[Aina]

I don't know whether there is something really wrong with me, or whether I am just being overly analyzing my own self, but I have been hearing a lot of confusing theories about myself and my state and I try real hard to make a sense of it myself, but it often brings just more doubt and more questions.
Would be anyone willing to help me define what's the issue? Or at least give me an idea of what might it be?

- I am prone to feeling blue, to self pity, victimization of my own self and melancholy
- all this adds up with feeling imperfect and bad
- I have very high values and goals that are very personal and important for me, but I can't seem to have the willpower to accomplish any of them
- that leads to feelings of severe guilt and self disapproval
- I have very low self confidence because of that and always look for approval of others because of that. I am not directly asking for attention, but rather use indirect signs like developing my own sense of style and fashion and waiting for people to notice it and comment on it. Or creating a piece of art just to win the compliments
- I have very high standards that I am aware of failing to live up to not only for myself, but also for others
- I am very critical of other people and can relate to just very few that are in some way special for me
- I often feel very different from others and experiece serve feelings of rejection or not belonging to the society or any group of people
-which makes me feel lonely and misunderstood, but also special and uniqe
- I am very reserved and it is hard for me to open up to anyone and I feel like nobody really knows me
- I can feel my own inner feelings extremely and far more than average humans, but it is hard for me to be emotional with people or in a relationship
- as a teenager and adolescent I had a history of self harming and suicidal behaviors and eating disorder
- I experienced panic attacks and derealization and sometimes experience mild anxiety
- This causes me to have very few friends and limited group of people around me
- I feel inferior and very shy a lot which makes social life and meeting new people hard
- I am highly functioning student of journalism with very limited but existing social life

[PumpkinPieHead]

Have you taken the sanity score test? It is pretty informative when you don't know where you "fit".

[Aina]

Originally Posted by PumpkinPieHead

Have you taken the sanity score test? It is pretty informative when you don't know where you "fit".

I did, but it didn't really tell me anything. My overall score was 119.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/sanit...16360-119.html

[Nike007]

I looked at your sanity score and from what you read, and depression really speaks out to me. Dissociation was high on your sanity score thing, so maybe that is also causing your symptoms? Anxiety may be mixed in with it too, but I see a lot of depression. You should try to speak to a mental health professional to get the right diagnosis and treatment though.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[Aina]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I looked at your sanity score and from what you read, and depression really speaks out to me. Dissociation was high on your sanity score thing, so maybe that is also causing your symptoms? Anxiety may be mixed in with it too, but I see a lot of depression. You should try to speak to a mental health professional to get the right diagnosis and treatment though.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

I do go to therapy regularly every week. I think my dissociation score was inaccurate though, because I think it was mistaken for my very low ability to focus, forgetfulness and zero attention for detail in my environment which are a part of my personality ever since I was a child.
I was wondering whether it is something more severe than depression though...

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Aina

I do go to therapy regularly every week. I think my dissociation score was inaccurate though, because I think it was mistaken for my very low ability to focus, forgetfulness and zero attention for detail in my environment which are a part of my personality ever since I was a child.
I was wondering whether it is something more severe than depression though...

Have you thought of ADHD then? Especially since you said it has happened since a child?

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[Aina]

Originally Posted by Nike007

Have you thought of ADHD then? Especially since you said it has happened since a child?

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

I did... I have been told by those who know me that I seem to have ADD or ADHD, but I have never been diagnosed with it by a professional.

I guess it was because most professionals assume that low ability to focus and lack of awareness of the detail are part of my other issues rather than an attention deficit.
I know that people with depression, anxiety or basically most of the mental health issues can experience such symptoms.

I've never gotten to talking more in depth about it with a professional, because since it has been a part of me my whole life, I thought my current issues such as depression were more appropriate to discuss.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Aina

I did... I have been told by those who know me that I seem to have ADD or ADHD, but I have never been diagnosed with it by a professional.


I guess it was because most professionals assume that low ability to focus and lack of awareness of the detail are part of my other issues rather than an attention deficit.

I know that people with depression, anxiety or basically most of the mental health issues can experience such symptoms.


I've never gotten to talking more in depth about it with a professional, because since it has been a part of me my whole life, I thought my current issues such as depression were more appropriate to discuss.

Maybe you should look into it. Sometimes ADHD is the primary issue and is making or causing the depression or anxiety. It may help you more. Many people with ADHD also have depression and anxiety. Good luck.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg