[Purple Thunderstorm]

I don't feel like writing a story out, so I'm just going to list my psychological and physical symptoms.

By the way, I know I should see a doctor for proper diagnosis but I can't afford it.

I am a sixteen year old American male and I have struggled with agoraphobia, panic disorder, depression, and what I believe may be Borderline personality disorder. I have also battled several addictions to substances such as alcohol, cigarettes, painkillers and benzos.

- Social isolation (I am afraid of the public, even to the point where the outside world frightens me)
- Wide mood swings
- Enhanced emotions (I feel depressed instead of sad, rage instead of anger, panic instead of anxiety)
- Frequent panic attacks, on and off
- Difficulty concentrating (can't read, hardly can write)
- Can't talk to friends or family face to face
- Can't make eye contact
- Suicidal thoughts (read below)
- Achy, fatigued feeling about half of the time
- Insomnia during week (sometimes not going to sleep for two days), sleeping too much on weekends (sometimes up to 13-14 hours straight)
- Decreased appetite most of the time (lost 15 pounds in a month)
- Increased appetite on very rare occasions
- Speech difficulties
- Very poor short-term memory
- Headaches, abdominal pains...

Possible trigger:

My mother's mom committed suicide in 1974 due to what is now believed to be Bipolar Disorder,

though she was improperly diagnosed with schizophrenia. My mom's dad was a depressed alcoholic, and my mom was mentally abused during her childhood by her step-mom. Her brother is a psychopath drug addict. My dad's dad suffered PTSD from combat in WWII (fought at D-Day as a combat medic under the command of Gen. Patton) and my dad has minor anxiety issues. My dad is rarely around due to his job. Most of my family members and family friends are dead or not in contact with us for one reason or another.

Also, though I do have suicidal thoughts, I don't think I would ever actually do it because I could not do that to my mother.

I have no friends whatsoever, just a couple of friendly acquaintances. All I want to know is what do you think is my issue? I have been diagnosed with social anxiety in the past, but I believe my problems are much deeper than basic anxiety.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Any response will be greatly appreciated.

[Turtleboy]

At least half that list sounds like bipolar to me, and the rest severe anxiety, maybe you can bring it up with a GP and get a referral to a pdoc?

[Nike007]

I agree with Turtleboy. It sounds like bipolar disorder with some anxiety issues. Bipolar disorder is genetic, so if your grandmother had it, you are more likely to have it. Sometimes things like that skip a generation and bam.

It does sound like social anxiety too, as you stated being diagnosed with social anxiety. There is no trigger for you panic attacks, right? Because you can have panic attacks from other mental disorders. Maybe you want to look into all the different types of anxiety disorders to get a general understanding of it. Some sites may include OCD and PTSD because they used to be considered anxiety disorders, but they aren't anymore.

Also, do you consider yourself being addicted to so many things because of your anxiety and mood problems? If you would like to be properly diagnosed you will need to remove the drugs from your system, which is extremely hard, but, I would like to know what is wrong with me, right?

Anyways, I am assuming nothing like AD/HD or ASD, right? Hope this helps .

[Purple Thunderstorm]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I agree with Turtleboy. It sounds like bipolar disorder with some anxiety issues. Bipolar disorder is genetic, so if your grandmother had it, you are more likely to have it. Sometimes things like that skip a generation and bam.

It does sound like social anxiety too, as you stated being diagnosed with social anxiety. There is no trigger for you panic attacks, right? Because you can have panic attacks from other mental disorders. Maybe you want to look into all the different types of anxiety disorders to get a general understanding of it. Some sites may include OCD and PTSD because they used to be considered anxiety disorders, but they aren't anymore.

Also, do you consider yourself being addicted to so many things because of your anxiety and mood problems? If you would like to be properly diagnosed you will need to remove the drugs from your system, which is extremely hard, but, I would like to know what is wrong with me, right?

Anyways, I am assuming nothing like AD/HD or ASD, right? Hope this helps .

Thanks for the response, sometimes panic attacks are triggered through stressful situations (usually social situations), but also seem to appear out of nowhere. I go out of my way to avoid any circumstances that can trigger one.
I have had a history of addictions, but I have stopped feeding any of them, partially because I knew it was detrimental, but mainly because I don't have the money. I know it's for the best, but without any of these things to help support me, I feel empty, worthless and insecure all of the time.

[Purple Thunderstorm]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I agree with Turtleboy. It sounds like bipolar disorder with some anxiety issues. Bipolar disorder is genetic, so if your grandmother had it, you are more likely to have it. Sometimes things like that skip a generation and bam.

It does sound like social anxiety too, as you stated being diagnosed with social anxiety. There is no trigger for you panic attacks, right? Because you can have panic attacks from other mental disorders. Maybe you want to look into all the different types of anxiety disorders to get a general understanding of it. Some sites may include OCD and PTSD because they used to be considered anxiety disorders, but they aren't anymore.

Also, do you consider yourself being addicted to so many things because of your anxiety and mood problems? If you would like to be properly diagnosed you will need to remove the drugs from your system, which is extremely hard, but, I would like to know what is wrong with me, right?

Anyways, I am assuming nothing like AD/HD or ASD, right? Hope this helps .

By the way, I just recently started taking Lexapro again, I had a month supply of it after I quit therapy. Two weeks in and it seems to be helping a bit, but I don't know.

Come visit us at the bipolar forum. We can't diagnose but it's very supportive. xo

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Purple Thunderstorm

Thanks for the response, sometimes panic attacks are triggered through stressful situations (usually social situations), but also seem to appear out of nowhere. I go out of my way to avoid any circumstances that can trigger one.
I have had a history of addictions, but I have stopped feeding any of them, partially because I knew it was detrimental, but mainly because I don't have the money. I know it's for the best, but without any of these things to help support me, I feel empty, worthless and insecure all of the time.

Isn't there some free program in the states? Like, Obama care or CHIPP I think it's called? This seems like something serious. Maybe you can find something free online. Anyways, hope you find help for your needs .

I know social anxiety controls me a lot.

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Purple Thunderstorm

By the way, I just recently started taking Lexapro again, I had a month supply of it after I quit therapy. Two weeks in and it seems to be helping a bit, but I don't know.

It took me a long time to help me. Like three months. I don't know if you are willing to wait that long.

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk

[runner97]

Originally Posted by Purple Thunderstorm

I don't feel like writing a story out, so I'm just going to list my psychological and physical symptoms.

By the way, I know I should see a doctor for proper diagnosis but I can't afford it.

I am a sixteen year old American male and I have struggled with agoraphobia, panic disorder, depression, and what I believe may be Borderline personality disorder. I have also battled several addictions to substances such as alcohol, cigarettes, painkillers and benzos.

- Social isolation (I am afraid of the public, even to the point where the outside world frightens me)
- Wide mood swings
- Enhanced emotions (I feel depressed instead of sad, rage instead of anger, panic instead of anxiety)
- Frequent panic attacks, on and off
- Difficulty concentrating (can't read, hardly can write)
- Can't talk to friends or family face to face
- Can't make eye contact
- Suicidal thoughts (read below)
- Achy, fatigued feeling about half of the time
- Insomnia during week (sometimes not going to sleep for two days), sleeping too much on weekends (sometimes up to 13-14 hours straight)
- Decreased appetite most of the time (lost 15 pounds in a month)
- Increased appetite on very rare occasions
- Speech difficulties
- Very poor short-term memory
- Headaches, abdominal pains...

Possible trigger:

My mother's mom committed suicide in 1974 due to what is now believed to be Bipolar Disorder,

though she was improperly diagnosed with schizophrenia. My mom's dad was a depressed alcoholic, and my mom was mentally abused during her childhood by her step-mom. Her brother is a psychopath drug addict. My dad's dad suffered PTSD from combat in WWII (fought at D-Day as a combat medic under the command of Gen. Patton) and my dad has minor anxiety issues. My dad is rarely around due to his job. Most of my family members and family friends are dead or not in contact with us for one reason or another.

Also, though I do have suicidal thoughts, I don't think I would ever actually do it because I could not do that to my mother.

I have no friends whatsoever, just a couple of friendly acquaintances. All I want to know is what do you think is my issue? I have been diagnosed with social anxiety in the past, but I believe my problems are much deeper than basic anxiety.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Any response will be greatly appreciated.

Sounds similar to Borderline Personality Disorder. Sending you good vibes.

[vital]

Originally Posted by Purple Thunderstorm

I don't feel like writing a story out, so I'm just going to list my psychological and physical symptoms.

By the way, I know I should see a doctor for proper diagnosis but I can't afford it.

I am a sixteen year old American male and I have struggled with agoraphobia, panic disorder, depression, and what I believe may be Borderline personality disorder. I have also battled several addictions to substances such as alcohol, cigarettes, painkillers and benzos.

- Social isolation (I am afraid of the public, even to the point where the outside world frightens me)
- Wide mood swings
- Enhanced emotions (I feel depressed instead of sad, rage instead of anger, panic instead of anxiety)
- Frequent panic attacks, on and off
- Difficulty concentrating (can't read, hardly can write)
- Can't talk to friends or family face to face
- Can't make eye contact
- Suicidal thoughts (read below)
- Achy, fatigued feeling about half of the time
- Insomnia during week (sometimes not going to sleep for two days), sleeping too much on weekends (sometimes up to 13-14 hours straight)
- Decreased appetite most of the time (lost 15 pounds in a month)
- Increased appetite on very rare occasions
- Speech difficulties
- Very poor short-term memory
- Headaches, abdominal pains...

Possible trigger:

My mother's mom committed suicide in 1974 due to what is now believed to be Bipolar Disorder,

though she was improperly diagnosed with schizophrenia. My mom's dad was a depressed alcoholic, and my mom was mentally abused during her childhood by her step-mom. Her brother is a psychopath drug addict. My dad's dad suffered PTSD from combat in WWII (fought at D-Day as a combat medic under the command of Gen. Patton) and my dad has minor anxiety issues. My dad is rarely around due to his job. Most of my family members and family friends are dead or not in contact with us for one reason or another.

Also, though I do have suicidal thoughts, I don't think I would ever actually do it because I could not do that to my mother.

I have no friends whatsoever, just a couple of friendly acquaintances. All I want to know is what do you think is my issue? I have been diagnosed with social anxiety in the past, but I believe my problems are much deeper than basic anxiety.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Any response will be greatly appreciated.

Hi Purple,

That's a lot of stuff. Here's the best that I know for depression:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

and, especially for you, this general plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

Many of the things in that plan are free or nearly free and are safe and healthy for you, so there is no down-side to trying.

You really should see an MD, though. You say you don't have the $s for this, but I hope you can find a way to get some decent health care.

- vital