[DechanDawa]

I have had four major depressions in my life, and many minor depressions. I have never had a "breakdown" or been hospitalized.

I don't remember how the other major depressions in my life felt. I was given medication such a benzodiazepam and once an antidepressant for 10 months but presently I am on no medications.

My situation now is different because I am all alone without anyone to call, and no friends or family nearby. I am not on medication. I have been working hard at a holistic program.

What I am wondering is could I all of a sudden feel worse, or become psychotic, or faint or have a panic attack I can't get out of??? I have never experienced anything like this.

I generally don't cry even when stressed so I can't use that as an indication. I am not having panic attacks. I am just severely, severely, severely, severely depressed.

I also want to know if anyone has had the experience of a depression suddenly getting much worse right before it starts to break up?

[Out There]

I have felt this numerous times - like dark nights of the soul or it's always darkest before the dawn.

The first time I wanted to hurt myself and I asked for help, the second time it was a friend that suggested I go to hte hospital.

During my graduate school I had near breakdown several times. I think for me it was crying what rescued me from having a complete breakdown. I cry easily.

As for your question if depression breaks up after getting much worse: for me, I think I gain strength from the deepness of my depression, because when depressed I do nothing, lie in bed all day long, eating/ drinking nothing until I have severe headache, and begin to think all these negative thoughts. Then, at some point and somehow, I force myself to do something to break this downward spiral pattern, like washing the dishes, go for a walk, shaving, having a shower, ... etc. Strangely enough, almost always these simple actions can help lift my mood, not completely eliminating the depression, but it becomes more manageable.

How are you doing today?

[x123]

I sometimes have horrible depression, and it leaves suddenly. It is like some gear is stuck in my brain, and everything starts piling up behind that stuck gear. Finally the pressure gets so great that the gear starts turning again, and the depression leaves instantly.

I only had one breakdown. I started feeling like things were strange a couple of days before it happened. People seemed to be acting strange, and I had an auditory hallucination. I hate flying, and I was also stressed about meeting a friend for a weekend. At the end of the weekend when I arrived home on the airplane, a passenger made a strange comment, and I suddenly saw the "explanation" for all that strangeness. I felt like a balloon that suddenly deflated. That is when I became extremely delusional. Luckily it only lasted a few weeks.

The lead-up to a breakdown is usually longer than two days. Sometimes it is months.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Nickname

During my graduate school I had near breakdown several times. I think for me it was crying what rescued me from having a complete breakdown. I cry easily.

As for your question if depression breaks up after getting much worse: for me, I think I gain strength from the deepness of my depression, because when depressed I do nothing, lie in bed all day long, eating/ drinking nothing until I have severe headache, and begin to think all these negative thoughts. Then, at some point and somehow, I force myself to do something to break this downward spiral pattern, like washing the dishes, go for a walk, shaving, having a shower, ... etc. Strangely enough, almost always these simple actions can help lift my mood, not completely eliminating the depression, but it becomes more manageable.

How are you doing today?

Wonderful post, Nick. I am doing much better today, thank you for asking.

[Rose76]

'Breakdown" isn't a term that doctors use anymore. It's possible to become severely depressed without ever being psychotic. It's often the case that persons who finally committed suicide were functioning competently right up until they ended their lives.

Being very depressed and having no emotional support is a dangerous place to be, whatever you want to call it. I would encourage you to see a doctor, preferably one who has attended you in the past when you were very depressed.

As bad as you feel, it certainly can get even worse. Don't wait for that. What you are describing is bad enough. Could you talk a little about what has been going on in your life lately?

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Rose76

'Breakdown" isn't a term that doctors use anymore. It's possible to become severely depressed without ever being psychotic. It's often the case that persons who finally committed suicide were functioning competently right up until they ended their lives.

Being very depressed and having no emotional support is a dangerous place to be, whatever you want to call it. I would encourage you to see a doctor, preferably one who has attended you in the past when you were very depressed.

As bad as you feel, it certainly can get even worse. Don't wait for that. What you are describing is bad enough. Could you talk a little about what has been going on in your life lately?

I made about 50 posts in a 24 hour period on PC and got lots of support and feel better now. Doctors might not use the word breakdown but everyone else does!~

People kind of understand what it means, which is really just a loss of function and I think I was asking at what point does one know they have a loss of function that warrants medical attention? This is really a relativistic question and can't be answered.

Maybe it is the person themselves who know best. That has to be the case if they are alone, as I am. I think I have popped out of the worse of it and I am not going back. I think I will look into some counseling to tide me over until I get myself socially reconnected.

I think your post was a great reminder that we don't have to wait. We can act. I waited too long and was in too much pain and it was completely unnecessary. I am in touch with my pdoc and her only advice is to exercise, and take a benadryl if I can't sleep. I need more than that.

Thanks

PS It is obviously dangerous to be emotionally isolated when depressed. Isn't that why so many people are addicted to alcohol, drugs, internet gambling and porn, SH, gaming, online shopping, and who knows what else? It is extremely difficult to solo come out of isolation and get the support one needs, when one is all alone. But for many people that is the only option. It doesn't help to make the person feel guilty about having gotten into that place, but unfortunately that is the kind of unhelpful help that gets extended. Maybe that's what happened to Robin Williams, who knows?

[Skeezyks]

The Skeezyks' moods tend to fluctuate on a day-to-day & week-to-week basis. There are no beginnings & no endings to them. But, every once in a while, there has been a sudden unexpected explosion after which he woke up in the hospital...