[Zen888]

Hi Everyone

What do you do when your feeling of loneliness turns to sadness? The type of sadness that "paralyzes" you from getting out and enjoying life?

[ster]

I'm sorry you are feeling that. ((((((((((((((((hugs ))))))))))))))))))
I have my pets they take up a lot of my thought.

[seeker1950]

Hi, Pi...
I guess on one level I'm lonely, since I don't get out and try t o alleviate it. On another level, however, I'm consciously secluding myself in an attempt for self-awareness, regaining my identity (or building it solidly), and simply choose to be alone, pursuing my own interests here at home.
I'm rather selfish of my solitude right now, enjoying it, rather than focusing on other people, which I've done all my life to the exclusion of pursuing my advanced degree in Fine Art. Now I'm doing that, and it's good for me.
Patty

[domino]

I know it's hard but you have to move yourself. Phone a friend or even just logging on here is a good thing. At least you realise that your not alone. There are probably many people out there with the same feeling of loneliness and sadness. Just getting out into the fresh air sometimes really gets you back into a better mood.

[seeker1950]

And, oh, yes, I have oodles of pets also!

[Christina86]

When I go from lonely to sad ... I cry. Seriously. My family owns pets but since I don't live with them I don't see them anymore. Sometimes listening to music helps, or trying to find someone to talk to.

*hug*

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. What would it be like if you could get out.. what would you do and where would you go? When you think of these things, what pops into your head about why you can't or shouldn't do them?

Is it that you want to know how to feel better when this happens or how to get past it?

((hugs!!))

[Bethsway]

Pilatus I am sorry you are feeling so lonely...I too feel that way...sometimes even when there is a room full of people...I am alone...and sad...I have been trying to do crafts lately to take up my time and put it out of my mind at least for a little while...hope you can find a diversion that you are interested in!!! (((((((((hugs))))))))))

[froggie2]

((((((Hug )))))))))) I haven't solved it yet. But I do notice tht if someone phones or drops over I come out of it for that time. How to do that for myself is the question. Its hard when I get so tired I just don't care. I try not to get to that stage.So far I am not winning.

[JustAPixie]

I think you should come and curl up with froggie and me!!! I have recenttly felt that way too and I jusst had to ride the wave. It does get better, I know that at least.

[Zen888]

Hi Everyone

I am currently overwhelmed with sadness. I have isolated myself for so many years...that I only have one good friend and she lives in a different part of the country. I currently have PMS and I feel like my whole being has be bathed in sadness and dispair. My Pdoc said my sadness is situational not the other kind. I am just on a sedative for panic attacks.

I have joined a health club and do enjoy working out. And I've joined a regular fitness group there as well.

How...Where...do you make friends at the ripe old age of 30 years old?

How do I stop this feeling or thought that I am going to die unmarried and with no children? I am not ugly or morbidly obese...

Suggestions? Daily rountines that help you? Comments?

[JustAPixie]

I'm sorry that I cannot be of any more help.... I do know how you feel though, but I don't know the answer to it...

[Christina86]

Hi Pilatus,

I'm not 30 so I can't give you any advice that might work 100% (I'm only 20) but have you tried talking to some of the people at your fitness group? Asking them out for coffee or something? What about at work, or your neighbours?

*hugs* Take care of yourself

[BriarRose]

Pilatus,

Sorry you feel so rotten. It's horrible to feel , well, unloved, but there ARE good things in your life, right? One thing that helped me out of a funk was to start a gratitude journal, I HAD to write down each night three things I was grateful for each day. Some times it was hard, but it got me really thinking, and soon it was something I really enjoyed. It made me notice a lot of things I took for granted, like my health, the weather, birds singing, a friendly clerk.Try it for 2 weeks and see if it works for you.

Try to get outside for a walk every day, at lunch or after work, and get some fresh air and hopefully some sunshine. Sunlight perks us all up, and when it's gloomy it's easy to feel down, some Drs recommend UV lights during the winter months. Try to get as much natural light as possible.

Be extra kind to yourself, you are a good person and are worth it. Bring home a bunch of flowers for some color in your living room, treat yourself to a bubble bath with candles and some great music. Get a movie digest or go to a website and make a list of all the musicals and wonderful old black and white films (or newer ones) you've never seen but would like to, then rent a couple each week. Get some yummy cheese and crackers to munch, and /or chocolate, make your evenings something to look forward to instead of dread.

Set some goals - what are some things you'd like to do? You're working out and in a regular fitness group as well, so what do you want to achieve next - run in a marathon? 5K? Go rock climbing? Learn to scuba? Have you always wanted to go to France? Why not sign up for an evening French class? Gourmet cooking school?

Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated, and seek the things you want from life. Along the way, maybe a handsome movie-store customer, cheese buyer, runner, scuba instructor or French student will think you're someone special too!

I hope this doesn't sound too insincere or easier said than done. I offer it from hindsight because I was injured at age 41 and have lived with severe pain ever since(I'm 45). I had really just gotten to the stage of my life where I was happy with who I was, and content with my life. Now I wish I had seized EVERY day, every moment I was healthy and made the most of it.

Life is precious, and you deserve to have a happy, full life right now, don't you? : )

beth

[JustAPixie]

How are you feeling today Pilatus????

[Perna]

When my lonely turns to sad I try to get out to do "chores" or any little thing outside the house where I can talk to at least one person. Getting out really helps me, reorients/centers me so I see more of the whole world rather than just the inside of my own head/heart. Sometimes working online helps too but the best for me is finding myself something to "do" out there.

[Zen888]

Hello Everyone

Your comments and advice have meant a great deal to me. I think right now I have PMS and loneliness... . It recently snowed but I am going to try to make the best out of today.

Thank-you!

[Perna]

Ah, snow. Any hills near you where you can go watch the kids slide down? Make yourself a cup of hot chocolate (go get some if you like hot chocolate but don't have any) and enjoy it watching sledders or just gazing out the window watching the traffic. I use to live on a hill and it was wonderful to be safe and warm, home from work, and watch the commuters trying to make it up the hill :-)