Back to normality...

Well, as some of you may know, ive haad the last couple of weeks off work due to an injury i have on my right shoulder. well its my first day back on thursday and in the last couple of weeks ive really worked on myself, mending a few damaged goods. but im dreading going back because i know that once i go back there, and am surrounded by those people it will slowly but surely destroy the work ive been doing. i cant get any stimulating conversations off anyone in there and i dont have much in common with people, they are all too shallow and engrossed in their own little world, and for me to be around people like that brings me down and i quickly become unhappy again, ruining all the work i have done in the last fortnight.

my interests and hobbies dont interest ANYONE in work so i dont talk about them, ive learnt not to because when i mention my music etc they are quick to try and put me down for it and destroy my positivity, so i tend to keep it away from them. and because i dont talk about them much (except necessary things!), i have to listen to what other people talk about, which is 90% of the time about their sex lives, 5% how much they love themselves, and the remaining 5% is all their "problems", like the fact they havent spoken to their partner for half a day...and in some cases they cry about things like that.

so because of all this negativity, by the time the working day is over and i get home, i feel like s**t and dont want to do anything. its really destroying me in there, but i cant leave because im trying to focus on my music and i need the regular income, its not so easy to just quit a job.

in the last fortnight i have been working really hard on myself, and i feel so much better for it. i have actually enjoyed the last couple of weeks (apart from my really bad days, in which i spoke of on here), but apart from that i feel it has done me SOOOOO much good, i often think "why should i go back there and be destroyed like that"...for instance, my manager doesnt believe me that i have an injury, and last week when i spoke to her (to tell her i have been signed off by my doctor) she said "well you cant just take time off when you feel like it, this is YOUR job") i mean, why would i lie about it, it makes me angry because she doesnt respect me nor trust me to believe the fact that i have got this injury...how immature of her isnt it.

comin here, to PC and seeing so many people have in-depth conversations and speaking to such genuine, friendly, caring people has helped loads too, i think you are all great and i wish i could have such interesting people around me all day everyday, i need that kind of thing to stimulate my mind because i am such a complex, deep person, and shallow conversations just go straight over my head.

has anyone got any advice for me, apart from "leave that place" hehe. i will appreciate any help on this.

Simon,

Perhaps work will be easier because you now have us. Believe me, PC has kept me sane many times when I thought I was going to lose it for sure.

I wish you the very best.

Jan

Hi Simon

I agree with January. When you have support (in whatever form) it can get you through the toughest times. I am sorry that you have to deal with such negativity everday at work. I can relate to your not relating to the people you work with, and I think it's because you have far greater insights and are more sensitive than your co-workers.(A good thing, in my opinion!) I know you asked for suggestions other than "leave that place" , so I am not going to say it. I think it would make things easier though if you can think to yourself that this isn't a forever situation, it's just a job that you happen to have now. (It doesn't mean you will be there forever )

I have a friend who was in the same type of situation. He dreaded going to his job everyday because he did not relate to the people there at all. He also had a very negative boss, and he also had an injury that kept him from working (he had a leg injury). His boss and her assistant were much as you describe your boss to be-they told him he couldn't just take off work when he felt like it, and he had responsibilites. (He had a doctor's note and everything!) Well this was kind of a final straw for him. He didn't quit his job right away, he looked around and eventually found a place willing to hire him, and he quit his other job. He is now in a job where he has made plenty of friends that he relates to, and they hang out outside of work all the time. Of course he still gets stressed out every now and then with his new job, but he is far happier and more relaxed than I've ever seen him. I don't mean to go on and on, I just wanted you to know that there is hope, I have witnessed it firsthand!

Best Wishes,
Sujin

hehe thanks sujin.

i went to the doctors today, still having trouble in my shoulder. ive been signed off for another week, which in a way is a relief but i know i will get alot of grief from my manager in the morning when i go back.

i am glad i have another week off, just so i can continue working on myself, as i said before, i am feeling better for it already, and i think having this 3rd week off will be more helpful for both my shoulder, and more importantly, my mental state.

i am considering looking for another job, i think once my shoulders better i can start driving lessons, then when i pass my test it will give me more independance so i can find a better job then.

wish me luck for the morning for when i speak to my manager, i think i need it hehe. i will let you know how everything goes tomorow.

speak soon

Although I'm sure you won't need it, Simon. I think everything will work out fine!

I'll be thinking of you, and wishing you the best!

Sujin

well i spoke to my manager, she was surprisingly nice about it, i think she realises that after 3 weeks off, i have got a genuine problem with my shoulder. i have to go into work today to see the company doctor and i asked my manager if she wants me to go see her so we can chat properly about my shoulder. im not dreading it anymore after her nice attitude towards me earlier today.

will let you know how that goes later. speak soon