[Neurotic 2 the bone]

Right now im sitting alone in my shack of an apartment staring down the bottom of a bottle of happy pills.

I feel lost.

The support team I had in place as systematically crumbled. Therapist ended things. Employer fired me. Woman i love wont talk to me. I even cant see my pet as I had to leave her behind when i moved out here for the new job which i dont even have anymore. I attended university orientation day recently and everyone there was so excited about starting in september. Im returning as a mature student. Im not 18. Their perkiness and school spirit made me sick. I had to withdraw and leave early.

Everyone who mattered to me is gone. I look around and theirs nothing.

Its dawning on me. Ive lost what mattered most to me. And its not coming back. I was good last year at this time. Work kept me distracted from the end of the relationship the last few months but now even thats gone.

I cant get over what ive lost. Who Ive lost. Ive even had 3 other women recently give me their phone number. Just to be friends. At least I think. Im too stuck on someone else to find out anyway.

Everything I attempt ends badly. Relationships, work. University is probably next on that list.

Im just very low. This summer has not gone as planned.

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry that your plans haven't worked out and that you support team is no longer there for you. I encourage you to seek out a new therapist as you have a lot to work through and could use the help.

I think it's great you are trying to go back to school. Maybe that will give you the distraction you need. Good luck.

[FacingChains]

Hi,
I am with you. I have had all the same **** and more happen all at once. I feel like I am being held at gunpoint inside and i cannot breathe. I lost my apt, cannot find a job, lost my boyfriend of ten years and my dog, ...basically all my life/independence; quit university last semester, and am now, at way too old of an age, have been forced to return to my parents house and live in a place I do not even like. I am in debt and it will take me a long time to get out of this place. Just do not hurt yourself. That is where I am at. I know what I do each day is what will save me and what I do not do will only keep me from what I think will make me happy. I feel for you. Facing Chains quote=Neurotic 2 the bone;4563303]Right now im sitting alone in my shack of an apartment staring down the bottom of a bottle of happy pills.

I feel lost.

The support team I had in place as systematically crumbled. Therapist ended things. Employer fired me. Woman i love wont talk to me. I even cant see my pet as I had to leave her behind when i moved out here for the new job which i dont even have anymore. I attended university orientation day recently and everyone there was so excited about starting in september. Im returning as a mature student. Im not 18. Their perkiness and school spirit made me sick. I had to withdraw and leave early.

Everyone who mattered to me is gone. I look around and theirs nothing.

Its dawning on me. Ive lost what mattered most to me. And its not coming back. I was good last year at this time. Work kept me distracted from the end of the relationship the last few months but now even thats gone.

I cant get over what ive lost. Who Ive lost. Ive even had 3 other women recently give me their phone number. Just to be friends. At least I think. Im too stuck on someone else to find out anyway.

Everything I attempt ends badly. Relationships, work. University is probably next on that list.

Im just very low. This summer has not gone as planned.[/quote]