Please keep responses supportive

"This is, first and foremost, a self-help support community. That means if your message (post or PM) isn't about offering support to another person or asking for it, it's potentially not appropriate for our community."

Sometimes we don't like people here. That's OK. Sometimes we get angry with another's actions here. That's OK. There are appropriate ways in which to work those types of situations...contact a mod/admin, place them on ignore, take a break for a couple of days, etc.

An inappropriate reaction in this community to deal with the above would be to post to another members thread just to get in a "jibe" or a biting remark. This is referred to as flaming.

If you flame another, it reflects only upon you (while interrupting the experience of potentially many more than just the member(s) for which your remarks are intended)...with the membership as well as with the mod/admin working the situation. Continued flaming, biting remarks could see a suspension of accounts.

If another acts inappropriately toward you or another member here, instead of responding (which carries the situation out further), contact a mod/admin.

We're a support community. If your response to another isn't offering support, move away from it, click that "red x" walk away from the computer, etc.

Members are responsible for their own actions, including those where they act out by not using the tools we have here, or heeding the guidelines in place for this community.

Please, everyone, concentrate on the MUCH good, healing and help that is found here in its various forms...giving away little energy to that which might be displeasing to us by moving away from it.

KD

Thanks for posting this.

Jbug

Thank you KD.....This is exactly what I was trying to say, but you said it much better than I. Thank you thank you thank you!

Hugsssssss
J

Thank you Kimmy.

thank you VERY much, KD. much appreciated........pat

I do want to say that this isn't about any particular thread or situation, but more about how I see, time and again, flaming or unsupportive posting when it's really just not necessary.

We don't have to post to every thread...only those we feel a kinship or positive attraction to do so.

KD

and there is the wonderful ignore button.

Yes, and the option to only view certain forums.

Thanks, Kimmy and thanks to Pat and Rayna for reminding us about the ignore button and that we can choose to not see the forums that may trigger us.

Jan

Thank you for this reminder KD. I think everyone was hurt in the last go 'round, and for what?

It is difficult to see others throwing stones and not have them admit it, or even see it. The tendency to try and reason with them is strong...and perpetuates the argument.

I, for one, WILL do better.

I absolutely agree - and just because someone disagrees with you, it does not mean that they are wrong. Just that everyone has different perspectives.

There is no right or wrong sometimes, just differences.

Everyone's individual experiences shape their world view. I hope that more understanding (if not agreement) is encouraged moving forward

There is lessons in everything and with every lesson, we learn.

Thanks kimmydawn. I'll try to do better too.

It's hard guys, I know.

Sometimes I sit here, just shaking my leg or head, or sometimes both at the same time...lol.

It's fine, natural and healthy to discuss with differing opinions. That's how we increase our knowledge and understanding, and "widen our horizons".

I'm not saying, "You must show agreement in every response...that's supportive. What I'm trying to say is that there's going to be alot of disagreement, but it can be stated respectfully and without flaming/biting comments. Sometimes, at the end of the day, we have to agree to disagree as well.

There will be those times that we're so empassioned about something we disagree with that we're not sure our response won't be biting. It's at those times, we pull away, read a few other threads, take a walk, get a drink, something, then come back and try it again...or decide not to. If ever feeling strong emotion and have concern, don't hesitate to PM a mod or admin to ask their thoughts as well. Threads don't, 99.9% of the time, disappear. One can even reply a week later, so so.

If there's someone that you find has brought about strong negative emotions/reactions time and time again, don't hesitate to place them on ignore. Your experience should be for you, and as you can help/support others...not giving lots of energies in that which is upsetting.

The same goes with forums that just really get under your skin or trigger. A member can choose which forums they want to view.

Make the most of your PC experience by giving/taking what helps and feels positive and refusing what takes energies and creates anxiety or anger. It can really be empowering to actually utilize the tools we have to create our experience here, just as it would be in real life. Feeling empowered, and experiencing the same, was one of the biggest tools that helped me in my healing.

I'm using the "quick reply" so this isn't meant for you, nelleus. I appreciate your help in making PC a great place with focus on support and healing.

KD

Thank you!!! I wasn't sure if I'd been saying the right things. Thank you for the conformation.

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drunksunflower said:
I absolutely agree - and just because someone disagrees with you, it does not mean that they are wrong. Just that everyone has different perspectives.

There is no right or wrong sometimes, just differences.

Everyone's individual experiences shape their world view. I hope that more understanding (if not agreement) is encouraged moving forward

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> > > I have often stated this exact thing here on PC - and this time I PRAY that many take it to heart and stop wounding unnecessarily with their words < < <

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

* * * * * * * *

P.S.

Food for Thought

As a Christian I often try to ask my self this before I react - post my reply.

<font color="purple"> + + + + + + + W.W.J.D. + + + + + + + </font>

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

one thing that bothers me the most is going into someone's thread, when they are in pain, and writing disruptive posts.

can anyone see any support, christianity, love, caring, in that???? i can't.

it makes me, at times, long for the "do not post to me" feature that is at other forums. but there's too much of a down side to that.

besides,i'm pretty hopeful that we're intuitive enough here to know when we're being nasty.

thank you again, KD, for bringing this up once more. xoxo pat

Good post Sky. I, also, will do better.

thank you for post KD , sometimes we all need to try to do better .