MDMA / Ecstasy induced mental disorders / What "disorder" do I have?

First off, I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum for this, this is the closet because I experienced a lot of DP/DR from this and nothing online seems to help, neither has my therapist. Also I am sorry and embarrassed that this is a drug related post.

Mid-April of this year I took some sort of MDMA capsule while in Australia and it was great. Pretty sure it was good. Don't remember how much it was but it was a safe amount. The next month my 'friend' says he has pure MDMA to sell so I buy 0.4g of it. Upon taking the 0.2 I notice the pills have crystals that were clear with a small small small hint of browning or yellowing tint to it but I just assume crystals are like that. There are also what appears to be small white clunks of what I am guessing now were crushed up pills? I took as much out as I could (they were capsules) I took the 0.2 felt nice, rolled etc. The next day I take them again (0.2) and I notice it takes about 2 to 3 hours to feel the effect and it is INTENSE. I was happy with the euphoria for about 10 minutes but then it became incredibly overwhelming like I was losing my mind or something, my heart began to race. I calm down eventually. I smoked cannabis (I smoked a lot almost every day for months pretty good strains such as blue dream) and everything seemed weird visually after I came down but that's just the comedown/day after.
Fast forward about 2 / 3 weeks and I am still feeling weird, like visually things are too vivid or seem too nice if that makes sense. Not an overwhelming amount but an amount that makes me uncomfortable. I can no longer smoke without focusing on my heartbeat. It goes up naturally and I am aware of that yet if I even take one or two hits boom anxiety (which I have a lot more of now) comes in. It's been since april and i still can't handle more than 1 or 2 hits and I had been smoking every day.

Anyway now I'm a hypochondriac, always checking my eyes for dilation, multi-vitamins, checking my pulse its about 65-75 average if its below that or high i think somethings wrong of course.
visual perception is still weird, not as bad but still just not right. Turns out I have a slight astigmatism so now I have glasses and whenever I take them off things look weird and I'll get anxiety after a while.
A huge thing is I feel like my brain is cluttered, not like brain fog (i got over that hell) but I don't feel as smart as I used to, I end up skimming instead of reading and I can't keep interest. It's been a while, I supplemented shortly with 5-htp not too much to mess with seratonin. and i take my d3 + omega 3 6 9 + raw multivitamin every day. something still feels different.
what happened?
how can i get over the hypochondria? was it induced by that, are there psychological tips to get through it. Yeah don't tell me not to do drugs because I want be doing them again, I've experimented enough but that's been my only bad experience and now I only want to smoke and that's if and / or when I'm ready.

Thanks and sorry for the super long post.
note: i am 18, not sure if brain development might have to do with it.

Subject line question...what mental disorder do I have...

the USA just changed over to a new standard of what is a recognized mental disorder and what isnt.. (the DSM 5). because of this the mental disorders now have a distinguishing criteria that states the mental disorder symptoms can not be because of drugs, legal or not.

what that means is now any symptoms that happen because of a medication/drug is now called a ....side effect....not a mental disorder.

many drugs / medications (legal and not) sometimes does leave a person with what New York calls ...residual side effects...simple terms left over side effects from taking that medication or drug.

residual side effects can be short term or long term....examples of what NY calls residual side effects...paranoid thoughts, ideas, hallucinations, head aches, migraines, ...basically the same things you would find in a medical drug book that gives information about medications / drugs and their dosage/ side effects to look for ....

people react in many different ways so theres no predicting how or what kinds of side effects a person with have from taking a drug/medication whether its legal or not.

this kind of thing is now treated as a medical /chemical /addiction problem here in NY.

if you were here in NY with this problem you would be referred to a drug treatment program such as NA, AA or other chemical dependency agency that have specially trained treatment providers, therapy, groups and such that deals with helping people get through their problems associated with drugs. and possibly a inpatient evaluation for withdrawal, chemical dependency to help you through the residual side effects from it.

my suggestion contact your medical doctor or mental health treatment provider. they can help you get connected with the right services that can help you with this problem

I've done X and some was white but the "best" was brown. I'm clean and sober now thank God. It was in the 90's when I took X. All I know is it doesn't make sense that you were high in 10 min. X takes much longer so I assume it was cut with maybe pcp. I think pcp or angel dust can affect your brain. Also, some dealers in usa use embalming fluid which is what the pump dead people with at funeral homes. I do know from experience that X floods your brain with serotonin and then wipes out your brains ability to refill. The result is when you come down it can cause suicidal depression.

But I'm probably wasting my time here if you are willing to blindly take drugs with no knowledge of the source. A website that has a lot of info in drugs and a forum where you can post your question is Erowid. It's probably going to give you more answers than psych central.

Peace, tnt

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What you took obviously was not MDMA. MDMA takes approximately 20 minutes to take effect. If it took longer, what you got was an inferior and more dangerous product - likely PMMA. Its more dangerous because it takes longer to kick in and the high is not as euphoric or psychedelic. It may give you a happy feeling, but it will also make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Physically and mentally unsettled - if not outright distressed. People will take more of it thinking they didn't take enough or they've built up a tolerance and need more to get the feeling of true MDMA. By the time the PMMA kicks in, you may have taken to much at this point.

Calm down though. You'll be ok. Unless you're a frequent or chronic user, its unlikely you've caused permanent damage. You may have killed a couple brain cells like with any drug or alcohol, but nothing really significant. Nothing that will give you a mental disorder.

As for focusing on your heartbeat when you smoke and why your pulse may slow or quicken ... well thats just what smoking does (cigarettes or pot). Smoking increases blood pressure and heart rate. Its that simple. If you smoked a lot everyday, your body would have a higher tolerance to the stimulants and you would notice these effects less or not all.

Depending on the strain, pot can either increase or decrease anxiety (most kinds increase it btw). Also depends on your bodies tolerance. If you used to smoke everyday, your body's tolerance level probably compensated for this and you didn't become anxious or paranoid. If you just try it once in awhile, well there's where you're going to suffer from anxiety (especially if you're already prone to anxiety).

Also, at 18, since your brain is still developing doing drugs will affect you more. If you are or were a chronic user while your brain is developing its going to have much more long term adverse effects on you than if you became a chronic user as a fully developed adult. However, developing brains can also repair and heal better.

If you feel like your brain is cluttered and your not remembering stuff as well as you used to... well the more you engage it, the less you will feel like that. Partying, doing drugs and hanging out with friends like most 18 yr olds do, does not engage your mind. Depression or other mental illnesses also clutter up the mind. Try memory or speed games or sites like Luminosity. Seriously, it works.

Also, if your really worried about it, I think its important you go to a doctor and get checked out. You could have underlying health problems that may also be affecting things like blood pressure or vision.

Drugs are bad, mmmmkay? Don't do them boys n girls!