[ARainyDawn]

Possible triggers, also REALLY long. I'm saying this here because I won't say it to anyone else.

I think I'm completely mentally healthy and making a big deal out of nothing. On the other hand, I think I'm minimizing.What I do know is that I'm having a really hard time at home, at work and with interpersonal relationships in general.

My attention span is complete garbage. Sometimes people say things to me and I have no recollection of what they said. I thought it was memory, but when I got tested for ADHD they said I had a great memory but a bad attention span. I also don't have ADHD. So that's not the reason for the attention span problems I've become frustrated with over the years or the randomness when I'm talking to people.

I think my boss is trying to fire me. He's been out to get me from the beginning. The supervisors follow me sometimes, and look for mistakes I'm making. He scrutinizes every mistake I make more than everybody else. How do I know this? I can sense it. I can also tell when the supervisors are watching me. I feel like my co-workers are also making fun of me and looking down on me all the time. I feel like they're reporting to the supervisors. I also feel like the people on the bus are always talking about me. Nobody has actually said anything to me. This has ruined most of my relationships at work. I antagonize the boss and the supervisors. I isolate myself from my coworkers. I find myself feeling wronged, being angry with them and judging them over this stuff that might not be real.

My family is more patient because they think I'm "crazy". I've said a lot of the above to to them and I've gotten "I think you're actually losing your mind, get some help." They're also worried because I have conversations with myself out loud. I talk and answer myself with what I think another person might say. I've asked someone about that before and they said it's common among people who spend lots if time alone and not a cause for concern.

I don't have any friends. I don't care to have any. I don't trust people so I keep everyone at a safe distance. I spend all of my time outside of work, alone in my room. I've been waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes with nightmares about everybody scrutinizing me and telling me I do everything wrong. Other times I just wake up for no reason. I get these urges to self harm the way I used to when I was younger. I also think about dying several times a day. I'm not sad or down on myself though.

I'm really frustrated and I just want some answers about what is going on with me. Nobody else around me has these problems. I'm looking forward to that psychiatrist appointment.

[avlady]

Yes do see a pshyciatrist, i don't know much about all the things you may have but i'm sure a doc would be able to figure it out. Then you may have to go on meds to help you but it would be worth it in the long run. I hope you can get the help you need and please don't harm yourself anymore-I care!!!Lots of Love

[Travelinglady]

I do hope you can get some good professional aid. I can understand why you are "completely frustrated."

[shezbut]

I hope that you're able to get in to see a psychiatrist soon. Sounds like you have a lots of stress at work, but thankfully, a supportive family. Best wishes to you!

[Thorn Bird]

Originally Posted by ARainyDawn

Possible triggers, also REALLY long. I'm saying this here because I won't say it to anyone else.

I think I'm completely mentally healthy and making a big deal out of nothing. On the other hand, I think I'm minimizing.What I do know is that I'm having a really hard time at home, at work and with interpersonal relationships in general.

My attention span is complete garbage. Sometimes people say things to me and I have no recollection of what they said. I thought it was memory, but when I got tested for ADHD they said I had a great memory but a bad attention span. I also don't have ADHD. So that's not the reason for the attention span problems I've become frustrated with over the years or the randomness when I'm talking to people.

I think my boss is trying to fire me. He's been out to get me from the beginning. The supervisors follow me sometimes, and look for mistakes I'm making. He scrutinizes every mistake I make more than everybody else. How do I know this? I can sense it. I can also tell when the supervisors are watching me. I feel like my co-workers are also making fun of me and looking down on me all the time. I feel like they're reporting to the supervisors. I also feel like the people on the bus are always talking about me. Nobody has actually said anything to me. This has ruined most of my relationships at work. I antagonize the boss and the supervisors. I isolate myself from my coworkers. I find myself feeling wronged, being angry with them and judging them over this stuff that might not be real.

My family is more patient because they think I'm "crazy". I've said a lot of the above to to them and I've gotten "I think you're actually losing your mind, get some help." They're also worried because I have conversations with myself out loud. I talk and answer myself with what I think another person might say. I've asked someone about that before and they said it's common among people who spend lots if time alone and not a cause for concern.

I don't have any friends. I don't care to have any. I don't trust people so I keep everyone at a safe distance. I spend all of my time outside of work, alone in my room. I've been waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes with nightmares about everybody scrutinizing me and telling me I do everything wrong. Other times I just wake up for no reason. I get these urges to self harm the way I used to when I was younger. I also think about dying several times a day. I'm not sad or down on myself though.

I'm really frustrated and I just want some answers about what is going on with me. Nobody else around me has these problems. I'm looking forward to that psychiatrist appointment.

I am sure you are not crazy crazy people don't know they are!

[Skywoulf]

I am glad you said it here, because you were able to get it off of your chest. weather in "Reality" it is true or not, it IS real to you because YOU FEEL it. hang in there and stay strong, because like you I have also said a few things in here that I have never spoken of (because I finally said **** it! even tho I will get trashed, judged, ostracized, etc no one here really knows who I am so I am spared the worst of it. but it does kinda suck being known by your problems rather than who you are)).

[Thorn Bird]

Go and talk to someone - a Dr it sounds as if something is wrong and you must think so to to have written here on this site.

[Ghaperat]

I also don't have ADHD. So that's not the reason for the attention span problems I've become frustrated with over the years or the randomness when I'm talking to people