[WorkInProgress16]

Last night I was trying to help my best friend understand my mental disorders and the abuse I suffered. She told me that they seem to be an addiction to me and she's right. I've become addicted to the sadness of depression, the habits of my eating disorder, self harm. I have managed to become addicted to a medical condition. I feel like I sound crazy but at the same time I know it's right

I just needed to get that out. Thanks

[Perna]

That does not make any sense to me; I don't think you can get addicted to the sadness of depression, you are already depressed, you can't get any sadder than you are sad? If you are saying you want to be sad, that doesn't make any sense either; people who use drugs initially want that feeling; I don't think you went seeking to be sad/depressed?

Depression is its own glue, it doesn't need addiction's help. Self-harm and eating disorders are like depression; they change your brain so you have a harder time getting free of them. But I don't think you are stuck being stuck; you can get help freeing yourself if you want. You are not unique, the only one to ever self harm, have an eating disorder or depression and many many others have recovered from such.

[WorkInProgress16]

I've heard of other people saying they're addicted to the sadness. I know it is possible to recover (just as it is possible to recover from an addiction) I just don't want to. A part of me almost enjoys the sickness but there are parts of it I can't stand. I did not go out seeking to feel this way but now that I am this way I find it near enjoyable. It's sick and twisted and I didn't expect people to understand but i needed to say it.