Hating on myself

Soo.. A friend of mine pointed this out to me which made me think that maybe it's a problem.

Lately, and I mean like in the last week or so, I have been treating myself really badly. Mainly just calling myself stupid.

Which, in itself, doesn't seem like a big deal, but I mean.. It's out of the ordinary you know.

And the smallest things trigger it. Like I went to a NYE party and I almost forgot my keys and as I was going back to get those I just mumbled: "Stupid.. you are such a ****ing moron.. how stupid can you be" to myself.
That just doesn't seem too healthy.

The thing is - I don't know what triggered it. I haven't been under any particular stress - just the opposite. I'm in winter break so no school or work.. Ugh.

And it's like with swearing. I know that I'm doing it, but like.. the words come out before I can stop myself in a way. It just comes automatically in any given situation. I wouldn't have even noticed it myself probably if it hadn't been pointed out..

I don't really know what I'm asking for here. I guess I just don't really know who else to turn to with these kinds of things.

Sometimes when so much is going on in your life this can happen, and being anxious can cause anyone to forget, try not to be so hard on yourself.. I do the same thing so this message is also for me... take care and be gentle with yourself.

Hello, are you seeing a t at the moment? It sounds like it may be good to sit with someone and find out why you have stopped caring for yourself.

Where has your self worth gone? Has something happened?

It's just the holidays for me i'm just very very happy their over for now, not waiting for the rest of the year until it comes

No, I am not seeing anyone.. I will soon. Just need to make an appointment. I'm probably gonna go on meds too.
I guess I was just overall really.. grumpy the whole holiday season. Although I didn't really have any reason to..

Oh well..