[seeker1950]

My 56th birthday was this past weekend.
My daughter and her hubby visited here with two twins, not because of my b'day, but because my daughter had her high school reunion. I was so happy to have them here, giving her $100 up front to go buy groceries and such, as well as to cover cost of travel, etc. Then, when they got ready to leave on Sunday, I took them out to dinner at Olive Garden and enjoyed it immensely. No mention was made of my birthday, nor present, etc., but I don't mind that, just happy to see them all.
At school, two female teachers expressed aghast horror and indignation when they asked me if I was taken out to dinner, and I said, "NO, I paid for it." Also no presents.
I grew up receiving no acknowledgment of my birthday, and expect none. I was just happy to have the time with my daughter and twin grandsons.
They both said they would be angry and hurt. What's the point, I wonder, harboring resentment.
I did always celebrate my daughter's birthday while she was growing up, unlike what I didn't have, but I still don't expect anything.
Should I feel anger and resentment. I don't.
Patty

Well Patty-- can I ask--- Did you teach your daughter to celebrate your birthday? A lot of times once we're adults we act in the way we were taught-- could she be under the impression that you prefer to NOT celebrate your birthday?-- is that what she experienced growing up? If that's the case then I wouldn't be mad or upset with her-- but if it bothers you-- you could mention that you do like to have some acknowledgement of your birthday.... just so she will know for the future.

I think everyone should be celebrated on their birthday--
hope you don't mind me saying----
Happy Birthday Patty!!!

[(JD)]

This is quite thought provoking for me. I was always the implementer when it came to my own familie's parties... 2 sons and spouse... and I really thought they would learn by doing and also when I urged them to send cards to grandparents etc. HOWEVER it didn't turn out that way. No one IRL celebrates my birthday... I have come to address it as just another day IRL.

(NOW here at PC...they throw a party, but I think it's because some of them are party animals.)

Seeker? I don't see you listed on the calendar, so perhaps you didn't reveal your birthday DATE in your profile, so it didn't show up on DocJohn's list!

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Sky and Mandy...
Though my mother ignored my birthday while I was growing up (though she gave parties for my younger sister), she now sends cards and calls on my b'day, expecting me to make a big fuss over hers as well. I try to remember, and send a card and/or gift.
As for my recent visit with my daughter, I was just happy to have them here, and maybe she thought that was enough, knowing how difficult it is with both of them working and packing up everything with the twins to travel here.
You know, there are so many things about which one can fret, hold resentments, etc. I expect nothing, and I don't feel inclined to feel resentful about this.
Yeah, it is nice to celebrate a birthday. I've always acknowledged my daughter's birthday.
Love
Patty

[Rhapsody]

If YOU were HAPPY then let it go.................. and all will be fine with in you - and know that YOU are loved by your children.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Rhapsody...I agree...It's not an issue for me, and I am happy to have had the time with all of them.
Thanks again,
Patty

[bflatgary]

A belated Happy Birthday, Patty!

If you don't feel anger and resentment, that is okay. Nobody has reason or right to tell you that something like this should make you angry.

I grew up as a twin, so I always had to share a birthday. In my 30 married years, I have always had to share a birthday with my brother-in-law, whose birthday is 5 days before mine. It never bothered me, but I found out this past year that it really bothers him. He will not say why.

GW

[LILITH]

Hello
Seeker, I would feel let down. Maybe it slipped her mind. When you talk with again mention how nice it was that you were happy they were able to share your birthdate with you.
BTW Happy Belated Birthday!

[wisewoman]

Happy Birthday. I never had mine celebrated and as an adult people try to and it's embarrassing. I think that what I will learn from you is they should not mention it ahead of time and just surprise me. Birthdays have always made me sad. Time to claim my birth, I am here! Good post and however you feel is fine. Be well.

[JustAPixie]

I would be infuriated!!!!!!!! Everyone deserves acknowledgement on their birthday!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday to you anyway.... late as it is.