Backing out of PC

I do not recommend using private message for that. If you are not absolutely sure the person wants you to send a message, don't. It might be seen as stalking even if it is only one single message.

Or four. And it was creepy.

I agree with personal responsibility, but I also agree that some things will set off people. I don't like bullies or people who ask for advice and then slam a person (especially a new person who just wants to be helpful) who offers heartfelt advice and support. I've learned to avoid certain threads because of it....and always try to be supportive as I can. I'm not always as successful as I would like to be, but I try.

Massive *hugs* all.

I could be wrong but I kind of notice that everything on the internet (and forums) can run in cycles. When the News and current events (including weather) get really bad and/or negative for an extended period people can get into a funk, get stressed-out, become negative and vent frustrations in the wrong way and the wrong place. And vice versa. I know I've done that on Yahoo. I think facebook is one of the only safe places to post because no one is anonymous. You have to take some posts in forums with a grain of salt.

Quote:

I'm big on personal responsibility.

I'm slowly starting to do this. Facebook made me realize this. And I always kind of thought that life was a little better before the internet and telecommunications revolution began. I think there's a large learning curve during big changes. It will take a while until things get policed better and people start using these things more positively.

This is a great place to bounce thoughts off one another, exchange information and to spend time. I hope some people here have changed your mind about the forum. It's pretty civilized here compared to some places.

I have noticed a lot more lately that when posting a differing opinion....it doesn't just meet with the fact that the opinion is differing but it meets with ATTACK......but I have found that to be the same out IRL.......so they are not being anything that they aren't IRL on here......it doesn't even become civil discussion.....it becomes ATTACK for what you believe even when there are supporting facts........so those areas.....I also no longer have anything to do with here. It is sad that the one's who scream tolerance the loudest are the least tolerant of others who think differently than they do........

Agree.....I have areas where I feel safe.....& that is where I stay & have nothing to do with those areas where I find that kind of posting. I have found that I don't even read it because it's frustrating to read all the one sided comments without feeling it safe to voice a differing opinion without being attacked.....& I am not a very sensitive person so for me to feel attacked.......it really takes something to get to that point & it definitely goes past just a difference in opinion discussion which I have been used to all my life.

Have seen it so often in the world lately that it doesn't surprise me to find it here also......so I just avoid that area & those people & cherish the wonderful people that I do know here on PC who don't choose to post in that manor.

Maybe it would be helpful to keep it real here and distinguish between an attack and questioning someones statements and asking for facts to support those statements?
If I said that my neighborhood was overrun by unicorns and flying rabbits would it be so unreasonable for people to ask to see some evidence?

I would just ask for directions

But then, i DO have a cape!

I am sad to hear about all these problems. Please, please report folks to the mods and Admin who send mean, inappropriate private messages and cause other problems. Don't just take it from these bullies. These mean members frankly should not be allowed to continue to do that. And nothing can be done about them unless they are reported. Okay? By the way, the vast, vast majority of our members are not this way. Only a handful at any given time are causing trouble. And we have thousands and thousands of members.

As DocJohn said, we might sometimes seem to be overly cautious here, but we care about our members and want them to have good, positive experiences here. (I speak as a former mod and now Senior Liaison.)

I have sometimes cautioned depressed people not to spend too much time in the depression forum. I rarely go to my diagnosis forums now, except to do my work as a liaison. I play games, talk to my friends, get involved in social groups, and so on. But when I do need help and support, I know I can get it.

Skeezyks, I remember on another site that I got a message from a moderator that my post was off topic. At the time I posted it, I was really wound up. I am thankful that folks are watching over Internet sites and keeping members in line.

As someone said, folks here are generally caught up in our own issues, and wow, even mentally ill. (I have bipolar and GAD.) I am glad to read that the posters here are saying that this site is a generally "tame" one nonetheless.

Okay, back to work.....

Thanks to Snake Charmer and Trav for a reminder that I very much needed. It's up to me to take care of myself. Trav's comment about being our own parents got me thinking.

the results of those thoughts....
- I used to have a quote in my e-mail signature "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." I believe in standing up for what I believe in.
- It's okay to stand up for what I believe in, but there comes a time when I need to say agree to disagree. I some times tell the kids I work with "I chose not to argue with you about that."
- There is a part - literally, she's an alter - that's a scared little girl waiting for someone to rescue her. Years ago, around the time I integrated, I promised her I would take care of her. I realized I'd slipped into "victim mode" and was waiting for someone to "protect" me. Well, it's up to me to do that.

The end result of all of this is that I've stepped up to the plate and am caring for myself. There are certain forums and/or threads that bother me. It's up to me to be the responsible adult and stay out of those forums/threads.

Hugs to Trav and Snake Charmer for the needed reminder.

I, too, have received a few "slaps". There is a particular forum where the "attackers" tend to hang out, and I rarely go there any more.

I am sorry for your pain, Skeezyks. I hope you were not triggered as I was.

Please don't think I'm being snarky...this a legitimate question. I have had issues with others here in the past and also had posts removed. When I attempted to get any closure or clarification, I was given a warning. If I persisted, the warnings got more intense. I always thought one was not supposed to refer to anything the
mods said or did. (Even when you're trying to explain yourself) I'm confused.... I'm very sorry this is how you're feeling, Skeezyks. I hope you continue posting. I wish someone could explain why this thread is ok, however.(in light of everything I've been told)
Skeezyks, please don't think I'm complaining about your thread. I'm just a bit confused by it.

I'm sad to read this!! You are always thoughtful, helpful and nonjudgmental.
I hope you can stick around.

I've seen people on PC attack others, but I think it is because they are in a really bad place. It certainly isn't a reflection of you. But I do know what you mean!

I think because no specific posting or situations are being specified & the comments are being said in a more general way about things that have happened...no direct finger pointing.....that is probably why it's been ok so far...just my thinking on why

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I577 using Tapatalk 2

We sometimes allow threads of this nature when it addresses a larger issue in the community that we believe needs some public discussion so our members understand the best course of behavior.

Of course, sometimes taking time off or away from a place is a healthy, good decision. But we also encourage members to report specific issues as they occur. We can't intervene in all issues, but we can if there's been a pattern of behavior with a particular member, or they're violating the community guidelines.

Best,
DocJohn

Skeezyks I really hope you can feel comfortable here, again.
Thanks to those who explained this post to me.

Calista im glad youre still hanging in there youre one of the first people i met when i joined pc. Youre a main part of what makes it feel like home (in a good way!) for me.

(((((((( Calista )))))))
You're one of the people who make pc feel like home in a good way for me also.

Wow! I can't express how much this means to me.

Sorry for hijacking Skeezyks thread but I have to say thanks! (Fuzzy))) and (((Hankster))) you both are so special to me and everyone here.

Dear Skeezyks-

I can remember several times when you were supportive and most kind to me and I'm glad to have the opportunity to tell you.

I have not posted in a few weeks, except for one to thank my friends, and it was because that at the peak of my illness, I too, feared I would use the wrong words. Sometimes this is an enjoyable place to be. But the cliques and the blowhards leave me cold. I also feel resentment at the way I've been treated at times. I won't go into it here, but a small group of us had a really worthy idea that could have helped a lot of members if only 'someone' had given their support. I was both shocked and saddened that it never came.

It also saddens me that I can't find ay support in the forum regarding my own illness, because only a few people will break out of the clique to answer sincere questions. There are some that will drone on forever, off topic, and I seldom even bother to read it anymore because these posters are treated with kid gloves.

I have also felt myself pulling away, and the only reason I stay is because my friends are always supportive and kind. Thank you so much to those who understood that there are just times when our illness makes it difficult and often impossible, to participate. I was recently given a major change in diagnoses, due to testing, and it dropped on me like a ton of bricks.

My hope is that those with something positive and supportive will stay and that the same 'rules' will apply to everyone. I also have been stalked and battered by members with an inferior intellect and it seems they shout the loudest.

Thank you for starting this thread, Skeezyks. Please feel free to weigh in on anything I write, for I value and respect your opinions.

(((((((( Skeezyks )))))))

Thanks for this thread and an opportunity to speak

(As another poster noted, it hurts when an incorrectly phrased sentence means immediate rejection ...... )

Love and peace,
Fuzzy

Sorry, Calista+12. I have no answer to offer you... Oh yes, I'm still here. I had no intention of leaving... I just felt the need to vent. It's over & done with now... I've moved on.

(I do apologize for the delayed reply...)

Thanks for this insight, eskielover: This Thread really wasn't about any one particular incident or person. It was intended to be an expression of my concern & frustration over the "fact", I always seem to end up getting myself into trouble. As Jimmie Buffett sang at the end of his song: "Margaritaville": "... but I know... it's my own damn fault."

[quote=Calista+12;3959738]Skeezyks I really hope you can feel comfortable here, again.

I do...

Thank you so much for your kind words, Lady Courtesan. I should apologize for not responding to your reply sooner. I've been here on PC less recently for reasons not related to PC at all. So, until today, I didn't realize so many additional replies had been added to my Thread. My best wishes to you...

We're glad you're still here!

Skeezyks, Thanks for your friendship. It would be lovely to meet up with you on a different site, because you're an AWESOME person. Best to you, my friend~