[PhilthyRich]

I have no idea what is wrong me me honestly, not to long ago like 3 years ago I took 120 400mg seroquels and survived some how I meant to not live on purpose I closed up all my doors and windows locked everything in my house up I then wrote all over my walls saying goodbye Im sorry for any problems I have caused you, I knew I was going to die I didn't want to but I felt I had to I had to watch documentarys on reincarnation to talk myself into it.

Well it didn't work I was in the ICU for four days and somehow made it my sister kicked my door down or something and found me convulsing and foaming at the mouth dying, the doctor said that if she had found me 2 minutes later I would be dead. I remember people ****ing with me in the ER like someone came up to me and took 7 vials of my blood it looked like this kid I had problems with my whole life in a dirty uniform no matter how hard noone can convince me this isn't true I believe it is and saw it with my own eyes.

Anyway I went to the ER got out of it went to a mental hospital for 4 weeks then to a halfway house where I met a man who told me my father isn't my real dad and the hells angels are watching me hard, he also told me I was under the watchful eyes of the hells angels which freaked me out he had a bussiness card that looked like obamas but any tweeker could have made it. He told me he worked for the airforce and told me the CIA is watching me and I've been in space at hanger 18 muliple times. I would normally blow this off except I have head lucid dreams about being in tanks in spaceships and on military bases or in aircrafts but its blurry. He said the FBI CIA and other organizations are following me but I didn't do anythiing I can't figure it out. if he's a crackpot dumbass tweeker house was he able to know I have been in space and tanks and at military bases it really just makes me wonder am I under somesort of CIA secret project or something because these dreams just keep coming and are really real like one time I was in a tank on a spaceship and it felt real.

Does the CIA or other military forces have technology like this to where they can steal people's psyches out of REM sleep I keep waking up with bumps on me in weird places I need to know whats going on because its driving me crazy I feel like there is a chip in my brain or something sending off signals.

Yeah I know it sounds crazy but isn't it possible? The people I know especially one man is extrememly powerful and has billions of dollars he could make anything happen and he's tied to Nasa and freemason stuff what should I do it sounds like all this is in my head but when u **** with someone who works for NASA and was in the airforce it makes sense they might have some sort of technology noone knows about.

My whole life I have been interested in everything and anything is it possible maybe all this is true and I just downloaded the wrong ebook or something because I feel like theres cameras in my house poeple are watching me I haven't done any drugs at all thats the scary part that makes me think this is all real because I haven't used any drugs at all in over 2 years, how can I check if the FBI or CIA is watching me I just want these delusions which seem so real to go away please help me thanks

[kaliope]

hi philthy rich
you are just coming down from a pretty intense experience and someone in a halfway house, who I imagine has pretty intense mental health issues of their own, plants a whole bunch of ideas in your head. they hit on some common themes everybody thinks on from time to time and set those delusions off for you. you really need to talk to your pdoc aobut what is going on to get control before you have a break. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Hello PhilthyRich: Welcome to PsychCentral. PC is a wonderful place to gain support, learn strategies for handling mental health struggles, & make internet friends. We're glad you're here!

About 3 years ago, I guess it must have been now, I swallowed a whole bunch of prescription med's in a bid to end my life. I don't even know what I took. I had a shoebox full of med's & I just started swallowing. I was told, when the emergency responders arrived, I was already basically gone. They revived me.

Anyway, for some time thereafter, I also had delusions. I had previously worked in a unit of a mental health program. And while I was on a medical floor, before I was transferred to psych, I imagined the entire staff of the psych unit I had worked on had been transferred, en mass, to this medical floor. I recall how humiliated I felt knowing all of these individuals I had worked with as peers were now going to be taking care of me & telling me what to do. And this was not the only delusion I suffered. I also had absolutely terrifying dreams for quite some time. And the worst part of it was none of the professionals who were caring for me ever suggested the possibility what I was experiencing were hallucinations. So, for quite some time, I continued to presume they were real.

I obviously don't know you. But I feel pretty confident in saying the things you're experiencing are not real. Please talk with your psychiatrist, therapist or other mental health professionals you're working with about your concerns. My best wishes to you...

[Fuzzybear]