[SeptemberMorn]

I’ve learned that if I place the blame for everything that goes wrong on myself, I am being self-important and arrogant and giving myself much more power than I truly have.

I’ve learned that if I place the blame elsewhere consistently, then I’m giving away my power.

I’ve learned the difference between sympathy and empathy. If I sympathize with someone, I’m jumping into the same dark hole they are in and therefore, stuck in their negative feelings with them. If I empathize with them, I understand how they are feeling and offer a hand up out of the dark hole.

I’ve learned that accusing someone never works. (“You said... you did...”) I need to take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings and actions, deal with them, and if the other person doesn’t want to do the same for themselves, then so be it. I can’t take on their responsibilities. If I do, I enable them to continue being dysfunctional.

I’ve learned that apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness.

I’ve learned that tears are necessary, healing and cleansing. So is laughter.

I’ve learned that when someone gives me constructive criticism, regardless of how I feel at the time, I need to think about it first, check my behavior to see if indeed I am guilty of what was said to me. I am brutally honest with myself. The only way I can become the best that I can be, is to be truthful with myself. If, indeed, the criticism was true, I set about changing my behavior.

I’ve learned that the more I try to control a situation or a person, the more out of my control it becomes. It’s like trying to hold on to a fistful of sand. The harder you squeeze, the quicker it slips through your fingers.

I’ve learned that the more I try to change a person, the more they become the monster I hate/fear.

I’ve learned that the only one I can control, the only one I can change is me.

I’ve learned that the better I get, the more some people hate me. The better I get, the more I lose some “friends.” On the flip side of that coin, the better I get, the more sincere, smarter, more mature friends I make.

I’ve learned that when I feel so sad, angry, hurt, abandoned, disappointed, etc., that I want to cry, scream, throw something, read someone out, eat till I puke, that it’s the eternal child within me that needs nurturing to the nth degree. No one knows how to nurture that child better than me. It’s time for me to turn off all the external, irritating intrusions and take care of my inner child. Turning on some soft music, maybe even crawling into bed and cuddling my cat or my teddy bear, or just letting the tears flow and the thoughts come will soon bring up what it is I’m needing. I attend to those needs post haste.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to give myself a hug.

[dexter]

>>I’ve learned that it’s okay to give myself a hug.

I hope it is okay for me to give you a hug too.

{{{{{{{{SeptemberMorn}}}}}}}}

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[Rapunzel]

Those are some good lessons. Thanks for sharing them with us.

[PlanningtoLive]

"Mom"................xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[(JD)]

good post.

I think if you try and eliminate the idea of "blame" from your thinking, and allow things to just happen, then those thoughts won't distress. We usually learn that "someone has to be at fault" from our family. It just ain't so.

Be well.

<font color=green>...I can misspeak like the best of us</font color=green>

[FearsomeAnna]

{{{{{{{{{{Toni}}}}}}}}}}}}

Those were some great lessons and I really needed to read those just now...been having issues there myself recently. That just made me feel a whole lot better - thanks!!

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[SeptemberMorn]

Of course it is, Dex! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dexter}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[SeptemberMorn]

Thanks!

[SeptemberMorn]

"Daughter" ...

[SeptemberMorn]

It's understood, isn't it, that I'm dealing strictly in extremes, right? Those two points were never meant to give the "whole lesson."

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Anna}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I've missed you. I'm glad that I could help just a tiny bit.

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome back, {{{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}} Good post, thanks for sharing!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good to be back and good to get your special hugs!

Love ya!