[newgirl2015]

Hello,

I don't usually reach out through online forums to get advice, but find it so necessary to reach out to you because I'm at a very low point in my life and I'm alone.

I want to be brief so hopefully someone can understand my situation and offer some advice. I'm a young woman in my 20s and was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2. I started medical school but had to leave after a few months because I couldn't study with hypomania. I couldn't sleep or concentrate so I didn't do well on my exams. I was failing so my professors said it would be best for me to take a leave, take time to recover and start again next year.

Of course all of that sounds a lot better than what it is. I had many embarrassing experiences for falling behind in school, my boyfriend broke up with me the day after I told him I have bipolar, and I had to isolate myself from school and classmates after taking my leave. It has not been easy to recover- even with medication and psychotherapy. My meds have worked to help me sleep more but I have felt depressed, low in energy, and just very very sad and hopeless. I used to be very energetic and loved to study, exercise and eat healthy. Right now it's difficult for me to just get out of the house and I'm eating poorly and unhealthy. I feel guilty and ashamed. I was a good student my whole life, and now I feel like a failure.

I'm wondering if there is anybody out there who had a similar obstacle in his/her life and was able to overcome it. I have been able to overcome a lot of adversity in my life, but had never felt so much fear and doubted myself so much to be able to get through this one. I hope someone can read this and give me a little bit of hope.

[AstridLovelight]

Hi newgirl, welcome to psychcentral!

I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. But there's always hope. It sounds and seems like you are motivated and willing to care for yourself. You can get through this time and thrive in life, I'm sure of it.

I just read a book which I enjoyed which you might also get something out of, if you haven't read it already. It's called An Unquiet Mind by Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison. It details her life with Bipolar, including her struggle with school (she was also in medical school) and accepting her diagnosis. She went through a great deal of adversity and is now a highly respected expert in her field. It's a beautifully written book.

I hope this is of some small help. Don't give up!

[jaynedough]

Hi newgirl2015,
Welcome to PC. I'm sorry you're going thru this. IDK how long you've been on the meds, but a lot of side effects lessen or go away after a while.

It sounds like you have a lot going for you that can help you succeed. You're young. Smart. Know how to apply yourself. Know the importance of proper nutrition and exercise. Those things are still a part of you. Bipolar d/o didn't make those things go away.

You have had it rough. But you're still trying.

I know the meds make me eat more; especially the ones that make me tried. Even more so when I first start a new drug. Since eating healthy and exercising are important to your health, mentally & physically, are there any changes you can make to help you feel better?

What has your pdoc said about the way you're feeling?

Again, I am so sorry you are going thru this. Don't give up.