[jesusplay]

Last time I went, I felt 100% if I went home that night I was gonna kill myself so I got checked in and I spent 10 days there december.

My first 2 days I still wanted to kill myself eventually about my 5 day I didn't have the urge to end it anymore.

did I do it right?

I feel that I may need to go back, I feel it building up

I've beeen constantly depressed for months now, I lied and said I wasn't depressed to get discharged as suicide was the only issue I was afraid of.

[Rose76]

Sounds like you made a wise decision when you went to the hospital in December. They would not have kept you for 10 days, if they did not think that you were seriously in need of help. Maybe there should have been some outpatient followup after you left. Doesn't sound like that was the case, IDK?

If you feel you need to go back, then I think you should trust that gut feeling.

I'm sorry you feel so depressed.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( jesusplay )))))))

jesusplay, I think you did the right thing by checking yourself in in December. If you feel those urges coming back, and you're seriously worried you may try to hurt yourself, I would check in again. I also agree that, in the least, it would be a good idea to have outpatient counseling/follow up until you feel like you're on better footing.

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Sounds like you made a wise decision when you went to the hospital in December. They would not have kept you for 10 days, if they did not think that you were seriously in need of help. Maybe there should have been some outpatient followup after you left. Doesn't sound like that was the case, IDK?

If you feel you need to go back, then I think you should trust that gut feeling.

I'm sorry you feel so depressed.

I've been seen every week since, I'm on a high priority list.

I just feel like I'm suffering, and meds therapy aren't helping.

[eskielover]

I found when I was in that place I started to recognize those feelings......& my pdoc would make sure I was safe...after so many attempts they realized I should recognize how I was feeling.

I think it's right to take the action you did & to do it again if you feel those same feelings. Yes, it feels like a revolving door....but until they get your meds at a working place or like with me, no meds worked & I just had to work through the situations that were causing the depression......it's ok to make sure you are in a safe place when you feel that way.

[Hellion]

I'd say you made the right choice by checking in when you felt suicidal...and if you feel that way again nothing wrong with going back. I've been in the psych ward twice for that reason...and to be honest I am considering whether or not I need to go back again but I also have an upcoming SSI hearing...so kind of don't want to have to do that.

Anyways I hope you can stay safe and hopefully find some kind of relief...maybe you need different meds, a different therapy approach or something....as different things work for different people.

[Rose76]

I'm glad that you did get set up with some help. Speaking with someone once a week can feel like little support when you are very depressed. I highly recommend psych day programs. Sometimes they are called "Partial Hospitalization." A program like that helped me. Maybe one exists in your area.

I'm about to do the kind of program Rose suggested ^^^. Is that something you can do?

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm glad that you did get set up with some help. Speaking with someone once a week can feel like little support when you are very depressed. I highly recommend psych day programs. Sometimes they are called "Partial Hospitalization." A program like that helped me. Maybe one exists in your area.

I'm getting care at through the VA. They have me on a high risk flag.

I see a therapist every week and if I need to see a doctor I just walk in.

My therapist told me yesterday I was making progresses until I missed last week because the snow shut down.

they still use DSM IV, my gaf scores have been 50-40

[Rose76]

I know the VA near me has what's called PsychoSocial Rehab. It's different from Partial, but similar in that it gets you engaged in something on a daily basis (or several times per week.) I strongly believe that, when you are totally stuck in depression, you need something to participate in that you can go to a lot more often than once per week. Even if you just show up and vegetate, it is safer than vegetating at home.

I hope there is something more that you can get involved in.