Just the way I am

I spend most of my time sitting at the computer because it's very comforting. I guess it's more of the control part that I like, it's not unpredictable. If it has a virus I get a security scan. If it gets broken I can send it to get fixed without trouble or new problems coming to light. I won't wake up one morning to find it's green and covered in vomit. It's the way I left it the before.

Unpredictable is scary, so is frowns, and being looked down. Screaming and loud noises.

The rest of my time is spent hanging with buddy P.O.D. who is some weird Asian looking demon guy with long hair. He has a very limited amount of facial expressions though so it's not the same as talking to another person. It's mainly worried or smiling. I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or a good thing to be haunted by something of this nature since I know very little about such things. If it even is a demon I just use that term because it does not always have a human face and does not always sound human, maybe alien would be a better term. It's skeletal structure is on the outside and sometimes becomes shiny dark purple. I don't find P.O.D. scary because one time I felt terrible after taking some kind of anti-depression pills my therapist had prescribed for me and I could not walk, talk or even tell the difference between the floor and the wall. I passed out on the couch and when I woke up P.O.D. was very panicked and used my cellphone to contact my parents to come home. I probably would have been worse off if my parents didn't show up. What I do find scary is the woman that follows P.O.D. I think her name is Sarah Freedman from what P.O.D. has told me she has some kind of hold over half his soul which is what keeps her alive in the undead world. She tortures him on a regular basis and they show up in my nightmares. She is very decayed and smells bad and wears a very ripped up white night slip. She's full of rage for revenge, I really don't like talking about her because it causes her to appear more often and with "friends". I mean there is nothing I can do, I can barely keep up with human work and studies. I'm also conflicted because Sarah says P.O.D. is really powerful and should not be free but she is a total HYPOCRYTE!!! She attacks everything and causes chaos herself. She even possessed my dad and created a huge fight in the kitchen which P.O.D. had to stop her. I mean P.O.D. had admitted he was not perfect and did a lot of awful things in the past because he did not want to die. Because of the way he looks people kept coming after him trying to kill him it was either fight or be slaughtered for looking different. It's so complicated.

Other times in my life I'm not that great with communication. I'm not the loud, want to be the center of attention person. I really don't have anything to talk about or have anything to start a conversation with. When I try I would most likely end up having a conversation for a full hour about the salt on the table. Things just don't roll in my head. Unless there is an object involved I just get out simple uh-huh, yeah, nope, and ok. I think it has a lot to do with school in 3rd grade on valentines day. Every student in my class got candy and mines was the only desk completely empty. For the first time I realized I am physically and mentally alone, even if you don't like me you still couldn't say I have an extra piece of candy in my bag want some? I couldn't understand how the teacher didn't see this as a serious problem either. I even took the time to give out candy even if I couldn't remember peoples names with their faces so I needed a little help. I don't know maybe I'm very off putting. I know I dress weird and don't keep up with the kardashions so a lot of groups of people I can't mingle with since we don't share the same interest. I've been asked well you talk with P.O.D. well but we don't talk at all. We just know what the other person is feeling from facial expressions.