[BobbyJBones]

Hi there, this is my first real post so hiiii!

Truth is I have a lot of friends but I seem to hide a lot....I recently went throguh a break up and a really hard time financially because of the relationship and I'm afraid people know and are judging me....Or even if they know its not ok with me...Like I need to kinda be perfect or at least being doing really stable and well....and definitiely cannot allow most anyone to know how messed up I really am......SO if someone invites me somewhere I wonder why they feel sorry for me and are inviting me and then I start to wonder who told them what abotu me...at first I thought ok this is possible for people to have told them stuff....then my mind said these things about anyone that called me or anything....ITS so HARD to think suspiciously abotu everyone and want to hide allt he time.......Ive kinda been this way my whole life....Even when I got into relationships I want to hide with the person...like OK I have someone so I just want to gnaw on it like a dog with a bone....Sometimes I'm social and when I am Im ok....But these worries are kinda driving me nuts.....paranoia? Insecure? What is all this nonsense my mind is doing? SO THANKFUL FOR THIS SITE

[gma45]

Oh BobbyJBones you don't have to be perfect. If these people are your true friends it really won't matter to them. It sounds like your depression talking...."you're no good!" You are a good person and if you feel like these friends need to know anything. Why don't you just let it out? Clear the air right up front then you will not have anything to worry about. Don't let the negative thoughts rule you. I hope this helps you some.

[glok]

Hello, BobbyJBones. Something to think about:

Facticity by Tracy Ochester, PsyD: Dealing with Guilt and Shame

[BobbyJBones]

Thank you both so much. Its the first time I've recognized and admitted what has been going on.....Just doing this writing has helped ease the pressure. I'm going to beat this! Life is too beautiful to be made so difficult.

Thanks thanks thanks for your support

[glok]

I wish you well. Mr. Bones.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by BobbyJBones

and then I start to wonder

Hi, BobbyJBones! Keep out of your head/imagination when you start to get worried. Worry is always about the future and we cannot know the future. Worrying something "bad" is not different than worrying something "good" so think up some good possibility instead of letting the bad ones have all the fun Decide people are asking you to join them because they really enjoy your company, you're a good friend and companion!