and now i am 35. I am serious in real life, i really am, but everyone just sees me as a kid and eventually they work out that i can be walked all over.

i don't think anybody takes me seriously and i certainly don't take myself seriously.

I would like to be a man who dresses well, has a job, wears a watch, has discussions and can socialise and laugh. someone who drives a car and has friends and who people are glad to see.

In stead really i'm just a spider in the corner and i live with my parents and i wear trash and i don't have a watch or a car anymore and i have social anxiety disorder so i don't socialise, and my hair has always sucked and i don't have a job either.

In other words i suck and everything sucks.

[shezbut]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so crummy about yourself and things that you haven't accomplished yet.

Some days we really minimize the things that we have accomplished.

Hey I.T.
Listen I know how difficult it can be.
But don't put yourself down.
When I used to go to 12 step meetings
a woman once told me this
"Don't go comparing your insides, to other people's outsides"
I never forgot it.
Now I feel that there is nothing wrong with living with ones parents.
Hey if your ever out & chatting with someone you can say that you have
"Roommates"(I'm using air quotes lol)
Because I know that out in the World there is a certain stigma to be living at
home beyond a certain age. But look at it this way you sure can save money until
your ready to get your own apartment! I envy you. Because living in your own apt SUCKS! Rent gets raised, you have to worry about re-signing a lease, and then there are those TENANTS which can get on your LAST nerve.
Being at home will give you plenty of time to figure out what you want to do.
And if there are some things you'd to change? Make a list then take little baby steps to do them.
For me? I want to lose some weight so I'm exercising at least 15 minutes a day, I went to a nutritionist at my local clinic & watching what I eat.
I don't know if you'd want to go the therapist route but it might help you get over the self esteem barriers. It's your decision.
But its not too late to change.
But start liking who you are now, then work from there.
You can do it.
And like I said to another member on here who is struggling with the same thing and I suggested that she buy some affirmation CD's.
They are great.
You'll be alright.
Start saying to yourself
"I'm Okay"
Practice everyday until after awhile?
You'll get used to it & begin to believe it!

[also_depr]

You are not wearing a t-shirt where it says: "I live with my parents and I am 35." When people meet you, they don't know much about you. They'll have some impression of you, but not that won't be too accurate or embrace all aspects of your life.

Indeed, a part of your problem can be easily solved. I don't see how you cannot buy a clock. If you manage to work just a little, you'll get the money to buy a Timex (which look acceptable in many cases).

In the same way, if you work a little, you'll be able to rent a car for a weekend. It will make you feel better, but such things won't change your life, of course. But, if that's what you wish, give it a try. You'll be able to travel around and see something new.

The same applies to clothes.

Obviously, you'll need working a little bit on your social anxiety.

[hamster-bamster]

Are watches still de rigueur?

Even with the ubiquity of cell phones?

I just do not know. Maybe the watch can be taken off the list.

[avlady]

I feel awful for you, you don't need to do this to yourself. I hated myself as a teenager, but time flies, i'm 52 now, have been through it all, and came out ok on the other side, I believe myself. Had many days of self hatred, until I got meds to help me cope. I even tried suicide as a teenager too, that luckily didn't work, as now I am at a happy part of my life I would have not known if I had killed myself. Things can get better, but you need to start to believe in yourself, with some help of others. Let a friend or family know how you feel, they may empathise, and be able to help you too. I hope and pray you will get the help you need.

As someone who has a spotty job history and who didn't get a driver's license until recently (I'm 48) I totally sympathize with your feelings. About 10 years ago, when I was in your age range, IT, I had a marriage fall apart and made the mistake of moving in with my mother until an apartment opened up. She absolutely made me play the child role while I lived in her house. I was given chores to do, and my work was inspected. I was told what time to go to bed, called awake in the morning, and allowed to eat only what my mother shopped for and cooked. Worst of all, she lived (still does) in the middle of nowhere and took advantage of the fact that I couldn't drive to basically hold me hostage. There was no transit system in that little you-blink-you-miss-it, tiny dot on a state road map, of a town. I couldn't go anywhere that she didn't take me, so if she didn't want to go, I was stuck. Imagine how competent and respectable that made me feel.

I am now happily married. My husband has done his best to see that I will be financially protected, if God forbid something should happen to him. But let me guarantee you that if the unthinkable happens, and I am ever again in a position of having nowhere to go, I will live in a homeless camp before I'd move in with my mother again. At least that way I'd have more freedom.

[Trippin2.0]

I'm quite the opposite I.T.
I'm sick and tired of being a responsible adult. Been doing it for 10 years and I'm over it, sick of bills, and school fees and the amount of responsibility that NEVER leaves my tiny shoulders.

So much so, that I put in 2 weeks leave at work because 1: I was about to quit and 2: I need a break from being an adult.

Being a grown up is not as exciting as tv made it seem while we're teenagers.

That being said, there's some good advice above, smart small and work your way up.