[bint]

I am few months shy of my 18th birthday. Brought up in Asian culture English being my third language some pardon grammer.
don't know how to start my thoughts r racing in my head in don't know in wat state I am. I haven't slept for past 21 hours n sleep way too far away from my eyes.
So as to begin... I took bipolar ADHD n ocd tests n I have a high number in each of them. But its just not tests that bothers me u see wen I am holding something hot I see this image that the hotpot got dropped out of my hand on some one n I can see the consequence that they got burned or I dropped it on my feet. In order to avoid such mishaps with respect to such images I hold the object even more tightly.
As i am typing half my head is throbbing. I have mood swings n if i have the urge to do some new activity like learning a language or cooking or some sorta art I just for it cuz it drives me crazy n then I lose interest. If I plan to do something than I certainly with do it if iam interested.
I talk to myself alot . not just like I have to do this n do that today rather make up stories a story at a time in which play a part. I work on that story talking to myself as me in that world n also as others. I add bits to that story every day sometimes I get fed up with them so I develop a new one or get one of my mode swings of hyperactivity so I get around ppl n socialize forget about story making but not for more than a week max. One example of such story is that I am off to some vacations with my family there is some guys with guns on the plane but no body gets harmed much cuz me n some peeps act really heroicly n now the journalists are bothering me.
One of my daily probs ......as if I don't daily struggle with the above mentioned... So as I was saying wen go to bath I lock door then take my clothes of then again I lock the door if use toilet before a bath I check the again half way through it then I go bath again in the middle of it I check the lock . wen say to myself just checked so I get the response that maybe u forgot to lock but u think u did. Wat if someone barges in?
Also I am pretty indecisive person. Sometimes I think am I doing this to seek attention or am I just creating a hype. I really need help. This is the first I will letting quite a lot of myself go cuz I see ppl will make fun of me if they will kno true me. I don't wanna tell my mom even though she is my best friend so u kno how it is. Anyways may our creator bless us all n guide us towards enlightenment. Peace

[Fizzyo]

Hi bing, welcome to Psych Central, I hope you will feel welcome here. Sorry you are finding things so difficult at the moment. People here know what it is like to have difficulty with Mental Health so no pity, but many people who want to help and will NOT make fun of you. You may be able to help other people too, sometimes words are not necessary, a picture or a hug can encourage someone. I hope you find as much help and support here as I have.