Originally Posted by emilycokey

I have asked questions like this on Yahoo Answers saying that I am straight

Yahoo Answers are a very helpful service overall, but it is not set up to determine your sexual orientation. It just does not have this capability.

[BeeKeeper]

Hi Emily,
Don't over think this. You're young, you have a lot of life ahead of you to work through stuff.

Hamster has a point though- you may want to re-think nursing if you have trouble with social anxiety and are not ready for treatment. More importantly, you shouldn't be afraid to get help to work through that anxiety. Maybe go to your school counselor first, and s/he can help you find a therapist that can help you learn to accept who you are and work through whatever questions you have about yourself.

And, for the record, plenty of people have extremely happy, fulfilling marriages and lives with someone of the same sex.

Take care of yourself
-Bee

[hamster-bamster]

Emily,

I thought more about it.

It is clear that nursing and getting anxious so easily is incompatible.

You need to find out if your anxiety problems can be solved fully.

If the answer is NO, you should not waste time and money on nursing.

You need to switch to being in a crisis mode until you either stop anxiety or change the course of your training.

When you function in a crisis mode, you stop running all optional processes.

I learned the word sexual orientation in college. Not earlier. My experience proves. That knowing your sexual orientation at sixteen is optional.

Presence of mind is not optional if you want to be a nurse.