Disconnecting

I've recently been experiencing these weird detachment episodes as if I'm not actually real. Sometimes I'll be talking or listening to someone and I'll begin to "space out" and won't even realize what's happening. This also happens if I'm just watching tv, reading, or listening to music. I'm beginning to feel unreal or a object rather than human. I can't bring myself to cry, get angry, or happy; I'm just numb all the time.

I don't know if this is a coping mechanism or if my medication is causing this. This began to happen a few months ago after being 3 months clean from self-harm. I'm just not sure what to do or how to prevent/stop it since it's beginning to interfere with my communication towards others and my life in general.

It can be a stress reaction but it is also common from a lot of medications. Have you had any medication changes recently?

No, I've been on the same medication/dosage for about 5 months now. So I'm not sure if it could just suddenly begin to happen or if it's been happening and I haven't noticed it.

I don't have much experience with this type of event. I hope that people who know more about it will respond.

I do think it's certainly serious enough to bring it up with your psychotherapist and/or meds prescriber, if you have those.

If you're sure these feelings/experiences are impacting your ability to function, I think you should work with a therapist on finding the root of the problem (sleep problems? overworked? just bored? worsening depression? past trauma?)

I deal with this feeling a lot. I have a dissociative disorder. Not feeling "real" can cut right to the core of your identity and your ability to feel comfortable in any and all situations.

I certainly hope that's not happening to you, though. I hope that it's a much smaller problem that hasn't been noticed yet. I hope that you can find support from your friends and family as you deal with this troubling experience. Being around good people who appreciate you can help you find yourself again. I'm sure you're in a lot of pain. I hope that some of this made sense, and I wish for only the best for you.

After going through a trauma I had this happen a lot...the first time it happened it scared me so badly....I was working at the ranch getting hay for the horses & it was like I was watching myself do the work. Someone said something to me & I answered....but while I was answering I was wondering how I knew what to even say. Glad I wasn't driving at the time but H decided he had to stop at the market on the way home. I didn't want to sit in the car so I went in & it was like I was watching myself wandering around the market without being able to focus on anything....I was so glad to get home.

I talked to my pdoc about what was happening & he said it was called "depersonalization". It was actually happening all the time while I was staying the 3 weeks in the hospital next to my mother to make sure she was protected from the home care person who had OD'ed her on her morphine. (my mom was dying of cancer at the time). I don't remember too much about those 3 weeks living & sleeping in the chair next to my mother's bed bit I remember that it was like watching a movie.

Depersonalization, derealization are all coping skills that the mind uses to protect itself from stressful situations. It doesn't become a problem until it actually effects our every day life functioning. There are grounding techniques that can be learned to help if that is actually happening.

People who experience depersonalization don't loose time, they just watch the events happening....much different than dissociation.....you might check out the forum on this here....& see if that's what you are experiencing.

I'm sure that your meds could be causing a reaction also....so it's not always easy to tell where those experiences are actually coming from.

Hope you are able to sort through this & find peace with what is happening

It could be both. I do this a lot. I have to rewind movies and tv shows. Thank god I have DVR. I know my meds can cause a little bit of a slow reaction and brain freeze. I also started doing it more after I stopped SIing. I think it might be a coping mechanism. I made up my mind not to SI, so when I want to I just space. It was bad when I was working, having to ask the boss to repeat himself sometimes twice. It's gotten better. I'm taking a not for credit course online to try and retrain my brain to pay attention for school this fall. So far it hasn't been too bad. They offer them at Hillsdale.