[elevatedsoul]

sometimes i feel weird... or like im having an extreme sense of self awareness? i dont know what to call this.. is it possible to "pop" out of your body and not be able to control it anymore?

[January]

It sounds like disassociation. You feel like you're outside your body as if watching what's happening from a distance. I hope this helps.

Jan

[shezbut]

Yep, it does sound like disassociation to me as well.

You can hear words coming out of your mouth, but you aren't cognitively aware of the thought process. As you shower, your body parts seem so far away as you sub-conciously wash up. The strangest sensation...rather uncomfortable imo.

One of the medications that I take is to prevent more dissociation from occurring. I'd recommend talking with your doctor about it.

[avlady]

That's how feel when Im having an anxiety atack

[elevatedsoul]

yeah im going to try to bring it up at the next appointment, ive had this 'sensation' since i was a young child... i can remember vividly when i was about 5-6 having these hapen and i would zoom out and start feeling /wondering about philisophical things that any 5 year old shouldnt have any concern with, i remember the 1 thing that i always thought when i would feel this back then - "do others see what i see? do they see completely different than i see? are they real? is it possible for me to see what they see?" etc etc... its extremely difficult for me to talk/explain things that im thinking and feeling, im trying really hard though.. thanks for the replies, i was sort of thinking it was disassociation but all these big words are just making me feel like im falling apart hehe

[elevatedsoul]

is it rare for someone to develop complex ptsd if they were experiencing these things at such a young age? is it complicated to recognize/diagnose complex ptsd?

[danvb]

elevatedsoul,

I don't know if or what you're describing has a technical name or not. Frankly, I guess it doesn't make much difference to me. I believe that I understand what you're talking about. I've done the same sort of thing that you described all my life. When you mentioned "zooming" out and experiencing thoughts and feelings that aren't a part of your everyday life... whoa... Oh yeah... Does THAT ever ring a bell! I remember "zooming" away from myself and going elsewhere when I was 3 or 4 years old. One of the things I remember being conscious of was of profound sadness. I remember laying in my bed and feeling the sadness that a neighbor woman was feeling. I will never forget the intensity of that feeling. I know that it wasn't something that had to do with me.

The next day, I asked my mother why our neighbor lady friend was so sad. My mother eventually told me that this womans husband had been killed in a car accident a few days earlier on Guam. He, like my father, was a Navy Seabee too.

That sort of "zooming" out to another place has happened to me my entire life...

I still do it today. There have been many times I'd be laying in bed at night, talking with my wife... and I could feel myself zip off into la la land, all the while still talking with my wife. I don't think about what I'm saying, but oftentimes the things that come out of me are things that I have absolutely no knowledge of what-so-ever. I'm always surprised to hear those things coming out of my mouth, because I never thought of them or sometimes I don't even understand what it was that I said! There have been times when, afterwards, I had to Google what ever it was just so I could get a handle on what it meant.

Yeah, that sort of stuff used to spook the heck out of me because I didn't understand anything about it. It doesn't really bother me anymore though. I guess I've just sort of gotten used to it happening. I still don't know what it is, what causes it, or even why I do it. It's just one of those "weird" things I do... and I do a lot of very unusual things...

Anyway, I don't know if what I just described doing is anything like what you're talking about or not. I hope it is. I mean, maybe if it is, maybe I wouldn't feel like such a freak of nature after all!

I KNOW that as soon as I hit the "Submit Reply" button I'm going to regret it. I know I'm going to... I don't talk about this sort of stuff very much... I suppose because I don't understand it and can't explain it, it makes me a little bit afraid that people will think that there's something wrong with me or that I'm a little bit too far "out there" for their taste...

Oh yeah... You definitely hit a home run with that "zooming" thing... been there, done that... Uh, well, been there, DO that... still.

Ha! I just remembered something... when I was very little, when ever I talked to my mother about this "zooming" thing, I used to call it "getting small"... That was because it always feels like I'm this little tiny... something or other... that's surrounded by an infinitely, unimaginably gigantic emptiness... and I feel so small in comparison... but at the same time I also know what it is to expand myself to fill that emptiness... anyway, yeah..."getting small".

Hey! Gimmee a break! I was a child when I came up with that!

Anyway... "Submit Reply"!

Dan

[shezbut]

I had that happen in my childhood as well. I'm unsure why that is. But, I do remember it freaking me out then. I distinctly recall getting up at night once (around age 5) and seeing the hallway to the bathroom dramatically stretching out (like in that movie, Poltergiest).

I also have memories of fully detaching from myself around that same time (5-ish) and watching myself from way above. What I saw myself doing below is a blur to me. Those two memories have always bothered me & here I am....almost 40 years later and feeling the same way I was then! I haven't ever discussed these things with anyone, because I felt weird and uncomfortable.

Anyway, I understand what you described very well. (((hugs)))

[elevatedsoul]

yeah you pretty much hit it on the nail danvb, but most of the time its so overwhelming i dont really know whats going on - and i think i just block it out or something ; the most intense time i can remember is when i was sleeping (in my parents bed) and waking up in what felt like an instant and sitting up directly sweating, in the dark but could see the walls and pictures spinning, i think i passed out after that.. my mom tells me that i used to sit up in my sleep and speak in different languages and i've even had "prophetic" dreams if that makes sense heh

it really is hard to explain because it feels so unexplainable , but its these things im trying to remember and figure out so i can talk to the dr about and hopefully figure out what my brain is doing!

[danvb]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

yeah you pretty much hit it on the nail danvb, but most of the time its so overwhelming i dont really know whats going on - and i think i just block it out or something ; the most intense time i can remember is when i was sleeping (in my parents bed) and waking up in what felt like an instant and sitting up directly sweating, in the dark but could see the walls and pictures spinning, i think i passed out after that.. my mom tells me that i used to sit up in my sleep and speak in different languages and i've even had "prophetic" dreams if that makes sense heh

it really is hard to explain because it feels so unexplainable , but its these things im trying to remember and figure out so i can talk to the dr about and hopefully figure out what my brain is doing!

Good! I hope you are able to tell you pdoc about what's happening and he/she can share some insight. If you hear anything, let me know because I haven't a clue what's been going on either and I'd like to know.

I guess I've gotten past the "WTH"? stage and just think it's interesting now.

Dan

[elevatedsoul]

i will do, my next apt is the 2nd with the therapist; im going to a clinic i see a case manager, therapist, and a psychiatrist like once in a while it seems... only seen him 3 times i think? all 3 of them work together with me right? with each other? so i should be able to tell the therapist stuff and she can let the others know right? um.. how often can we change medicine? because this buspar and welbutrin doesnt seem to be doing anything for me besides giving me headaches and stomach problems.. they have told me about 3 times that i need to give the medicine time and im aware of that but i figure if no improvement (worsening in condition)in 3 months somethings got to give yeah?