[DePressMe]

Everything that is bad happens to me and it always happens at the worse possible time. My own grandmother said, “if it weren’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all.” That pretty much describes my life.

So, Tuesday I defend my Masters—which is extremely stressful—I have to prove that I know enough to earn my masters. I am trying, but I am just not ready for it. The class I am taking this quarter requires 4 papers—one a 25 page research paper. It also requires a ton of reading and class presentations. Now, add that to working 50-60 hours a week and I am absolutely swamped. My schedule is horrible. The only break I take is to post here—that gives me a little bit of sanity.

So, now, I am stranded at work because my car won’t start. I just spent almost $700 getting it fixed—which completely wiped out my savings. Now, I have to get the car towed and of course the mechanics said its too late today to look at it today and they don’t work on Sundays. Not only do I not have the time and energy to deal with this, I don’t have the money to get it fixed…I am royally screwed. Even if it only cost $100—I don’t have it. I barely had enough money to buy my books this quarter—they are threatening got turn off my gas because I owe almost $300, but I don’t have the money to pay them. I don’t get paid until the 30th of the month.

So, now I have to arrange for a ride home tonight—we are having a home football game today, so getting a tow truck here will be impossible today—arrange for a ride to work tomorrow—get the car towed—arrange for a ride from the dealership to home—arrange for a ride to work and then back to the damn dealership to get my car. And somewhere in there I need to magically produce money and study for my defense. Not to mention I need to be working on the papers for the class I am taking this quarter. And then, basically pray that my gas does not get shut off before my paycheck hits the bank.

I am so frustrated that I am in tears. I try so hard to do everything right—work—school—house—car—I try to treat people good—stand up for the causes I believe in—I give to others…I just plain try to be a good human being and all I ever get is crap. Everything goes wrong, people abuse me because I am nice, people take advantage of me because I trust them…my meds cost a fortune and why on earth do I have to be the one to have these mental illnesses? Why me? Why is it always me? I hate my car. I hate my house. I hate my job. I hate school. I am real close to hating myself right now.

[DePressMe]

AND, one more thing--the vending machine just stole one of my last dollars.

[SecretGarden]

Okay... Organize the chaos.. Go in to Can Do Mode. What are your priorities and what can go by the wayside? Does the car HAVE to be fixed now? Do you HAVE To work on the papers? Do you HAVE to do your defense on Tuesday? What is shiftable and how shall you prioritize? Can anyone else help you to see that the car is fixed while you need to do what you need to do. You are so kind to and for others... time for a little payback. What can you call in from who?

You can do it. You can do it.

[DePressMe]

One more thing--then this is the last--my meds run out Tuesday--I have no money to get them filled.

Okay, now, I will quit complaining about my pathetic life and hit the books. Try to be that good person I always claim to be.

[SecretGarden]

Well you could beat the vendinig machine.... could take care of some of that pent up anger...lol ...

[SecretGarden]

Sorry.... worry about the meds Tuesday.... after you have defended. Unless some soul that takes your med wanders by... keep that window open in your mind working.... but otherwise... just make it to Tuesday.

Any chance a doc somewhere would have samples for such a fine patient as you?

[DePressMe]

Thanks secretgarden...everything that can be shifted has been...I am out of time on my masters defense--it is now or never--I have been putting off my papers to study for my defense--I live alone and need my car for transportation.

But, yes, right now, at this moment, the only thing I can really do is study. So that is the only thing I am going to focus on...just study. Nothing else matters at the moment because I can't do anythign about it.

[muse]

(((((((((((((((((DePressMe))))))))))))))))

I'm so so sorry that things are being so horrible to you right now!! That's a terrible situation to find yourself in, and I hope and pray that things take a turn for the better REALLY soon (as my parents would say, "If the money fairy pooped on my head..."). Just please, recognize that YOU are an exceptional person. You're juggling SO much stuff, and you still manage to be a genuine, caring individual who isn't toally wrapped up in themselves. THAT IS A HUGE ACHIEVEMENT!! It might not seem like a lot right now, but it gives you every reason to NOT hate yourself.

luck&love,
~muse

(((((((((((DepressMe)))))))))) I'm so sorry everything under the sun is going wrong for you right now. I hope some very nice person drives you where you need to go so that your life will be just a little easier.
There's got to be a tow truck company somewhere who can help you out today.
You are ready for your masters and you know that-stop doubting yourself, you CAN do this, okay? You're doing great, don't let these set backs undermine your achievements and self confidence.
Right now it all seems overwhelming but take it in little steps. Concentrate on getting one thing done at a time. Whatever is the priority then that's what you focus on. You're a smart girl, you can handle this-this is not going to break you.
You'll figure this out.

[DePressMe]

I've already hit my pdoc up for samples this month--he gave me all he had. He is good like that.

Listen, if you can figure out how to get yourself off the street to getting a university education then you can figure this out-STOP LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO FAIL!! You CAN do this.

[sabby]

So sorry all the stress is just weighing on you right now. I have some suggestions that might help.

1. If you can't get samples from the doc and you use the same pharmacy all the time - go to them and explain you haven no cash until the 1st of the month. They very often will do what they can to make sure you have your meds, so they may give you just enough to get you through until the 1st when you can pay for the prescription....and then they'll fill the balance of it for you.

2. If you are taking your car to a dealership for repairs, very often they have courtesy cars to take you where you need to go from the dealership. They will even pick you up to bring you back to the dealership to retrieve your vehicle when it's repaired.

3. If this is the same repair place you used for the $700 repairs, ask them for a loaner vehicle to use while yours is back in the shop. Also, question them about what is wrong with your car now and is it something they supposedly fixed. If so, you should not have to pay to get it fixed right!

4. Call the gas company and explain your problems. Make a payment plan with them before they shut it off. Most places will work with you before shutoff....if you don't call until after the shutoff, they will want all of the money up front before turning it back on. Even post dated checks to them to hold until the proper date might work.

Once you can get all that under control....it may take a few phone calls, you should be able to concentrate on your studying and your papers.

5. Remember to BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take 5 minutes when feeling stressed to close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly to restore yourself to some calmness....it should work wonders for you.

I wish you strength and peace as you work through your difficult times!

Hugssssss
J

[Wants2Fly]

Sabau has a nicely organized list there, and someone else certainly hit the nail on the head by saying, "You can do it" after other things you've overcome.

The oral defense can be stressful. However, you chair has no business allowing you to defend if he or she does not believe you are ready. Do you trust your chair? Have you withheld or distorted the information about your readiness? If your answers are respectively, yes and no, then you might look upon the defense as an opportunity to have a nice chat about your research with a knowledgeable team of people -- whom you chose to be your advisors -- who want you to succeed.

Your chair does not benefit one bit if you you go down in flames -- it suggests that this chair did not know how to prepare you. If you have picked people you respect as ethical people and researchers for your committee, all will be well.

Big hugs and very best wishes. Let us know how it goes.

If your pharmacy can't help call your regular md's office - they might have samples. If not, call pdoc -ask him to call the sales rep. Sales reps like to be heros. They think it'll help them make more sales. And that's faster than going to the manufacturers website and checking into their free meds programs.

em

Oh...and I'm sorry all this crud has happened to you! It sounds really frrrrrrustrating!!

em

[DePressMe]

Thanks everybody for the support. I am going to do whatever it takes to get my meds. I am taking a break and then going back to the books. You all rock!

[SecretGarden]

You are doing great.. ! Work hard... work smart. Do good work... lol... know you will. Go team.

Like the comment from above of that your advisor wishes to look good too. Remember that.