Zoning out, flickering attention, etc.

I can live on normally like other people, yet other times I can't simply react or act in some situations. In these times, I just embarrass myself or regret the actions I make and wish I could've done something else.

For instance, I have a habit of zoning out and experience microsleeping. For some background info, I always think I got enough sleep, which I do (about 5.5 - 6 hours during the school year and 9 hours in the summer) but then later on the day a strain develops in my eyes and I feel tired. I have also had at least four head direct head injuries in my life: falling from the stairs when I was little, a car accident in which my head slammed against the car, and two years ago, I was swinging and accidentally let go, landing backwards on the border of our gate and some rocks. I also got hit by a bike when I walked out in the street because I was in a daze, my mom told me.

(( My parents always have fought a lot throughout my life to now, so I've been through a hell lot of very loud verbal fighting. It's nothing major, but I have to deal with this almost everyday... ))

Those were my total accidents in my life. Throughout my life, my mom fixed how I walked and how I sat because I always limped or sagged, as a result. I'm fine now, it's just my head now.

My parent say I always blank out a lot and how it interfere with how I interact with people. Here's an experience I'm pretty self-conscious about: my dad and I were at the DPS to pick up my permit last year. I was chill at this moment, no feelings or emotions. When we were called and automatically spewing answers to questions, he asked me to sign some blanks. I only signed one of them, but then suddenly I just stopped and handed him the paper. The man was a bit annoyed and began pointing by baby steps. I suddenly grew annoyed and signed them all. That was weird, so then I had to scan my thumbs on this device. I didn't realize there were two grips sticking out for one to hold so the thumbs could rest on the scanner. So I twisted my wrists to fit my thumbs on it. The man had to show me where to place my thumbs -_- I'm starting to think I won't do anything right...

These zone-out or clueless moments don't happen everyday, it just randomly happens, whether I'm at home or at parties or doing something important. There was another time when I was on my last drive time, and suddenly my thoughts were somewhere else. I tried to snap back to reality, but all I felt was the car speeding and the teacher beside me. Nothing happened, but we screeched to a halt at a red light. I snapped back totally awake.

My attention just likes to falter, I really hate this!! Any idea if this is normal or not? It's messing up my life, including driving on my own because my dad sometimes notes me that I don't always pay attention to the road. And I self-described myself with moderate depression because I know my behaviour, so does my depression contribute to any of this??

in general....
for some people this is normal
for some people it is part of their traumatic brain injury problems
for some people its part of medical problems
for some people its part of their mental problems
for some people its part of their medication side effects

we cant tell you whether this is part of normal, your traumatic brain injuries or your other problems like depression. only your own treatment providers can tell you that.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they can answer your questions more directly related to you and your problems.

Have you been check out lately by a doctor? It could be something medical I don't know. And we can not diagnosis as we are not doctors. It would be hard anyways without seeing you. I suggest you see a doctor then go from there. Are you seeing anyone for your depression or taking any medications? That may be another thing I would check out. I wish the best for you.

Best to get checked out by a doctor. What I will say though is 5.5-6hrs a night sleep is lower than what is recommended. Have you tried regularly getting 7-8 hrs to see if symptoms improve?

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Well, that was during my school year. I'm getting around 8-9 hours of sleep now, and things have improved a little bit, but nothing's changed. To me, the amount of sleep required for me doesn't affect me nor my behaviour.

I'm not saying you have this but, friend of mine has head trauma from childhood. She is also zoning out at times and a doctor finally realized it's a real thing and sent her for testing. Her EEG shows she has what they used to call petit mal epilepsy, today this subgroup is much more branched out. My friend had some learning issues in school, just because part of her brain literally slept a few seconds here and there. Goes into waves only seen when you are asleep.

I'll warn you though as you mention driving, if you have disturbances showing up on an EEG it might or might not effect your ability to get a driver's license.

My friend was put on meds but she wasn't happy with those and stopped. She has less episodes if things are chill, she tends to have them several times a day if she is stressed out.

That's helpful information, thanks for pointing that out! :3 I'll look into it, it fits me! How did your friend cope with Petit Mal Epilepsy, by the way?

She is sort of working below her smarts, still she makes mistakes at work. She has started telling the people closest to her what is up with her which helped. Before she kept it a secret. So usually people are not as annoyed thinking she is arrogant and not listening.

I'm not sure how she copes internally. It helped a little learning it was a "real" issue, when she was a kid she thought she was just weird or lazy or whatever words people use to beat themselves up. She has learned to take it easier to avoid episodes. Also he avoids all alcohol. Still I wonder if she wouldn't do better trying a new med, there are several new ones since she tried. I can't picture how it is to be in her head, but it would freak me out. She seems to be used to it though, and more suffering the side effects from it, like missing things, losing context and so on. I think because of people used to get angry with her.