[Otter63]

I've been wanting to volunteer or find a hobby or something useful to do with my time since I've been on disability.

I signed up to do meals on wheals and now I have to fill out a form that asks if I've ever been arrested, convicted etc

Twenty years ago my husband and I got into a physical fight and I called the police. He was very drunk and I hit him on the shoulder because he was tearing up the couch. He started choking me and I begged him to stop. When the cops came they took me to jail because I admitted that I hit him first.

The charges were dropped and I was going to have it expunged but I never did. What do I do on this form? Any ideas?

[kaliope]

I would check off that you had been arrested but include an explanation as you have done here.

[Otter63]

I guess I'm worried that they won't use me. I'm tempted to just not report it and see what happens.

[Otter63]

I hate having all these skeletons in my closet (this and mental illness). I'm all stressed out about this.

[shezbut]

I think that being honest is the right way to go. You can always explain the circumstances, just like you did here. I think that it will be okay. I worry that if you were to hide it, that wouldn't look good at all.

[gayleggg]

I agree. The truth is the way to go. A lot of places run background checks now and you wouldn't want them to catch you in a lie. Good luck.
Gayle

Since this happened 20 yrs ago they shouldn't hold that against you! I agree with the above statements. Telling the truth is always the very best policy! You are a good person for wanting to help with Meals on Wheels. Bless you for that!

[Otter63]

Thank you for your replies. Thank you Cracking for saying I'm a good person. I needed to hear that

[Jeans and a T-Shirt]

I'm in a similar situation right now with my process to become a minister, and the denomination I'm with is particularly intense with "screening" (to put it nicely.) For what it's worth, it's always very scary when my own skeleton comes up, but in the end, there's also a strange relief that it's at least out there, and I'm not juggling another ball in the air with every new piece of paperwork. Most importantly, I think you're very strong to take this new venture on, and I truly hope that "checking the box" for your skeleton (if it even comes up) might even prove to be a healing stepping stone. Stay strong, friend!
JTS

[henrydavidtherobot]

I hope that you can still work there. If not, there are other places to volunteer. Also, have you checked into your community to see what things there are to do?

[Otter63]

Thank you Jeans and Henry

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Otter63

I guess I'm worried that they won't use me. I'm tempted to just not report it and see what happens.

You're better off admitting it and being honest. It was a long time ago, it was domestic, and nothing has happened since. That plus the honesty makes you pretty trustworthy.

Then again, are they allowed to ask that?

Otter63...you likely can look up online the disposition of your prior case via the clerk of court. PM me if you want a more detailed explanation. x

[spondiferous]

Yeah, if there's a chance that something could show up it's better to mention it. You were the victim in that situation. You don't deserve the legal ramifications of what happened. I hear ya about having a whole bunch of stuff lurking in the background. I never know what to tell people especially when there's questions like 'Is there anything preventing you from performing the duties to the best of your abilities?' I can't very well say 'Well for the most part I'm fine but there's a chance I might snap and start seeing things and hyperventilate and need someone to carry me out of the office, at which point I may never be able to come back and even if I do I will probably call in sick all the time because I can't trust reality and I think everyone is an alien.'
Just do the best you can. You don't owe any explanations. But when it comes to things like criminal background, yeah. Mention if you think something might show up.
Besides...I've had this explained to me before...just because you have something doesn't mean you won't get hired. They take it case by case.

[sabby]

I totally agree with being honest about the charge. If you don't and they do a background check, even if it comes up that the charge was dropped, you are then looked at as a liar or at the very least, untruthful and that would probably ruin your chances of getting this position more so than being truthful.

Explaining that this was a volatile situation with your h 20 years ago and that you have grown and matured and learned from the experience and have never had another issue like that since will go much further than to lie and not mention it.

Wishing you well and good luck!

[healingme4me]

I agree with being honest, because with what it the reality of what you mentioned, they can accept that you were....

Arrested but NOT Convicted, due to a domestic incident with your husband 20 years ago.

Most of these places and programs will run a police check, as it is. No convictions, is a GOOD THING!!! It was domestic, it will be verified, along with the story, included, if they dig that far back, but if you withhold, they find it, turning the other cheek may never actually happen.

Hope all goes well

[Otter63]

Thanks all. I went with y'all's advice and told the truth. Now I just need to get it in the mailbox-such a procrastinator!

[Otter63]

I was approved!! You folks give good advice