used weather as an excuse....

<font color="purple">....... to not go my dr appt to get the blood tests started to see if maybe I would be ok to take carbamazepine.... I have an extreme adversion again to trying it... went from uncomfy to ok with it to back to being very uncomfy with it.....just seems like too heavy of a med for what I am looking for help with... not sure I can explain this but will try...... see what happened (as I posted in the bipolar section) is I went to dr to get a perscribe for a less expensive med, I was taking zoloft and I lost my insuarnce again and 78.00 a month was just too much.... Altho it did work very well, again for what I wanted it to work for, my anxiety, s/i, and basic depression..... But the dr, one I had not seen before but in the same circle where I go, was going to try paxil again but once we started taking about my history he said, oh no b/c of the bipolar.... he prescribed risperdol but that was twice as much, and now he wants to try me on carbamazepine.... but like I said I am more focused on my top 3 bothersome symptoms and he is more concerned with the mood stability.......

First here's a summary of what I have actually been diagnosed as:

bipolar
anxiety/panic disorder
OCD
Borderline Schizophrenia
Borderline Personality Disorder
Dissociative Disorder
PTSD
Self Injurer

For almost 20 yrs now I have taking a slew of different meds..... all pretty much from the same group: paxil, prozac, zoloft, wellbutrin just to name a few...... most worked great for a period of time and some not so great like klonopin and effexor.... Now when I say great I mean the pieces that were more bothersome for me: anxiety, S/I , depression..... The other stuff even tho at times interferred with my life and family dont seem to be as important to me as "my top 3" symptoms as I call them.... I guess I dont really see from those who are around me points of view as being a "needy" issue that needs to tended too.... Is any of this making any sense what so ever????

I dont know.....
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