Experience of being bullied?

Thanks Anna. I hope I don't get bullied in the future anymore.

I hope no one on here ever gets bullied again but unfortunately bullying can happen any where and at any time.

Let me ask, if you were to be bullied tomorrow, how would you overcome it?

If I were bullied tomorrow I think I might show pity on the bully. A lot of bullying is due to self esteem issues and other type of trauma. I tend not to let what others say effect me so they can bully away. I won't lose any sleep.

But I have also see situations where the "bullied" is actually the "bullyer." How to we overcome those situations?

I truly believe that bullying does exist. I witnessed it in the 6th grade.
just because people disagree with your opinion does not mean you are being bullied.
Some may even be mistaken as to who is actually the bully and the bullied.
I have had friends accused of being a bully when in fact it was them who were actually bullied. That person took action and fixed his situation. This is much harder for children to do. But as adults I have faith we can be adultlike.
Bullies put others down in order to feel better about themselves.
I have seen it here a bit. Only a bit because this is a very well moderated site.

I completely agree with what you said EmWell. I have too seen it. People getting fixated and slandering based on half the story. I'd expect adults to act more accordingly and seek explanation that jumping straight into accusation.

This is just me thought. I have been bullied in the past. I have overcome it. I'm a stronger person due to those that made me miserable. But not everyone is as strong, and some people hide from bullying scenarios. That is how they deal with it. But its strange how an individual hiding as an act of self care will be perceived as "bullying" by another.

Yes, I'm sure there are situations where the mental health support is non-existent nowdays... but I speak from being old and there really was very little "support" for those being bullied.... of course back in the day it rarely resulted in death or bodily harm... but support for the one being bullied? No, it was "suck it up", "get over it" "get over yourself" "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" type sentiments. Yes, the clinician was likely to focus upon what I had said about what makes the one being bullied so vulnerable, and try to strengthen their resolve... but the bully was just labeled as a "problem student" and moved through the process.

I hear ya as I am coming from a place of being old as well.
I recall one incident of bullying growing up. I do not know why she was chosen or who chose her, they just did.
I think she had "cooties". I never stopped being her friend.
When school ended so did the bullying. It did not carry over to outside of school.
It also did not last long as her big brother found out about it and it ended.

I'm old as well, from long before "bullying" was a well-known verb.

However, I was bullied by the greater majority of those I was in school with, along with a couple of other kids who were likewise singled out, for looking different, for being poor, and in my case I got it especially bad because I looked sickly and had the inexplicable oddness that a deeply neglected child of a pedophile with no outlet for healing could only have.

So maybe it has somewhat to do with ratio, because in my school bullies weren't labeled problem students and weren't moved through any process -- they were the majority, and we that were in the minority were the ones seen as defective, by the teachers as well as the students, and were treated accordingly. Majority rules. When I've gone to high school reunions, I'm actually warm and friendly to everyone, having worked such ancient history out at this point, but mostly it's they that can't look at me, which I can only guess is because they don't want to be faced with the memories of having once behaved so terribly.

Mental health resources? Certainly no one ever bothered to ask me why I was the saddest, sickest looking, most scared little girl in the entire school, and it would never have occurred to me to talk to anyone about being bullied, because everyone in every environment in which I existed was so inured to the culture that existed, all wearing it on their own sleeves, survival of the fittest, buck up! etc. I just assumed that anything I said would be perceived as whining, being a crybaby, and could actually bring me further torment, because it had happened before, for far less.

Now that it holds greater weight in the public consciousness, it's inevitable that some people will misuse the word to describe less unmanageable interactions, wittingly or unwittingly, and I've even seen adults do this which is particularly annoying -- we just have to keep talking about it, educating people. What better time than childhood for people to learn how to be genuinely supportive and non-judgmental of their fellow man?

I would also like to say that it would be good for people to learn coping skills and mechanisms to deal with bullying, whether it happens to them or to someone else. By that, I don't mean learn to suck it up.

There are two sides to every story, yes. However, it's often times nobody asks or does anything to share their side and the situation only gets worse. Not speaking is way worse and can determent far more than anything else.

Couldn't agree more. Far better to teach this skill in schools than to have 0 tolerance policies. Even if they manage to ensure no bullying a person must graduate out into the wide world made up of all kinds of people including bullies. Even when going to school there's many other places to be bullied outside of school. Learning how to cope with it and when is the right time to get other people involved is more important than any other subject for nearly everyone will use this skill their entire lives.

I have bullied since middle school and I thought it would get better when became an adult but it has not it just isn't as obvious...

This Bullying as Wrong Always

As Wrong as Wrong Always

As Truth as Truth Always

Wrong as Bullying

Absolutely. In the big wide world, you are likely to meet a variety of people, some are going to be nice and friendly, others indifferent, there will also be people who are negative and unpleasant to be around but then you have those who engage in bullying. I made a distinction between people that a person may find unpleasent, negative in comparison to a bully. Because you could have a falling out between two people or those two people disagree about something, etc but that doesn't make either one of them a bully.
Anyways I very much doubt bullying will go away for good.

zero tolerance is a joke I was made fun of by one of my teachers and the vice principle told me I was the one who was too sensitive and needed to "toughen up" I went to teachers so many times because of the bullying and they never did anything they didn't even ask if I was ok

^the trouble with coping mechanisms for victims being seen as a significant part of a solution, IMO. In an actual culture of bullying and delivered by possibly overworked teachers (or just ill-informed), it tends to end up just being one more element of blaming the victim, that they are somehow responsible to nullify what is systemic victimization -- not just people "being mean" but systemically subjugating those they recognize as already being vulnerable.

The statistics on how many victims of schoolyard bullying are also being traumatized in other parts of their lives are fairly shocking, but this is how certain people get targeted. I like how the National Child Advocacy Center phrases it best, and I may have already quoted it earlier in this string for which I apologize if its the case: "Emotional residues from maltreatment can create a “victim schema” that communicates vulnerability to peers and can invite bullying and peer violence." Which is a far cry from how it's more often characterized, that a child is "acting like" a victim. In any event, even if the maltreatment is strictly happening at school, it's easy to see how victimization can get stuck in a vicious cycle.

As a side note, I suppose it's just semantics, but I think that so much better than a zero-tolerance policy would be an actual zero-bullying policy. Reminds me of when George Carlin would talk about how we are constantly coming up with ever more sterile and over-complicated terminology to mean the same thing until finally we've stripped all the humanity from our communication. (on YouTube: George Carlin/Euphemisms. Always a classic.)

Gosh, that is horrible I can imagine that could of made you feel defenseless?

I was bullied for aprox 3 consecutive years, starting in 5th.
No help. From anyone.
7th was the worst. I was even punished for retalitating (happened twice)
Not only I was affected by strong depression during that period, it also left me with C-PTSD.
Did I mention I am 14?
Anyway, I was bullied for...everything.
Being somewhat large, -76566 in social skills, being smart, and having delusions about my favourite book series at the time being real (This doesnt happen now, but I am schizophrenic)
Fortunately, the psychological torture is over now!

Yes it did it made me feel like I didn't matter and I know for a fact that I was not the only one that teacher berated in front of the class

How do you feel now? Does it effect your mental health and your view of the world?

Anyone here ever see the anime Elfen Lied? That scene where Lucy's dog, her only friend, is beaten and killed by the bullies in her class... It causes her Diclonius powers to manifest for the first time and she slaughters the three boys with her psychic blades, and all that's left is their blood and limbs strewn all over the floor, walls and ceiling while she stands there crying.

Did anyone else laugh hysterically at that scene? I worried that my sanity was breaking. Yeah, I wished for something along those lines when I was a kid. If looks could kill I would have massacred dozens if not hundreds. I'm sure we all wished for super powers at one time or another... But in the end we're just weak, fallible humans. Shame.

OMG yes! I not only laughed, but I was entertained and fantasized about doing something like that to real bullies. The fact of the matter is that fantasy shows or movies that involve bullies suffering a gruesome fate by the hands of their victims makes me euphoric.

i was called crackhead because i was skinny then for some reason i tried to gain more weight and i did it the bad way... i started drinking, eating fastfood... life changed...

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I was once called anorexic because I was skinny; it spawned from a random conversation about chocolate and I commented that I didn't eat chocolate (I mostly don't like chocolate). They're like, "So THAT'S why you're so skinny! Are you like anorexic or something?" It didn't really bother me at the time, but.

I've been barely-underweight for most of my life (things like BMI of 17 which is apparently underweight) and I was always a little self-conscious about it, not because I thought it made me less than other people (if you'll pardon the pun) but because I thought it might be a legitimate medical problem.

-shrug-

people can be rude... I've been called anorexic too... it was scaring because now im overweight and its because i started eating more and my metabolism got low... i should have never tried to change myself. It's so hard to loose the weight now...

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