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Old May 30, 2007, 11:00 AM
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SerenitysWave SerenitysWave is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
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<font color="purple"> tired of pretending that everything is hunky dory....

tired of not getting my emotional needs met....

tired of the constant battles within my own brain..... stop the competition and the fights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop making each other miserable and stop doing what makes another have attacks......

tapped out.... maternal nuturing is drained.... not being the best mom I can be.... feeling guilty and anger at self...

feeling used..... not worthy.... damaged....

not sure which is real ... where I am in this body and life... cannot make sense of thoughts and feelings...

want to be left alone or do I?
want to move on or do I?
want to feel good again or do I?
want to feel loved , will I know, do I know, can I know, is it there, do I deserve it?

empty, yet full..... dillusioned in my own reality....auto pilot, thats all it is....

wish I could shut off my mind... stop the noise.... feel at peace.... shove it away deep down ....

tired of sadness, no joy, no smiles just the fake ones I borrow.....

freak, mistake, experiment??? where do i belong, can i belong.... dont feel like i belong to myself ..... is there a another me...would it be real... am I real... I just dont know anymore....

confused and frustrated just me :(
</font>
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Melinda
just me :(
Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....
because tomorrow just might be too late!

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  #2  
Old May 30, 2007, 11:05 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
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Oh my, sadly I identified with so much of your post.

I'm sorry it's so rough for you right now.

(((SerenitysWave)))
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just me :(

Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long.
  #3  
Old May 30, 2007, 11:09 AM
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SerenitysWave SerenitysWave is offline
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Location: Vermont
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Thank you Sabrina (((hugs to you too))))) I try to stay positive and say it will pass..... so hard at times tho...
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Melinda
just me :(
Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....
because tomorrow just might be too late!
  #4  
Old May 30, 2007, 11:57 AM
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Wants2Fly Wants2Fly is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
Hugs and hugs.
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just me :(
  #5  
Old May 30, 2007, 12:44 PM
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SerenitysWave SerenitysWave is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
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Thank you Wants2Fly
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Melinda
just me :(
Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....
because tomorrow just might be too late!
  #6  
Old May 30, 2007, 01:51 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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((((((((((((( SerenitysWave )))))))))))))))
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  #7  
Old May 30, 2007, 01:54 PM
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Direction Direction is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2006
Location: Midwest, USA
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I'm glad you were able to share...I to identified with your words.
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Direction

just me :(

Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference
  #8  
Old May 30, 2007, 02:56 PM
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SerenitysWave SerenitysWave is offline
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Location: Vermont
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Thank you Fuzzy and Direction.... I feel some comfort in knowing that I am not alone but at the same time that saddens me too... Would not wish my worst enemy to feel this way! ((((((((((((((to all of us at PC and those that are suffering silently)))))))))))))))))
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Melinda
just me :(
Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....
because tomorrow just might be too late!
  #9  
Old May 30, 2007, 06:31 PM
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tranquility tranquility is offline
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Member Since: May 2007
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 805
Keep sharing. Could you ask your kids to give you a hug sandwich??

Tranquility
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just me :(
  #10  
Old May 30, 2007, 06:45 PM
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January January is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
((((((( SW ))))))

Hugs,

Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today.
Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree.

My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else.
  #11  
Old May 30, 2007, 08:12 PM
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SerenitysWave SerenitysWave is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,529
Thank you Tranquilty and Jan....

I appreciate all the love and support.. I don't feel like i deserve it though... and feeling kinda embarrassed that I am having my own pity party....feeling like nothing i do or say is ever good enough lately.. I do try, just gets shut down seems every time.....

hugs from my kids are the best, not short on those.... my kids are huggy loving people even my teen boys... I am blessed, wish I could/would enjoy it more....
__________________
Melinda
just me :(
Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....
because tomorrow just might be too late!
  #12  
Old May 30, 2007, 08:40 PM
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Sounds very painful-even though you're probably numb. ((((((((((((SerenityWaves)))))))))))))) just me :( We're here- whenever you need to let it out. just me :(
Hugs, hugs and more hugs. just me :(
  #13  
Old May 31, 2007, 05:02 AM
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Bethsway Bethsway is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,904
I see so much of me in your post. The fake smiles, trying to pretend everything is fine! I hope you are feeling better today! Sending lots of hugs to you! just me :( just me :(
  #14  
Old May 31, 2007, 06:53 AM
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SerenitysWave SerenitysWave is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,529
Thank you Pickle and Beth
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Melinda
just me :(
Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....
because tomorrow just might be too late!
  #15  
Old May 31, 2007, 03:19 PM
AnnieL AnnieL is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 44
(((((((((serenityswave))))))))))

Annie
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