How much stock to you put on...

Flinty, don't take exception to it! My late/ex father in law used to call my mother in law that! That used to be a sign of high respect in the old days. M'am is short for madam. Like "yes, ma'am" and "no ma'am", "thank you, ma'am". Good manners!

LOL Guilty!! But only sometimes! YOU? Never!

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like when a waitress or cashier calls me "hon"

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YES! It's condesending!!

like when a waitress or cashier calls me "hon"

Maybe I'm weird but when a waitress or cashier called me hon or dear or sweetie, what comes in my mind is that this person is very nice and that even with his/her heavy work load he/she remains nice.

If in real world someone looks at me from head to toe and then from head to toe and called me sweetie or hon, this is a different story. He is taking me for a piece of meat. His words means sex.

Online when I read these words I have different reactions to it and I have to say it depends on who it's coming from. If I know this person a bit I will take it as this person is very considerate and I will surely appreciate his/her gentleness, his/her caring. But coming form a person that I don't know I will have to analyse these words first and then I will see. (Trust issues).

Like I said before, I use these words often myself but I will never use it if I don't really care for this person. For me it is a sign of gentleness and caring and that's how I use these words. I will never use these words to gain something or play games with people's feelings.