[IndieVisible]

I had a deep moment to day and want to try to share it and discuss it with others. I'm not really sure what to call this experience, it almost felt like a revelation or spiritual awakening, but with out the spiritual aspect of it.

It's about self awareness I think. Sure humans have this capability, but some better then others. How many people live in denial, illusions, of themselves and the world around them? How many people can actually see themselves as others might with out any bias at all? This happen to me. I had one of those moments where I seen my self and it felt like it was the first time. I did not like what I seen but I could not find any excuses for who/what I am. Honestly I think the Seroquel had some thing to do with this. It was as if I was 100% in the real world for the first time seeing myself as others do.

I did not like it. I felt naked. I felt worthless, a failure. I looked at the sum total of my life and it did not add up to a whole lot. Again, no excuses, no pity party, just reality and was very cold for me that moment. Was I delusional that moment, or real? What is real?

Any one else want to share a similar experience or discuss any of this? I'm not even sure how close I came to describing what I experienced.

One question before it goes any further. How could you know you see yourself as others see you? Ok two questions but the second isn't really directed at you.
What is real? I think very few know the answer to that question. Reality seems to be a subjective thing

[IndieVisible]

your right but I was thinking more on the line of realizing who/what we really are. Think matrix. I didn't think too much of myself or the real life and actually preferred my illusion.

It's interesting that you refer me to a work of fiction in a discussion of reality
Life is full of illusions and delusions. When too many of our illusions/delusions are peeled away life gets real complex and hard to accept... my theory anyway tho I'm sure it isn't original.
Familiar with a word called ontology?

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by George H.

It's interesting that you refer me to a work of fiction in a discussion of reality
Life is full of illusions and delusions. When too many of our illusions/delusions are peeled away life gets real complex and hard to accept... my theory anyway tho I'm sure it isn't original.
Familiar with a word called ontology?

sounds about right to me. you worded it very well. It's much easier to live the illusion then reality, but as you ask, does anyone really what reality is? I'm sure many people have this moment, you see yourself, as yourself and the real world perceived as the real world. We all try to escape one way or another. We choose the red pill or the blue pill daily.

I had to google ontology, yes that's it.

I think some illusion/delusion is necessary. At some of my most lucid and low points I felt I saw people as they really are. I was very disappointed. Not because I perceived them as weak or failures or anything like that. I was just very disappointed at how many people lack any real depth or ongoing compassion that lasts more than a moment. I'm sure you can guess what the final illusion is/was. That one I'm still struggling with. If it's lost... all is lost.
I hope you can get past the negative effects of your experience and find a way to use it to your advantage in your struggle for self worth and esteem.

[IndieVisible]

I could be wrong but I think we all have those "moments" when every thing falls in to place and we see clearer, we see ourselves and others and the world in general as it really is, but then we all fall back to our own illusions or perceptions which ever you prefer. It's more comfortable this way.