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Old Mar 22, 2014, 03:09 PM
The Fox & the Hound The Fox & the Hound is offline
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I always make people feel sad,especially my BF. then I make them happy.

I criticize people on what they do,& always say there bad at things.They tell me I make them feel bad,but I don't stop try doing it.

I always want them to agree with me,or I get really mad.

So,then I feel like everybody hates me. always feel like I'm waste of people's time,& that most people hate me. I feel like its my personality,not that I'm depressed. Why? I wouldn't be depressed for the whole day.

I always feel like I'm waste of people's time,& that most people hate me.

Then I'll just get depressed for no apparent reason,even when I'm not criticizing people.

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  #2  
Old Mar 22, 2014, 03:43 PM
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NWgirl2013 NWgirl2013 is offline
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Not a horrible person. But as you already know, a critical & possibly argumentative person, and that's probably hard on the people around you.

You can change that if you want to.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Always count to 10 before you speak. And practice The Golden Rule. It is golden because it works, and people like it.

Best to you ~
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  #3  
Old Mar 23, 2014, 09:04 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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I don't think you are a bad person, perhaps just anxious and controlling as a result. I would try to work on the anxiety so you can let other people be themselves and do whatever they want/need to do for themselves, good or bad.
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  #4  
Old Mar 23, 2014, 05:03 PM
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BeaFlower BeaFlower is offline
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One thing is sure, you are NOT a horrible person! From your posts I can see that you are sweet and sensitive, and you care about your friends also if you have your own concerns. Maybe you could try to explain to your friends that you don't want to make them feel bad...and you could also try to notice when they do good things and say them that you appreciate, they'll be happy Hugs
  #5  
Old Mar 23, 2014, 07:02 PM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi The Fox & the Hound, you're asking the question, you're spotting where you may be going wrong, you care........now how horrible does that make you?? Not quite as.......??
But personally, just like BeaFlower said it's really clear that you can be very thoughtful towards others? Out of your way thoughtful!! OK maybe you can do with tuning into some more "people skills" but your instincts when you notice people need help/support are way up there!!
Now back to some of the issues you've noticed yourself doing (hold onto your seat more positive things coming!! )
Making people sad: you know that you're not doing that because you want to see them sad!! I know you're not!! Maybe some problems you're having yourself which we/someone close to you who you can confide in/a professional can help with but you aren't deliberately doing that, are you? And you make them happy.....now how good is that??!! VERY GOOD, RIGHT!!
Annnddd......YOU'RE NOT HORRIBLE!!!
"I criticize people on what they do,& always say there bad at things.They tell me I make them feel bad,but I don't stop try doing it"
OK, maybe you want to see them doing things better, maybe you don't want to see them doing things they aren't that good at, maybe you want to see them showing their best in whatever they're doing??? Or maybe a little negativeness/irritability going on there as I know you haven't been feeling that good lately?? And how are you going to blame yourself for that considering what you've been going through??!!
Yes "people skills" might help in offering some constructive criticism, offering encouragement/support, recognizing the way they're feeling a little more as opposed to.....,
Annnddd......YOU'RE NOT HORRIBLE!!!
"I always want them to agree with me,or I get really mad"
Hey, you want to be liked, you want people to find what you're saying useful/helpful/informative, you want to teach people the "right" way as you see it?? Or some insecurities/vulnerability going on there?? And considering how you've been feeling......how are you going to blame yourself??!!
Yes "people skills" might help in considering and allowing different opinions which might actually enrich your own too, and it's going to help avoiding getting mad if people disagree but you can do that!! Really you can!! Again might need a little help with this but....you can!!
Annnddd......YOU'RE NOT HORRIBLE!!!
And the "I feel like everybody hates me. always feel like I'm waste of people's time"
Now maybe that feeling is coming down to depression!!
And that's maybe where your focus should be, on getting the help you need to find your way through this. You are important, whatever!!!
YOU'RE NOT HORRIBLE!!! You're pretty amazing under all of this!!! So just allow yourself to really shine with whatever help you need.
Best wishes
Alison
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