After having many experiences where the people who were supposed to have my best interests in mind basically played to the exact opposite- and these interests were regarding various aspects of my health- I have developed a significant aversion to health care providers in general. I call it an aversion, but it's closer to a feeling that they are more a threat than any kind of help. I know logically that is pretty ridiculous but you can't logic your way out of everything all the time. At the top of that list are neurologists, for some very specific reasons, which I won't discuss here.

But I had an appointment with a new neurologist this morning. It was not, objectively, the most horrible thing to endure in my entire life.
However, I pretty much never want to go back ever ever ever and feel the entire thing was a pretty degrading experience. Not entirely due to the fault of this specific neurologist, but likely due to the fault of all the crappy healthcare providers I have seen before him.
Which goes to support my theory that whenever we are reacting, we are likely reacting not only to now, but to everything that has ever happened to us up until now as well.

So... My morning was freaking lovely.
I'm going to crawl under a blanket for a bit and regroup.

...at least I found a place to swim?
Heh.

Grr.

[MotownJohnny]

I had an extraordinarily bad experience with a pdoc last year. I showed up telling her I wanted to improve my life and solve my problems, she decided that I was a danger to myself and ordered me to the psych ward. Since then, I have had the humiliation of telling other doctors about it. But, I made a decision it was on a need to know basis. I didn't tell the cardiologist, chiropractor, cardiologist, and I am completely comfortable with that. One key is to find really great doctors. I found a new psychiatrist who is the opposite, warm, caring, friendly, helpful, and very normal. Makes a world of difference.

[Gus1234U]

i totally 'get it', Josie... i have PTSD from so many bad experiences with docs, Pdocs, Therapists and other "Helpers"... gads, some days i feel like the square peg.... i have learned some defense mechanisms that seem to firm up my footing, tho:

i use the Federal Americans with Disabilities Act of 1992 to request accommodations, like tape recording the interview due to my "disability related memory impairments". that brings them up short. i also take in a written letter stating why i am there; what my current symptoms are; how that has changed recently (if relevant); what i want from them; and what i don't want from them.
i take a copy for them to sign saying they received it from me~!

gads, you would not believe the difference when they know they can be proven to have done or been told something~! how sad that it's come to this... but how GOOD that i have learned how to use my hammer.

if you (or anyone reading this) would like more information on how to request an accomodation (special treatment) under the provisions of the ADA, feel free to PM me.

best wishes~
Gus

[rapid cyclist]

Wow, Gus, that sounds like a great idea. I'm fine with my p doc, but other doctors tend to make me feel very defensive. I imagine them wondering why I'm there taking up their time when they could be seeing other patients with bigger problems. Needless to say, I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank the moment they step into the exam room. Your strategies could really help.

Yes, I agree, Josie. I recognize that a big piece of the dynamic is that I've been primed by past experiences to expect the worst, so new doctors are bound to live down to my low expectations!

Originally Posted by rapid cyclist

...
Yes, I agree, Josie. I recognize that a big piece of the dynamic is that I've been primed by past experiences to expect the worst, so new doctors are bound to live down to my low expectations!

That's a pretty firing way to put it