why the hostility?

Great post and I agree. I see far too much of this on the site. I see people posting who often slam her posts instead of hitting ignore.

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fayerody said:
((((Rhapsody))) it is impossible for you to post here without being attacked by people who disagree with you. i wasn't the least bit interested in what you posted and i answered "no" to the poll. i didn't e.mail anyone. i have the power to see or not see a movie. i'm not going to legislate what others see or what they buy. but i couldn't care less about where or how you posted it. all of the screaming about it being religious is just that......some people like to hear themselves berate others........finding fault.....

having said that, i think it would be respectful for members here who receive a lot of support for their threads to either stay out of threads, written by people they have a beef with, or post something supportive.

THIS IS A MENTAL HEALTH FORUM. A SUPPORT FORUM. IF, someone here feels so strongly about something as the thread that Rhapsody started (meaning Rhapsody).......give it some space........

i'm sick of seeing her threads ripped.

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I'm not a Christian and I often feel triggered and angered by the Christianity-related posts - they usually make me feel like someone is imposing their religion on me. But in your post, Rhapsody, I don't see anything of the kind. There was only a mention that the girl was from the Christian family. I also don't see it like you are making people send that email - it's an individual's choice. And if someone actually decided to send it you gave the example what could it look like. I also don't feel you are stirring a conflict. If people were not interested in sending anything they could just leave the thread alone.

I too find porn distasteful, especially when it involves child abuse and therefore I don't watch it. I doubt sending an email is going to stop concerns from supporting such events because porn market is one of the most profitable investments nowadays. Plus it's not prohibited so it's not violating the law. But as someone rightly pointed out in another thread my morals are something more than criminal code so I agree that it at least shouldn't involve underage actors.

Everything I said is only my opinion of course.

ok i will say it again in a language you may understand, the entire thread posted is utter rubbish, and full of untruths, the tag line of the thread blames hollywood for the film when it is a independant film studio, first untruth, noware in the film does it show a "12-year-old shown in a disturbing rape scene," granted it is implyed but is not shown, second untruth, and it is in keeping within the context of the film, written and directed by a woman by the way, 3rd were does it mention that there is a conection to child porn, other than the fact that it was investigated by ther police after complaints from religious groups, and no evidence was found to warrant ANY prosecution, something she failed to mention even though the link was on the same page has the one she posted.

quote" Just my two cents...... my thoughts on the matter, and btw I NEVER have liked these types of movies/flims even when I was not saved - I felt the same way when I was just a mere human being trying to live a peaceful live with out smut and sick sexual fantasies coming to life (on the big screen) for it is hurting people / children. end quote"

if you cant see the religious context in this statement then i must be halucinating

your all so happy to jump on the poor rhapsody being bashed wagon, if she posted something which is untrue or unproven without checking out the full facts other than a email from a religious group she is trying to put across her religious veiws, then she should not post until she knows the full facts or at least investigate it a little further before posting triggering material, did she read the full bio of the film? who knows, but if she did i doubt she would have posted the thread in the first place, here is the bio again for you to peruse before your retorts to this post

http://festival.sundance.org/filmgui...aspx?film=4694

i suggest you read the full contents of both threads and the links and then post your responce before you all jump down my neck again

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SeptemberMorn said:
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I am not for sure what you mean by me confronting my present abuser..... for there is NONE.

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IMHO, this is your first thinking error. I can't and won't discuss it any further because you shared it with me in PM. But you might want to think about the "smut" in your home.

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I only have this to say:

Please grow up Sept...... for what you are talking about STOPPED long AGO - 5 years ago and YOU know that. I will not cont' to condemn my husband for a wrong he has clearly repented of (and) that he has clearly changed from..... SO why are you?

AND - there you just went and did what you have so often complained and attacked others for doing..... YOU talked about a private PM in the open FORMS. Hmm - what shall I think now?

PLUS.....
What can I say but the truth and what history here on PC states, but that YOU are usually the ones that attacks and often try to put me down at every turn and with any chance you see - plus I and others have seen this same pattern being repeated toward other PC members on here - and by whom but YOU!!
................................................................... Why is that?

In my observation here - YOU and Mellor are the only ones that see any thing wrong in my post (which by the way was nothing more than a copy of an e-mail sent to me by a non-Christian friend, and not that of a website being copied) and the large majority of PC have been very supportive of ME on this one.

Hmm - so once again it really must be about a PROBLEM you need to deal with and not so much about a problem that I have.... all I have done here is to share a situation with others and then I left it along - were as YOU and Mellor stirred the pot and IMO over nothing.... this is a common occurrence that I and many others here on PC have seen much to often .... I wonder why that is?

Rhapsody -

I don't know about others but I've read everything before responding. And besides you accused her of having "religious moral views" even before she said what you quoted.

Oh, Rhap! Please stop. You're only digging yourself in deeper. Check out the following link:


http://forums.psychcentral.com/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Board=relationships&amp;Number=400674&amp;Forum=All_Forums&amp;Words=sexual%20addiction&amp;Searchpage=0&amp;Limit=25&amp;Main=397969&amp;Search=true&amp;where=bodysub&amp;Name=9948&amp;daterange=1&amp;newerval=&amp;newertype=w&amp;olderval=3&amp;oldertype=m&amp;bodyprev=#Post400674]Rhapsody - Need HELP!! (advice on matter with my son)

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Suzy5654 said:
I can't believe the hostility & mean postings that came out of a simple post by another PC re: current movies. I see the thread has been stopped. I guess I can see why so many people are dropping out of PC. I think I may have to be one of them, too. I can't stand seeing someone being picked on for an issue that was important to her.

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fayerody said:
((((Rhapsody))) it is impossible for you to post here without being attacked by people who disagree with you. i wasn't the least bit interested in what you posted and i answered "no" to the poll. i didn't e.mail anyone. i have the power to see or not see a movie. i'm not going to legislate what others see or what they buy. but i couldn't care less about where or how you posted it. all of the screaming about it being religious is just that......some people like to hear themselves berate others........finding fault.....

having said that, i think it would be respectful for members here who receive a lot of support for their threads to either stay out of threads, written by people they have a beef with, or post something supportive.

THIS IS A MENTAL HEALTH FORUM. A SUPPORT FORUM. IF, someone here feels so strongly about something as the thread that Rhapsody started (meaning Rhapsody).......give it some space........

i'm sick of seeing her threads ripped.

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Raynaadi said:


I just don't post if I disagree or if my first thoughts are ones of hostility.

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seeker1950 said:
Good for you, Pat....I haven't been here for two months and am relieved to see someone speaking in a balanced and honest way about what is/has been going on here!
Patty

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Poetrylover said:
Sigh! Is it supposed to be like this? Don't you all hear the alarm signal???!!! People are LEAVING this place! Why?! Because they once came here for support and to give support, but the support turned into something else... bitterness, hard words, words to push others down to the ground... No wonder members are leaving!!! Hello.... it's time to wake up and smell the coffee!
Actually, I'm thinking of leaving too. This isn't the place I once joined... It's sad...

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sparkling said:
I'm not a Christian and I often feel triggered and angered by the Christianity-related posts - they usually make me feel like someone is imposing their religion on me.
But in your post, Rhapsody, I don't see anything of the kind. There was only a mention that the girl was from the Christian family. I also don't see it like you are making people send that email - it's an individual's choice. And if someone actually decided to send it you gave the example what could it look like. I also don't feel you are stirring a conflict. If people were not interested in sending anything they could just leave the thread alone.

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* * * * * * * * * * * *

Thanks for the SUPPORT!!! - I am a FRIEND and I hope to keep YOU ALL as a FRIEND as well [/b]

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

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SeptemberMorn said:
Oh, Rhap! Please stop. You're only digging yourself in deeper. Check out the following link:

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SORRY my DEAR........................... but that was NOT my husband. SO no shovel needed.

Rhapsody -

Rhap, I'm so sorry you can't accept any kind of support without fighting tooth and nail. I hate to do this, but I'm not going to allow you to blatantly lie and make ME out the liar. I'm really, really sorry for you!

Here are your words, Rhapsody:

Sigh! Breath! Sigh!
As many of you already know on here I have been thru some really bad sexual abuse as a child, it started at age 2 and continued until I was 12 years old, and then I had to deal with sexual abuse happening again as a young adult. And I have had to deal with my husband cheating on me once before we married and with him being an out right womanizer in public and with him having a ten year battle with porn during our marriage, that which only lead to his rejection of me during his struggle. And of course their is the issue of my dad leaving ME, my mom and our family for a younger woman..... the baby sitter (he cheated often and was never around or worth trusting.

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SeptemberMorn said:
Oh, Rhap! Please stop. You're only digging yourself in deeper. Check out the following

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And - - - - - if YOU would have read it all YOU would have seen that I wrote this

My first post was not written so much because I am afraid of what my son might become if he continues to look at porn (even though the thoughts are there in me), but it was rather a release from all that is inside of me on this subject based on my own past sexual abuse and the porn issue with my husband..... I
wrote what I did out of need to VENT so that I could deal with this matter based on my son only and not from my own inner fears / wounds.

fANd.... any one who has read my past post as to support and not to hate or attack me - they would know that I spoke of the porn being in the PAST and not the present.

AND - not that I owe you an explanation, but we later found that SMUT to a friend of the friend I talked about that was here at my house, and NOT that of my sons or husband.

I personally fear to share any more here on PC and YOU have just shown the entire website the main reason WHY....... feelings from both me and other members.

Rhapsody -

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SeptemberMorn said:
Here are your words, Rhapsody:

Sigh! Breath! Sigh!
As many of you already know on here I have been thru some really bad sexual abuse as a child, it started at age 2 and continued until I was 12 years old, and then I had to deal with sexual abuse happening again as a young adult. And I have had to deal with my husband cheating on me once before we married and with him being an out right womanizer in public and with him having a ten year battle with porn during our marriage, that which only lead to his rejection of me during his struggle. And of course their is the issue of my dad leaving ME, my mom and our family for a younger woman..... the baby sitter (he cheated often and was never around or worth trusting.



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YES.................. that is what I said, and the words used was my husband having a ten year battle with porn during our marriage - and we have been married for 20 years, 21 this April......... the ten years spoken about was from the mid part of our marraige, not the last.

Rhapsody -

To everyone keeping up with this thread;

I'm truly sorry this has happened. I never meant for it to go this far. Maybe I'm triggered by the accusations flung at me, I'm not sure. However, I have an extreme need to bring the truth to the fore.

Again, I am truly sorry for all this nastiness. I apologize.

Here if YOU want to pick at everything I have ever talked about here on PC concerning my husband and his past porn usage..... here is a LINK to my very first post ever made.... to what brought me here in the first place..... Needing help from NOT BEING ABLE TO COPE WITH THE AFTER EFFECTS LEFT IN ME FROM WHEN IT ALL had STOPPED - speaking of the past PORN use, not present.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

LINK: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showf...t=1&PHPSESSID=

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SeptemberMorn said:
To everyone keeping up with this thread;

I'm truly sorry this has happened. I never meant for it to go this far.
Maybe I'm triggered by the accusations flung at me, I'm not sure.
However, I have an extreme need to bring the truth to the fore.

Again, I am truly sorry for all this nastiness. I apologize.

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Hmm -

Well, isn't it strange that all the CONFLICT evoked upon many members on here always have YOU at the center of it all if not among the few that start the CONFLICT....... and why is it that I often here YOU are saying I AM SORRY this has happened after YOU started the conflicting replies in the first place, or added to them... instead of just walking away if YOU did not agree with a post from me or another?

Food for Thought.......

P.S.
Please if you few are going to send me a hateful PM please do not send it and have your say and then block ME from my say...... that is just plain rude.

P.S.
Please show ME one post on here where I started the conflict / fight...... and not that of where I just responded to an attack from another.

P.S.
Why is it that YOU can be mentally ill here on PC and yet I cannot - I am not allowed? - I have feelings and hurt just like you.

Thanks.......
Rhapsody -

..................................... I am out of this one, for I will not be buried for NOTHING!!!

i dont see you proving anything wrong that i said in my last post in the first paragraph rhap concerning the validity of the original thread, why is that? is it because you are wrong? or even your take on the link i posted with the bio of the film explaining the film and its objective. if you had read the bio before you posted the original link you might have thought twice about posting it, or posted it in a differant context, every time we have differed in our opinions you cry foul and say i am attacking you, when in fact i am proving my point with proof that can be substansiated (sp) and not ill informed bigoted veiws.

Very, very interesting. i saw this thread about an hour ago, and an hour ago began reading it, along with the replies. i found myself shaking my head in places, ABSOULTELY DISGUSTED to read such nastiness and harsh behaviour from members that ALL have status on PC, ie Veteran Member, Poohbah etc. thus raises the question "why do you all think it is only you members who have been here a while that cause all this unnecessary hate". answer: because you are all abusing your right and respect of this site. i dont see any new members being so hateful and harsh. im ashamed, to be honest, ashamed that i am a member on a site full of people who use their status for the wrong reasons.

i too grew up in a harsh and hateful world along with each and every one of you. ive seen things i shouldnt have seen, heard things i shouldnt have. do you see me going around being so harsh to others? no! why? because i RESPECT people. i treat others how i want to be treated. nothing more, nothing less. if i have an issue with someone, i either keep my mouth shut as i know if i said the wrong thing it could do so much damage, or i gently put across my opinioon in a non-threatening way.

i live by the rule: "if you have nothing nice or positive to say, say nothing".

i think it is a disgrace that so many members who should be looked up upon by the newer members are hell-bent on making PC such a conflicted place. im beginning to think that the titles you have are irrelevant and wrong. all of you (not just one or two) are showing yourselves in a bad light over somehting that could so easily be diffused.

leanr to grow up, treat eachother with respect - whether or not you agree with a statement - and just walk away from it if you are triggered. we all know what it is like to be triggered, and we know how upsetting it is, yet we purposely trigger others. why? i might get in trouble for this, and some could even say im being hypocritical by writing this post, but i think it is very childish and selfish.

theres a really good tool to use on this site, its called the CLOSE button in the top right of your page. if you are in anyway upset or triggered by a post, close the browser and DEAL WITH IT. it is so straight forward.

i think each of you should stop this right here, right now. once and for all. look at yourselves and ask "am i being ME, am i helping others, do i deserve my title here. do i deserve for new members to look up to me and respect me". from where i am sat the asnwer ALL of you should come up with to that question is "no".

i think i will get in trouble for this, but to be honest, i dont care. i have seen just about enough of this, and people are leaving PC because of this, which raises the other question "how many non-members come here thinking of signing up but seeing all this hatred, therefore deciding not to sign up, and thus still living a hard life full of mental illness and misery". i just wish you could see the damage you are all doing. un-necessarily too.

i am grateful, for this thread has shed some light upon me as to what some of you really are like. it seems very venomous. im trying hard to be naive, by telling myself this isnt what people really are like, that they are momentarily caught up in an arguement. but i have no reason to think that at the moment. im a forgiving, caring and kind person, yet my patience is dropping so much, and i think it is an outrage you allow yourselves to act this way when it is clearly not needed.

i ask for all of you to take a long hard look at YOURSELVES, no one else. YOU. when, and only when, YOUR life is perfect, can you begin judging and critisisng those around you.

im sorry to be so honest and brutal. i dont like having to be like this, but when i see members who are "veteran members", "grand poohbahs", and all those, wreak havoc upon such a good site, i get annoyed, and i felt i HAD to say this. up until now i have kept my mouth shut, but i cant anymore.

simon

On that note, I think we'll lock the thread.

There was a great hope for this thread to allow for a working out and understanding as some have called for in the past. However, there's a limit to which we can allow another member, or members, to be hurt/attacked/upset in the process and in a public manner.

If something becomes personal for you, sit back for a second and think about it past the initial reaction. If it still feels personal, PM the member or a mod/admin.

We, as members working to maintain a wonderful website like this, all having a role and responsibility here. We have a responsibility to ALL this site's members. When we bring the personal to the public forums and drag everyone who happens to click on the thread into the yuck (even the new members), it doens't feel good to most.

KD