[thickntired]

Hi,

I am trying to live in the solution instead of the problem - if that makes many sense. If you could go back in time to give yourself advice what would that entail? Or if you could offer support/guidance to another person with mental illness.

I would say, you can't change the past. Learn from mistakes and don't obsess over what I will never be able to change. I also have zero control over the future. Rather than creating one hundred sceneries for what could lay in wait and live in now.

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I would tell myself to do what most people do and do *a lot* of research. Not on what most disorders are but on the *symptoms* I was showing and let them guide me to what is happening as opposed to blindly trusting professionals and well meaning but extremely ignorant school leaders and family. I'd also say to not settle on who I chose for a therapist and remind myself that I have the freedom to *choose* and to actually do so instead of just thinking it. Remaining immobile is the same as consciously making a choice...

Don't google it! Stay away from the interwebs and demand more information from the people treating you. They are talking about you therefore they must talk to you as well.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by herpoorsoul

I would tell myself to do what most people do and do *a lot* of research. Not on what most disorders are but on the *symptoms* I was showing and let them guide me to what is happening as opposed to blindly trusting professionals and well meaning but extremely ignorant school leaders and family. I'd also say to not settle on who I chose for a therapist and remind myself that I have the freedom to *choose* and to actually do so instead of just thinking it. Remaining immobile is the same as consciously making a choice...

YES! I have been so freaked out that my pdoc will call me "non-compliant" And refuse to treat me anymore There is a vast shortage of pdocs where I live. I was inpatient March of this year with suicidal ideation. I asked the ER doctor, intake nurse and my pdoc about my hormone levels. I was ignored and I felt deemed unfit to know my own body or gut instincts. I am still doing damage control on those long 5 days where I rehashed my trauma and afflictions to about 15 different people. I had 2 blood tests when I left and I'm in menopause. Google research it is a new tool as I've been sick since before the internet. When I was young I suffered from many mental illnesses that didn't even have a name. PTSD in children was not recognized in children until 1980! In the 1990's and before I believe there was no symptom recognized as self injury of harm. I don't think anorexia was even known until Karen Carpenter was on the cover of Time. It sucks to get all the labels because it feels like a cancer that has spread and more medications to take. It is nice to know I'm not alone.

What advice?

I would probably say "screw it, go stand on the rail road tracks".

[glok]

Be proactive right from the start.

[Nammu]

Advice to myself; don't take the Anti-depressants! Don't quit working! Switch majors and take your bosses offer to pay for the rest of your university schooling.

[redbandit]

Originally Posted by thickntired

Hi,

I am trying to live in the solution instead of the problem - if that makes many sense. If you could go back in time to give yourself advice what would that entail? Or if you could offer support/guidance to another person with mental illness.

I would say, you can't change the past. Learn from mistakes and don't obsess over what I will never be able to change. I also have zero control over the future. Rather than creating one hundred sceneries for what could lay in wait and live in now.

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I thought that being diagnosed would mean there would be some "miraculous solution." I had already diagnosed myself correctly, it took my dr a few years longer to get it. But getting a diagnosis, at least for me, is just the beginning. I would offer this advice to someone else recently diagnosed: it's very important to be open with your dr/and or therapist, and to take their advice as much as possible. I've tried to avoid therapy for a long time, and that led to my relapse. Lesson learned.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

Advice to myself; don't take the Anti-depressants! Don't quit working! Switch majors and take your bosses offer to pay for the rest of your university schooling.

I hate the libido side effect of prozac, but it really helps OCD. I worked myself into a frenzy of mania at my corporate jobs. I feel extremely blessed that I was able to get disability. The stress from my last job made me so manic I was let go after 4 months.

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[thickntired]

Originally Posted by glok

Be proactive right from the start.

exactly! I'm now trying to do major damage control on seroquel weight gain. I feel so stupid that I wasn't proactive enough to stop at 10lbs. because now I need to lose 70lbs. The health risks are far more severe than the mental at this point.

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Originally Posted by BeteNoire

Don't google it! Stay away from the interwebs and demand more information from the people treating you. They are talking about you therefore they must talk to you as well.

I second this more than I can say. It's amazing how they'll sit there and tell you as little as possible, even as you consistently and constantly ask to learn more about what's going on. This happened to me. Total red flag and as much as it bothered me I told myself to ignore it. So I went along with it....meaning what? That I played a part too. Now my advice would also be, if you're reading this and find this scenario happening to you, recognize what your choices are and act accordingly. Will only benefit you later.

[waggiedog]

Hello dear thickntired. Oh your post made for interesting thinking! I have had serious mental health issues for the last 33 years, they were long dark horrible years and not just for me but for my poor family. I was hospitalised a number of times but I was given the nice label of ''attention seeker'' and ''time waster'' .................... fast forward to under four years ago and I was finially diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) a nasty little number which is the most destructive misunderstood disorder. OK, BPD wasn't really mainstream back those 33 years ago but I'm very glad and relieved that it is known about today. There's no ''cure'' or even meds specially for it but DBT and a programme called S.T.E.P.P.S helps a great deal. In my group therapy I'm trying to guide the very young people who are in turmoil as I once was. I still have severe eating disorders and suicidal depressions but on the whole I'm better off having reasearched everything about BPD! HUGS and LOVES, as ever. XXXXXXXXXXX

Originally Posted by thickntired

YES! I have been so freaked out that my pdoc will call me "non-compliant" And refuse to treat me anymore There is a vast shortage of pdocs where I live. I was inpatient March of this year with suicidal ideation. I asked the ER doctor, intake nurse and my pdoc about my hormone levels. I was ignored and I felt deemed unfit to know my own body or gut instincts. I am still doing damage control on those long 5 days where I rehashed my trauma and afflictions to about 15 different people. I had 2 blood tests when I left and I'm in menopause. Google research it is a new tool as I've been sick since before the internet. When I was young I suffered from many mental illnesses that didn't even have a name. PTSD in children was not recognized in children until 1980! In the 1990's and before I believe there was no symptom recognized as self injury of harm. I don't think anorexia was even known until Karen Carpenter was on the cover of Time. It sucks to get all the labels because it feels like a cancer that has spread and more medications to take. It is nice to know I'm not alone.

That's the problem right there. Most of the time everyone with the same disorder/symptoms are classed as being the same. So even though it's known that different people experience the same disorder differently, they're still treated the same way just because they have ____ and people with ____ usually are ____, ____, and ____. I'm not saying this happens to everyone. But it does happen. Things are said to make it seem like you don't know yourself and you're totally incapable of having any reasonable thought at all...including having any sense to know yourself or to have instinct/a 'gut feeling'. It's happened to me and I've seen it happen to other people. I know to call it for what it is. I will let you know, I'm really sorry for what you went/are going through. I hope you can find a good new one and that you're relieved soon.

[RunningInTheRain]

I would tell myself to talk to someone about a year and a half before I actually did. That would have made a HUGE difference, and a lot of the things that happened to me probably would not have.

[brainhi]

First, getting help is so smart - it's not a weakness. Looking back I realize that a diagnosis is really a label for symptoms. We need a diagnosis for health insurance and other assistance. I'm not sure the diagnosis is always correct. I want to understand my symptoms and learn how to manage them and not just with medication. I am not defined by my diagnosis.

[Polibeth]

I would tell myself to get help despite what my family was telling me (that everything was fine and NOT to). I know myself best and I should listen to myself always!

[lizardlady]

I would tell myself that life did NOT have to be so miserable. I'd tell myself that healing was possible. I'd tell myself not to wait so long to find a good pdoc, contrary to others, meds helped save me.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Hello dear thickntired. Oh your post made for interesting thinking! I have had serious mental health issues for the last 33 years, they were long dark horrible years and not just for me but for my poor family. I was hospitalised a number of times but I was given the nice label of ''attention seeker'' and ''time waster'' .................... fast forward to under four years ago and I was finially diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) a nasty little number which is the most destructive misunderstood disorder. OK, BPD wasn't really mainstream back those 33 years ago but I'm very glad and relieved that it is known about today. There's no ''cure'' or even meds specially for it but DBT and a programme called S.T.E.P.P.S helps a great deal. In my group therapy I'm trying to guide the very young people who are in turmoil as I once was. I still have severe eating disorders and suicidal depressions but on the whole I'm better off having reasearched everything about BPD! HUGS and LOVES, as ever. XXXXXXXXXXX

Hi Waggie dog,

I have been dealing with mental illness for around 30 years as well - good times I was in a partial hospitalization last June and the classes were all about DBT. I will look up STEPPS. I think it can be a helpful tool for anyone. I became friends with a girl in there who had BPD, and I felt so bad for her because like you she said there were not a lot of options for treatment. My pdoc gave me the book "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" to see if I could relate because he thinks I also have BPD. I didn't read it because I'm so sick of adding to my laundry list of diagnosis.

I think that's great that you're helping people. I always feel for the younger patients because I've been down that road and know where it leads. No offense, but a word of advice. Don't deflect or loose sight of your problems by helping others. Through AA I had really hard lessons. I can't change a person and my influence may fall on deaf ears. I had to learn when to move on after putting in my 2 cents and not feel guilty if they lived in self-destruction.

tnt

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by RunningInTheRain

I would tell myself to talk to someone about a year and a half before I actually did. That would have made a HUGE difference, and a lot of the things that happened to me probably would not have.

It took me years to be able to talk with people, therapists doctors etc and be HONEST. That is probably a lot of the reason my diagnosis was incorrect for so many years. I think it is ok to look at the past but don't stare.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by brainhi

First, getting help is so smart - it's not a weakness. Looking back I realize that a diagnosis is really a label for symptoms. We need a diagnosis for health insurance and other assistance. I'm not sure the diagnosis is always correct. I want to understand my symptoms and learn how to manage them and not just with medication. I am not defined by my diagnosis.

Oooo, I love that - I am not defined by my illness. I used to go to AA mtgs in a women's jail. That was the first time I paid attention when a girl said she is not a victim she is a survivor. I also felt weak and mainly afraid to tell anyone what really was going on in my brain. I guess I thought I would be locked up or called a deviant. I was misdiagnosed for many years by many people in the mental health field.

I absolutely agree that improvement almost never comes from a pill alone. A lot of what I did was self-medicate and that made everything worse. Today, I exercise, eat healthy, avoid toxic people & places, and do self-guided meditation. I want to get into yoga and 5x a week I walk on a trail in the woods. I try to keep a schedule, read inspirational and spiritual books about all different religions, and keep the clutter out of my house because it clutters my brain.

I just learned that taking deep breaths really helps anxiety and nerves. On my last inpatient visit my nerves were throwing my blood pressure through the roof. After a nurse intervened, I paid attention and was taking quick, shallow breaths, almost hyperventilating. In the past, I had always just taken a pill or a drink so I had no coping skills to reference.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I would tell myself that life did NOT have to be so miserable. I'd tell myself that healing was possible. I'd tell myself not to wait so long to find a good pdoc, contrary to others, meds helped save me.

I agree. Meds helped save me as well. I expect I will be taking medication the rest of my life....but so many just want a pill to fix it.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by thickntired

Oooo, I love that - I am not defined by my illness. I used to go to AA mtgs in a women's jail. That was the first time I paid attention when a girl said she is not a victim she is a survivor. I also felt weak and mainly afraid to tell anyone what really was going on in my brain. I guess I thought I would be locked up or called a deviant. I was misdiagnosed for many years by many people in the mental health field.

I absolutely agree that improvement almost never comes from a pill alone. A lot of what I did was self-medicate and that made everything worse. Today, I exercise, eat healthy, avoid toxic people & places, and do self-guided meditation. I want to get into yoga and 5x a week I walk on a trail in the woods. I try to keep a schedule, read inspirational and spiritual books about all different religions, and keep the clutter out of my house because it clutters my brain.

I just learned that taking deep breaths really helps anxiety and nerves. On my last inpatient visit my nerves were throwing my blood pressure through the roof. After a nurse intervened, I paid attention and was taking quick, shallow breaths, almost hyperventilating. In the past, I had always just taken a pill or a drink so I had no coping skills to reference.

It's so good to hear about others making their way through the pain to a better life! That is sometimes what others do not understand...many of us are in PAIN and self medicate - I think others are starting to understand that people abuse drugs and alcohol because they are in pain - not because they are losers.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by Polibeth

I would tell myself to get help despite what my family was telling me (that everything was fine and NOT to). I know myself best and I should listen to myself always!

Yes, my friends and family are not experts. They always contradict themselves. If I'm just in a bad mood it's all Are you taking your meds??! Then when I've checked into the psych ward they're mystified. It took a while for me to be secure enough to know myself.


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[thickntired]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I would tell myself that life did NOT have to be so miserable. I'd tell myself that healing was possible. I'd tell myself not to wait so long to find a good pdoc, contrary to others, meds helped save me.

Oh, Lizard Lady. Your post gives me hope. I have run into many, many incompetent workers in drug rehab and mental health. These are fields that can have an extreme burn out rate to the point that some employees are just able to do as little as possible. I understand that spending hours dealing with another person's issues takes an unique individual. I'm in AA with a LCSW who was drinking before work, at work, while driving etc. She has had a horrendous time getting sober. I've known her over a year and I absolutely love her. She is full of empathy and very intelligent but just got sucked under.

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[thickntired]

Brainhi. Thank you so much for your comment on addicts not being deviants. USA incarcerates while most of the world rehabilitates. There is a world of difference between these two.

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