Way over reacted!

Oh man, this is so awful!

I consider myself an attachment parent, and we strive to use gentle dicipline.

We've been asking our 1.5 yr old not to scream, and sitting her down and asking her when she continues. We sit with her for a moment, and then tell her she may get up and go play.

My 5.5 yr old was playing with her and *he* was screaming. I asked him to stop, and told him why. He continued. I told him he'd sit in time out if he did it again, and said yet again "stop".

When he screamed again I over reacted I walked over to him grabbed him by the arm and yanked him up (he was sitting) and then walked him over to time out. He was obviously upset and scared, but that didn't stop me! I yelled at him that he is not to scream in the house and that he would sit in time out until I told him he could get up. Then I walked away because I realized what I'd done, but it hadn't sunk in yet.

I just started 10 mg of Lexapro today. If this had happend last week, I'd have probably seperated them and put him in his room with the door closed for a few minutes until he came out and told me he would stop screaming (which usually takes him all of 5 or 6 minutes, and he really will be done screaming)

Please tell me it's not the meds, I just started them! I know that if I can just 'reset' for a few minutes that I'll be calmer and can be more gentle with the kids.

i'm sorry that you're feeling badly right now about your reaction to your son. i know how we can do something suddenly and then regret it. did you talk to him abuot it?

i've never been on lexapro and know nothing about it. do you have a therapist to talk to? good luck, pat

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

Hang in there and know that you are going to get better.... and that what you did happens to even the best of parents at some time or another, but at least there is good in all this - You have seen what you must NOT do again plus it left you feeling bad concerning your negative action, and that is half the battle.

FYI - I personally give my self a few minute away from any stressful situation before I will act upon it - then I find that I am better equipped to handle the matter.......... Rationally.

(((((((((((((((((((((ibujari)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((( ibujari ))))))))))

What you did was not so horrible,especially if you haven't really hurt him, but just scared him, in fact it may be a reminder to him, to listen to his mom the next time.
You didn't yank his arm out of it's socket, I am assuming, right? It just scared him, kids on the playgrounds sometimes handle one another with so much more force.
I'm not saying kids should be abused, but parents do need to have the child know just that, you are the parent.
Time outs to some kids, is okay, or no big deal, unfortunately, their behaviour and defiance can trigger a parent to physical action, I do not say parents should beat kids, but a little old spanking never hurt any of us, and I mean "little" not a wallop. This is my my OWN opinion, I'm not looking for others to make replies to me how spankings cause emotional damage to kids or teach kids to spank. My personal feelings do not agree, I'm from an era, parent's didn't "sugar coat" things, so my take on things may be different. I respect your own feelings, and wish for no one to reply with some sort of debate.
I strayed from your point of your post, and I apologize.
Don't be hard on yourself, if you are triggered again, for a few minutes or seconds, step back and take a time out for yourself, to think before resorting to being physical.
It may not be the medication that caused this, it just may be the fact you are human, and kid's bad behaviour and/or defiance pushed your patience. If you are feeling that your patience is declining, call the prescribing doctor then, and tell them exactly what you are feeling,etc. and do it soon, it may be the med's dosage or a change in what kind of meds that may help you. My wishes for you, are patience,healing and innerpeace.
Please take care,
DE

((((((((((((((((( ibujari )))))))))))))))))))

Unfortunately no doctor will believe that any medicine you just began could affect you yet, and certainly not so severely. I believe you though, and it could be. Continue to monitor your feelings and don't allow them to build up if you can help it. Write things down when they happen or you think of weird stuff or so... so you have concrete examples for the doctor to "explain away" if they choose.

I'm sorry this happened. It does feel bad.

BTW I once pulled my nephew's arm out of socket by swinging him. Well, I don't believe I did it as much-older siblings were also doing that..but I got the blame So it can happen...some things just happen.

I agree completely with Darkeyes and Sky.

When my kids were growing up, I was much rougher with them that your description of your reaction to your son's defiance. I know that there were times I yanked on one of my kid's arm and never once dislocated anything.

The one big thing I learned, though, was to make sure that whatever discipline I enforced did not stem from MY anger or lack of patience. There were also plenty of times I had to count to 10, sometimes in another room, before I ACTED ON what had happened... not ACTED OUT. STOP, THINK, ACT has always worked great for me.

Hi I am new here so treat me tenderly !

I think that if you have admitted and are aware that what you have done is not right and that in the future you will try your hardest not to make the same mistake (you proberly will most of us parents normaly repeat and feel even worse as we are human) then you are there, yes you made a mistake but hey which one of us parents havent ? It is not the end of the world as no one has died and your child will recover (already has in all honesty) and I think you are a fantastic parent for allowing your child to reach that age without losing it before !

Thank you all. I could not reply the other day because I'm too new.
At any rate. even with a monster headache and some nausea this morning, today has been a better day. Yesterday was too, but my husband was home

My depression has caused me to react in some pretty over the top ways with my 9yr old ADHD son. I don't think you did anything other than be a good but tired parent.

Hope you feel better soon.