[DePressMe]

I love coming here—I love reading and posting in the various forums. I feel good about responding to a post when it is a page or less, but once it gets real long I get confused about what people are saying and what I should respond to—sometimes it seems like somebody has already said what I want to say or there are several “themes” going on. My poor little mind gets confused. But, then I feel like I am not being supportive I if don’t comment—esp if it is somebody I have “known.” That brings up my next point—I am scared to say too much because sometimes I feel confused about who is who—what person goes with what screen name. I know I am still new…it just seems like everybody knows everybody…but me. And, people are always supportive of me, so it seems like people know me—even if I can’t keep them straight. There are just so many people and so many forums, I get overwhelmed. Am I the only one that is like this?

[Christina86]

(((((((((((DePressMe))))))))))))))

I felt the exact same way when I came here - I thought that people knew each other and me coming in was barging in. Then I was afraid of hurting anyone, and then forgetting who was who and what everyone's "mini life story" was so I could be the most helpful to them when they needed it.

It gets really confusing sometimes!

Eventually it got easier, but the minute I "leave" or cut down on the amount of time I'm here - new people join and I don't get much of an oppurtunity to get to know them better.

It's just a very big supportive site, with a lot of members - and a very good number of active people!

I say don't worry about it, you're being supportive in your own way and that makes you a very good person. Don't be afraid to say what someone else has said, that just validates whatever is being said

But yeah, perfectly normal as I see it.

[nothemama8]

anything you have to say is important, if it has already been said, feel good that you see that your opinion is supportive
welcome
I think we've all felt the same until we have been here longer
Angie

[darkeyes]

I think it happens to many of us, due to the enormity of this growing website.
I know it happens to me, and with me now developing a fading memory, I find I mix up situations and then reply to what has been replied to, or I mix up with who posted/replied.
Don't feel overwhelmed, it happens to many if not all of us.
Your posts/replies are welcomed here, as well as you.

(((((((( DePressMe )))))))))))

[Raynaadi]

Yeah when I first came I never thought I'd be "one of the crowd". Just like in the real world, it takes time for everyone to get to know you. There are so many people here its hard to keep everyone straight. I still get confused with members who have similar screennames lol. Don't worry about feeling overwhelmed and you don't have to feel like you need to reply to every post! Give time time and keep posting!!!

[January]

When I came here, I stuck to chat. I got so confused, especially with three members who had similar names. It seemed like everyone knew everyone and I had no clue who they were.

Give yourself time. I think you're doing wonderfully.

Hugs,

Jan

[InACorner]

I understand as well...you know what i tend to do at times?? If i get mixed up and the screenname is no help i accidentally will call a girl a guy and so forth..i try to be supportive and then they call me on my mix up and i feel like crap because i think that they think how can she be supportive of me if she doesnt even know what gender i am??? And you know what its happen to me too....people call me a guy because InACorner...well doesnt really give any hint....just yesterday i called Jax a boy...lol turned out SHE was nothing of the sort...SORRY JAX hehe....we all get confused no worries...like Darkeyes said...its because the site is soo big and there are so many people to meet and learn about ...it can geting confusing...i hope your doing ok ...and hopefully it turns out to be alittle easier for you later on...good luck
love, Inny (im a girl..hehe)

[Bethsway]

Don't worry DePressMe....it takes time but you will learn everybody's personalities after a while...Just keep on reading and posting....I don't post much myself but I find peace in reading others' posts...It helps me so much!! You will find the people that you connect with most...Take care and welcome again to PC!

[Maven]

No, you're not alone. I "know" some people better than others here, and even with those I know, I don't comment all the time. Often, it has to do with the amount of time I have at the moment, and if I feel I can make a significant contribution to the thread. Don't feel bad if you don't comment every time. I send hugs now and then, but I don't do it every time, especially if many others have. It's not that I don't care or wish the person well. Not only do I spend too much time online and need to reduce it, but I'm dealing with a couple of problems online, plus a bunch of crap going on in real life. So, don't stress yourself out if you don't post all over the place.

[Wants2Fly]

I just read for quite a while before I ever posted anything. I stuck pretty much to the forum for my particular need (depression at the time), and I didn't even read general for a long time. It was easier to get to see people's personalities because I was limited in my reading.

I still stick pretty much to just a few forums, but now I come to general, too. I don't feel a need to read or answer every thread. Sometimes, this keeps me from taking time to get to know someone new, like you. That's my loss.

I didn't even know that (((((((((Confused)))))))))))) meant hugs for the longest time!

Yeah, I felt (& still do ) that many here are already bonded with some of the others. Like some of them respond with the person's real name & not their screen name.

But I just keep respondintg to posts that touch me & very rarely start a thread. I'm afraid no one will find it interesting & there will be no comments. I'm sure as we get more comfortalbe all these feelings of unease will subside. Welcome!--Suzy

[sabby]

I think everyone here goes through a little bit (or maybe a lot) of confusion at times. There are the seasoned veterans and then there are the newbies and then the one's in between LOL.

It is difficult to keep up with it all. And no one expects you to keep up with everything. Go where you feel comfortable. Many folks post in many forums and some folks stick to one or two forums. Whatever rocks your boat is okie dokie

Hang in there...you are doing just fine! ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
Jean

[DePressMe]

Hi Suzy,
I hope you will soon be more comfortable starting your own thread. Everybody here is so supportive--nothing is too little or too big. Besides, I think that people here love to talk (write)....including me.

[Wants2Fly]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Suzy5654 said:
Yeah, I felt (& still do ) that many here are already bonded with some of the others. Like some of them respond with the person's real name & not their screen name.


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Suzy, you are so right about how bonding can seem to exclude newcomers when one first arrives. Only a few people know my given name, and I've asked those who know to use it only in PMs. If I wanted my given to be screen name, it would be. Other people don't mind if the given name is used. However, my given is unusual, and I wouldn't want anyone I work with to stumble on to the board and see it and start to wonder . . .

It never occurred to me that using the known given name could seem to shut out newcomers. Thanks for the fresh perspective on that.

Even though I've been here quite a while, with a very long interim of about 20 months when I was not, I can still post and get zip responses. I don't do a lot of PM'ing, and I think that affects the response rate. People with whom I occasionally PM will almost always leave a courtesy acknowledgment.

It's hard not to take it personally, because posting is putting oneself out there and we will come with specific mental health needs. But we have to try.

[kimmydawn]

(((((( DePressMe ))))))

It CAN be overwhelming, even confusing.

I had to start of slow and stayed mostly with the forums with which I related (DD forum, Survivors, PTSD, General). At first those are about the only places I responded.

I selected them as the only ones to view when I felt overwhelmed. I didn't see the rest that way and felt in a small, comfortable world then. It's wasn't so big and "in my face".

You can click on one of your fav forums and go to the bottom then select "add/remove this to my favorite forums". Do that with the several you have interest and feel comfortable with.

Once you've selected all, you can go to the bottom of the main
forums page and select, "show my favorite forums". You'll only see the ones you've added.

To show all forums, just go back to the bottom of the main forums page and select, "view all forums".

It's a great tool when feeling overwhelmed.

Also, if there are threads you want to keep track of you can add them to your favorite threads. It helps with the confusion and finding the ones we posted in, etc.

If you need help or have any questions, don't hesitate to shoot me a PM.

KD

[kimmydawn]

Also, I so understand being new and others being so familiar with several here.

Please remember in those times that those that are familiar with others are receptive to having many more "friends"!

You just keep being you, which is a very kind and supportive person, and it's going to be just fine.

KD

[Calm]

I totally relate to your posting. Does anyone know if there is a Confusion Anonymous support group?

[(JD)]

Are we all part of it? (((calm)))

[Raynaadi]

Haha, very true Sky. The anonymity here offers us anonymous support for our confusion!!!