[themacmonster]

So I think I might have a mental illness but I'm not sure and I don't know what it would be. All I know is that sometimes I don't think the way others think. Now these things aren't major, they can just be distracting at times. First off, I have this weird thing about everything being balanced. Say if I'm typing on the computer and I haven't used a finger to type in a while, then I have to repeatedly type with it to make it not aggravate me anymore. And if I was to bite one side of my lip, I would half to bite the rest of my lip equally or else it will annoy me. Also, whenever I hear words or read words, my brain just picks up random words subconsciously and I have to spell them in my head in order to continue reading. I can ignore it, but it's hard. It's gotten to be worse lately that I pick up phrases and I have to spell and draw the words in my head. I sometimes even have outlined of the words and fill them in until their perfect. The most annoying thing about it though is that whenever I fill in the words my brain makes another line that connects off of a letter and then I have to fill that in. More lines keep forming and eventually I'm on a rabbit trail in my head that won't stop unless I make it stop which can be hard as well. There are other little things that bother me that are like these, but these are the main problems. I know I sound crazy and I usually do to anyone I tell, but I just need some answers on why this happens because I don't think it's normal.

Thanks,
Macey

I hope that some other people who know more about it will answer your post. What you are describing sounds to me like a compulsion, as in OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder.) It's very treatable with medication.

You could talk to your primary care physician about it, if you have one that you are comfortable with and trust, or you could also go straight to a psychotherapist or other mental health provider to get a diagnosis.

I don't know how old you are or what your health insurance situation is. If you don't have insurance, if you call United Way at 211, they will be able to tell you who you can see in your area for treatment.

Hugs.

[*Laurie*]

No, you don't 'sound crazy'...you sound like you're describing OCD. I do very similar things with words and, when I was younger, I used to do the 'evening up' thing (if I blinked one eye I had to blink the other, then both so they'd be even).

The good news is, there are a lot of ways to learn to cope with OCD.

[Nike007]

I agree with what other people posted. It sounds like OCD. I suggest you find someone to talk to about it and get therapy, treatment, etc.. Maybe do some research on OCD if you haven't already? It will help you get a general idea on it. Maybe take an online quiz, print your results, and give it to a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, whoever. Hope this helps .

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[CrazyLo]

I agree, it's OCD. There is such a type of OCD where you are obsessed with words and phrases. Also the "evening out" thing. Maybe seek professional help to get an official diagnosis.

[Tauren]

I agree that it sounds like textbook OCD but don't forget we're not professionals. It's something to ask a psychiatrist. There IS help for OCD, if that's what it is. There are several medications and therapies that have helped people. https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/

[Rose76]

I would agree with you that these tendencies are not typical and, in that sense, could be thought of as abnormal. But abnormal doesn't mean "mentally ill."

Mentally ill means that a person has trouble taking care of themself and handling normal responsibilities, like keeping a job. A mentally ill person experiences pretty severe emotional distress, beyond what you are describing.

Some members of PC would disagree with me and expand the definition of mental illness to include a lot more than I would include. If you had acne, would you say, "I am in poor health."? Few people would consider themselves unhealthy on the basis of having acne, even bad acne. It is a skin disease, but it doesn't interfere much with most of the ways a person needs to function to cope with life.

Your tendencies toward these compulsive behaviors are a sign of something. One theory is that compulsive behaviors are related to some sort of anxiety problem. It's a theory. It's a possibility. Give that some thought.

No doubt, you'ld feel more relaxed if you didn't have these tendencies. You can set out to limit the hold they have on you. Check out the library and articles online about OCD and anxiety disorders. You'll probably never ger rid of them completely. They may change in intensity, depending on what's going on in your life.

Be assured that some very successful people throughout history have had some very strong tendencies like yours - even way more bizarre and harder to control. If it wouldn't make you feel uncomfortable, ask some people who know you well to describe how you seem to them, in terms of anxiety, being very particular, etc. Other people can often see us better than we can see ourselves.

[Beachlover527]

It sounds like OCD. If this really is affecting your life in a negative way, you should seek help for it.
I did exactly the same thing when I was younger. If I made a sound coming from the right side of my mouth, I would have to do it the exact same on the left. If I did something with my hands on my right side, I would need to repeat it with my left and keep repeating until it was how my right hand did it. The strange thing is that it's kinda disappeared as I grew older. I'm not so concerned about getting things to be equal anymore, which is a good thing!

Best of luck to you
I hope you find the help that you need

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